


Shattered Pieces

by Nerwen



Series: Survival Series [2]
Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Thranduil, Enemy Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Loss of Control, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, fugue state, reference to rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:48:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 67,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6257155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerwen/pseuds/Nerwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.<br/>(Edited and revised version from original Survival Part II)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am opening the new release of “Survival - Part II” with a new name entitled “Shattered Pieces” Inspired by the Otep song, the first chapter will be the song itself. I have rewritten and revised this story as the first time I had so much trouble with updating and keeping on track, it taking turns I didn’t like and couldn’t follow so I decided to re-write it, although the first few chapters will be virtually the same (a few edit’s here and there) the following chapters will be quite different.  
> The lyrics might seem a bit confusing but it fits well with Thranduil’s state of mind, I highly suggest actually listening to the song/poem as it will probably flow easier. The original "Survival Part II" will be discontinued in favor of this version.

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 1  
Chapter: 1 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: I decided to make Survival a Series fiction and this will be called ‘Shattered Pieces’ that will have multiple chapters. If you have not read the first fiction 'Survival' then some elements to this fiction you might not understand so I highly suggest you read Part 1 first, although it's not completely required. To those who have already read Survival, I did a little editing to the original story (not much) Anyway I hope you guys enjoy!  
I dedicate this fic to all those who have asked for a sequel and gave such positive feedback from the first installment of the Survival Series, this is for you guys! However, I must give a special shout out to XxIrisxX, who has read, and given me such great feedback and encouragement through the process of writing this, I appreciate everything you've done and I hope you enjoy!

***

I am opening the new release of “Survival - Part II” with a new name entitled “Shattered Pieces” Inspired by the Otep song, the first chapter will be the song itself. I have rewritten and revised this story as the first time I had so much trouble with updating and keeping on track, it taking turns I didn’t like and couldn’t follow so I decided to re-write it, although the first few chapters will be virtually the same (a few edit’s here and there) the following chapters will be quite different.  
The lyrics might seem a bit confusing but it fits well with Thranduil’s state of mind, I highly suggest actually listening to the song/poem as it will probably flow easier.

***

 

And this is how the world died…  
And this is how the world died…

(I can hear you judging me)  
(I'll hear your confession)

I found the best piece of me…

(Kneel down)

Alone…Shivering in the dark

(Place your face between my thighs)

Three centimeters tall…

(And talk to god)

Eating its heart…

(But you will not feast on me today)  
(This is how the world died)

Who will slay this thing?

(I forgive you)

Who will play the butcher and end my suffering?

(I forgive you)  
(I fucked the minds of the masses with the fingers of liberty)

This is not a threat

(This is not a threat)  
(I'm not perfect, I'm not a beauty queen I'm just me, I'm just me)

We are all…Prisoners here…

(All shapes and sizes, all shapes and sizes)  
(I've screamed for all the women I've never been but hoped I would be)  
(I'm proud of who I am)

Forever chasing the sun…

(I'm proud of me)  
(She bites her trembling mind)

It began as all tragedies do…  
(She’s the one)  
(Forgive me, forgive me)

With pain and deception…

(If you'll be the paper I' will be the pen)

This is it…

(I've tasted hell and it tastes just like you)

My final plea…  
No one is coming to save me…  
No one is going to change things…  
The answers will not drop from the sky  
I will not one day wake with a different disguise…

(No! No!)

The only solution…is revolution  
Art is war!  
Fight! Fight!

(The odds were always against me)  
(Lose weight)  
(Clearly think)  
(I exist, I exist, I am broken, I am broken)  
(I exist, I am broken)

If god is my father…Then I am an orphan

(I am broken)  
(I am not a mistake, I’m not a mistake)  
(My ancestry is a ghost story)

I'm a prophecy

(My love life is a crime scene)

I'm an omen

(My self-esteem is a string of unsolved murders)

The radio is brainwashing me filling my head with these self conspiracies…

(I am an emotional nightmare)  
(I can't hide the pain inside)  
(Builder of my own mythology)

Just tell me…

…You're listening…

***

Thanks to all how have given me such positive feedback on the original work, I will be keeping the original one posted but I will be discontinuing it in favor of this one, I hope you will like the new and improved version! This is a strange song I realize but I thought it went well with Thranduil’s state of mind, confused and damaged is what I am aiming for I hope everyone likes the future chapters, chapter two will be posted in a couple of days ^_^


	2. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 2

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 2  
Chapter: 2 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: After years of avoidance and desperation in trying to forget the rape he suffered from Thorin Thranduil’s fragile psyche is breaking down and when his father’s robe is returned to him he breaks. Thorin wants nothing more than to resume contact with Thranduil but after being thwarted at every turn he decided to contact Legolas instead.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Thanks to everyone for all the positive feedback and encouragement through the duration on this fiction, I’m so sorry I had to practically start from scratch; I hope you will all enjoy this revised and alternate version of Part two, ‘Shattered Pieces’

***

  
Thranduil sat in his study finishing up a reply letter to Lothlorien, lord Celeborn and the Lady Galadriel had been his most beneficial and reliable trade reliable realm ever since he cut off trading with Erebor, he usually didn't associate much with other Elvin realms but he realized now that had been a mistake and thankfully there was no bad blood with their relationship, they even seemed somewhat eager to form a better relationship with him now that he was willing. Their trades thus far had been generous and Thranduil had been very forthcoming with them as well, with every correspondent their trust in one another grew, he felt safe knowing that if in need he could rely on Lothlorien, and treaty between the two was not too far away.

  
Imladris still seemed somewhat hesitant to be dealing with Mirkwood but nonetheless they were starting small trades of furs and materials there were not of a great monetary value, but Thranduil understood this, the road between Imladris and Mirkwood was separated by the mountain, thus transportation of goods were more difficult to convey than going to Lothlorien, Imladris needed to be careful so they erred on the side of caution. A few wagons had already been attacked. So the supplies were limited but in time Thranduil hoped they could gain more from one another, even form an alliance one day. They Elvin forces were not hostile with one another however there was still mistrust among them; it would be wonderful if they could combine their resources and work as one driving power rather than a divided and separated people.

  
Thranduil finished his letter closing it with his seal when he noticed a package sitting upon the desk across the way. He frowned not realizing it was there before as he picked it up examining it, there was no note, no message, nothing as to who it was for, or where it had come from. Thranduil frowned but after a moment shrugged and opened the elusive package, curiosity getting the better of him.

  
Once he realized what it was it instantly dropped from his hands. It was a robe, but not just any robe it was his father's…the one Thorin had cut off of Thranduil's vulnerable and bound body. Thranduil had loved this robe, he even bartered with Thorin so not to destroy it, but once the night was finished he had forgotten it, too preoccupied with his own pain to gather it up and take it back home with him. He had left behind much the night he escaped...although ‘escape’ was the wrong word for it, he was allowed to leave and Thranduil wasted no time, in fear Thorin would change his mind. Everything he had brought with him he left behind, even his crown was left behind...but this robe, it meant so much to him sentimentally. But now…it represented a deep and painful reminder of what happened to him

  
It had been mended, sown back together seamlessly washed and pressed and obviously well taken care of, it had been a few years and it looked brand new. But the sight made Thranduil’s stomach lurch and his heart constrict. He fell to his knees pushing down the bile that threatened to rise as he looked away from the sight, it actually causing him physical pain to look upon that robe as tears rose in his eyes the slight sting and gasp of breath bringing back all too familiar feelings and reactions to his assault.

  
It was much like the burns upon his face, he actually bore no real disfigurement from that day, however his soul remembered the wound very well. If his memory was triggered and he was unable to compose himself they would manifest, they were known as soul-scars and his soul had been deeply scarred by Thorin.

  
'Why would Thorin do this? What reason could he have to send this to me now?' Thranduil's mind racing with possible answers although none seemed plausible. It didn't make sense! And something inside him snapped and he knew no more.

  
***

  
When Thranduil awoke he was in the medical ward of the palace, his whole body hurt and he couldn't remember how he had gotten here. He tried to sit up but his hands burned in protest from the movement, they had been bandaged but he could see burn marks up his forearms getting worse the closer they drew to his hands. He used his arms to sit himself up as he studied his other injuries trying to remember what had happened...this had happened once before, shortly after he had returned home after his assault, but he didn't need extensive medical attention afterward.

  
One of his guards walked into the infirmary and instantly went to his side. "Majesty your awake, we were all so worried about you...how are you feeling?" He asked searching his king’s eyes.

  
This guards name was Aldewin, he was a close friend and trusted confidant of Thranduil. He was captain of his royal guard and his own personal guardsman. He was one of the few people Thranduil actually trusted completely and without reservation, Aldewin had probably been watching over him all the time he was unconscious.

 

  
"...I'm not sure...I don't remember anything." Thranduil said looking away feeling somewhat embarrassed. "Do you?" He asked.

  
Aldewin hesitated but answered. "I came to bring you new correspondents from Imladris while you were still in your study and I heard you screaming, I rushed to the study to find you with your hands in the fire, you were pressing a robe firmly onto the wood but you were burning yourself in the process..." Aldewin said gesturing to Thranduil's wrapped hands. "I pulled you away but you became so violent with me and yourself, you were clawing at your skin and pulling out your hair, you smashed the mirrors in the room and overturned the furniture...I had to stop you before you hurt yourself further...I deeply apologize but I couldn't calm you down. So I struck you." Aldewin said his head bowed deeply in regret.

  
"You hit me?" Thranduil truly surprised Aldewin would do such a thing but not angry.

  
"I couldn't calm you, you were hurting yourself and I..." Thranduil stopped Aldewin from speaking.

  
"It's alright; I understand...I don't remember anything anyway." Thranduil said shaking his head.

  
"I apologize for speaking out of turn but you must know something, what is the last thing you do remember?" Aldewin asked wanting to understand what would lead Thranduil to do so much self harm.

  
Thranduil sighed closing his eyes trying to remember. "I was...replying to letters from Lothlorien, I was finished and was about to leave to have midday meal with Legolas, but I saw a package...it was from Erebor." Thranduil said.

"They have not attempted contact with us in some time, they sent you something?" Aldewin asked.

  
Thranduil didn't look at Aldewin and didn't answer him, he never spoke of what happened to him and wasn't about to start either. "I don't want to talk about this, I need my study put back together and I don't want to be questioned about this later either, I want this to disappear...I want you to handle this personally and speak of it to no one understand." Thranduil said his command firm.

  
Aldewin frowned at this. "I will do as you wish my King...but you know, this has happened before, you destroyed your bedroom, burned your journals, tore things apart with your bare hands, you didn't remember anything from that time either. Whatever it is that makes you do these things has not been dealt with properly, it festers within your heart until something triggers it and you become lost as a way to relive the tension of keeping it all inside...whatever happened to you need to confront and process it before you lose yourself in public view...or worse yet in front of Legolas." Aldewin paused. "You attacked me unaware of whom I was, screaming at me all the while that it was my fault, I would worry that you would act that way upon him."

  
Thranduil looked away from Aldewin. "I fear that too...but what I fear more is leaving him all alone in this world the burden of being king placed upon him so soon. I cannot confront this, I need but to forget." Thranduil said shaking his head.

  
Aldewin didn't know it but Thranduil had fallen into a feuded state more than twice now, it was closer to five times but the other times he managed to keep it to himself without anyone else noticing. He remembered that each incident occurred, but he didn't ever remember exactly what happened, he would black out and the comeback with everything around him practically destroyed. This time included Thranduil had probably broken every single mirror in the palace, burned more than a few books including his journals and this robe was not the first few articles of clothing he ripped apart or burned…however he had never placed his hands inside the flames before…the scars would last for some time too before they faded away.

  
"Tell me what happened." Aldewin said simply. "Allow me to share this burden with you, my soul purpose in life is to protect and advise you but if you do not share you worries with me…if cannot fulfill my responsibility to you...give unto me you burden...please my king let me help you." He pleaded.

  
Thranduil's mouth went dry, he wanted to speak of it so much, pour his heart out to someone and maybe just maybe it would help him heal, but what if it didn't what if it made matters worse. "I fear I would fade...I need to disregard it. I cannot dwell upon this matter too much."

 

"Avoidance is not an option anymore, it's inside you seeking escape at all times...tell me." Aldewin said searching his Kings eyes.

  
Tears began to silently flow down Thranduil's cheeks. "Leave me Aldewin." Thranduil said his voice cracking with tears.

  
"My lord..." Aldewin began but Thranduil cut him off.

  
"Do not make me command it!" Thranduil yelled, he needed to be left alone, and if he could avoid it he didn't take pleasure in forcing Aldewin to leave.

  
"As you wish" Aldewin said with a deep bow before leaving Thranduil although he stayed just outside the door ever the faithful servant.

  
Thranduil closed his eyes and took several deep breaths trying to get his breathing under control and calm his nerves. He couldn't seem to calm himself down though, after what Aldewin said to him it seemed to only upset and agonize him all the more…something had to be done.

  
***

  
Thorin sat in his bedroom near the hearth staring into the fire that was slowly dying, the embers glowing bright red, the color reflecting onto the ground. He glanced up at his mantel, Thranduil's crown was still sitting there, he hadn't taken it with him when he left that night…Thorin still remembered that night like it was yesterday.

  
He had held that beautiful elf in his arms until the morning light broke over the horizon, Thranduil had fallen unconscious shortly after the second time Thorin had indulged himself, however he still refused to stop, so driven in his own hatred and anger he wasn't able to…although he did love the look of realization and humiliation that swept over Thranduil's features as he awoke to Thorin still enjoying himself. Thranduil didn't say anything for the reminder of the night, as if he was afraid of his own voice, almost as if it would betray him.

  
Thranduil had placed the back of his hand over his mouth biting down hard upon his knuckles, Thorin remembered seeing blood slowly trail down Thranduil's chin, he was biting himself so hard he had drawn blood, he was obviously focusing more on the pain he was causing himself and less upon the pain Thorin was inflicting…it made it easier for Thranduil.

  
Thranduil cried of course and Thorin loved to lick those silent tears from his face before plundering that sweet mouth. Thorin was met with very little resistance through the rest of the night, not the lively and defiant creature that he originally brought here but a broken elf…despite all this though he didn’t yield. Thorin remembered every single detail of the night and he knew that he had to let him go so he did, he watched with arrogance as the almost helpless elf pulled on his clothing and stumbled from the room. Thorin was surprised to find that he had left that very day, not so much that he was gone more so the fact that he knew Thranduil was in terrible pain and he still forced himself to ride in that condition.

  
Thorin shook away those thoughts, true enough he did delight somewhat on the memories but at the same time he regretted it somewhat, not because he felt awful for hurting Thranduil more so from the fact Mirkwood cut itself off from Erebor and he never realized what a valuable trade partner they were before. He had been unable to reach them through letters or any type of correspondence. He had even sent his nephews once with letters and gifts but they were turned away and Thranduil himself didn't even give them and audience nor the comfort of a one night stay, he didn't accept the gifts either.

  
Thorin had had that blasted robe Thranduil so cherished repaired and sent to him with no indication as to where it had come from, hoping it would instigate a response, any kind of response was a good one at this point.

  
***

  
Legolas walked into his father's study. They were supposed to meet for the midday meal but he never saw him. He checked the dining hall again for supper but still his father hadn't come. It wasn't like him to miss their time together, he was rather adamant that they spend at least one meal together every day if possible. So it concerned Legolas enough to look for him.

  
Legolas gasped audibly at the state his father's study was in, it looked as if a stampede of horses rushed through, there was shattered glass on the floor and some of the furniture had been over turned, he dared to walk further inside and saw something burning in the fire, it was clothing, a sleeve hung out from the flames with the royal emblem on the sleeve…this robe was his grandfather’s. Legolas knew this robe was most cherished by his father, it was a reminder of his grandfather; it was adored by his father but now it was turning to ash. Also where was his father? No one else used this study it was his father private sanctuary, not even Legolas used this room. He ran from the room going to his father's chamber but not finding him there either. He checked a few other places before he ran toward the healing rooms, where he saw Aldewin outside the medical room…he knew Aldewin would only be there if his father was.

  
"Aldewin! What happened?" Legolas asked worriedly.

  
Aldewin felt his mouth go dry, "Do not worry My Prince, your father will be all right." Aldewin said not sure what to say Thranduil had asked him not to speak of it to anyone.

  
"But, his study was practically destroyed, what happened?" He asked but seeing the expression Aldewin wore he knew his father told him not to speak of it, and he wasn't going to get an answer, even if he ordered it Aldewin would always obey his father before him.

  
Legolas pushed past Aldewin although the guard tried to stop him, he had no right to keep him away from his father's side. Legolas was surprised to see his father actually crying. They were silent tears. He wasn't sobbing into his pillow; he was merely staring at the wall lost in deep thought as he cried. Legolas had never seen his father look so vulnerable in all his life, as he slowly approached him cautiously.

  
"Father?" He said unsure.

  
Thranduil's thoughts broke and he looked at his son, he didn't want to see him. "I don't want you here." He said turning away, he would ask questions and Thranduil didn't feel like answering anything.

  
"…I know, otherwise Aldewin would have informed me you were here, you didn't join me for the midday meal or for supper I was worried, did you…did you do that to your study?" Legolas asked noticing his father's injuries.

  
Thranduil hesitated. "…Yes, don't ask me why. I'm not sure what came over me." He said, he didn't want to lie to Legolas which is what made this conversation so dangerous.  
"Ada." Legolas said going to the bedside and sitting down. "Why did you burn grandfather’s robe? You loved that robe, you wanted it passed down to your children, yet you destroyed it…why?"

  
Thranduil shook his head. "I don't want to talk about this, please Legolas…just let it go."

  
"I think we need to talk about this father, you went such extremes, I think I need to know." Legolas placed a gentle hand over his father’s. "I hate seeing you suffer alone; I want you to know I am here."

  
Thranduil drew his hand away from his son's, "Stop…don't ask me questions, you don't need to know, you have no right…even though you are my son, the closest thing to my heart, I cannot allow it…just give me some time to myself I want nothing more but to be left alone right now."

  
"But father…" Legolas began but Thranduil stopped him.

  
"I told you what I need…you ignoring my request simply makes me think you want to keep talking to make *yourself* feel better, I have enough to sort out without dealing with your problems as well." Thranduil said simply, he honestly hated being so cold toward his son but he couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to be left alone, the further reminder of his shame was not helping.

  
Legolas nodded a little put off by his father's request but not deciding to push the issue further as he left his father alone.

  
Thranduil could feel the bruising, the tearing, strong hands grabbing him, touching him; how his eyes burned with hot tears and the stinging pulsation of a thin rope binding him that would send a jolt of pain with each beat of his heart. He remembered all the pain, all the suffering, the entire experience that scarred his soul so deeply that he couldn't forget, he tried so hard but he simply couldn't forget.

  
'Please, please make it stop…' He thought as he curled upon himself on the medical divan as tears overcame him and he sobbed into his pillow and began to slam his fist over and over into the thin mattress. He was angry yet so miserable at the same time and his body didn't seem to know how to find a medium to the feeling. So it erupted into a mixed reaction of weeping rage.

  
Why would Thorin do this?! What reason did he have to cause him more suffering and anguish? Had he not suffered enough for the wrongs Thorin believed he had caused? What more could Thranduil do to vanquish this memory that was fighting him for release? His mind was jumble of confusion and he needed to gain control of himself before he once more lost himself in a sea of disorder.

  
He began to concentrate on his breathing, 'slow even breaths' he reminded himself…in and out…in and out…Thranduil repeated this over and over until he had finally calmed himself and his tears had stopped and the bubbling rage within him began to dissipate. He sat up in bed and sighed deeply, this couldn't continue as it was, something needed to be done, he had been strong for three long years but it was ebbing away at his soul, almost as if piece by piece and day by day he lost a little more of himself...it needed it to stop but he didn't know how to achieve that goal.

  
***

  
Thorin was pacing his room. Things had been difficult for Erebor since Thranduil had cut himself completely off from them. It took everything they had to keep his people from starving and with the winter approaching soon he feared his best would simply not be enough anymore. The marketplace was no longer a bustle of activity most had nothing to spare thus had nothing to sell or barter with and it pained Thorin to see his people in such a desperate state. He reclaimed his throne and mountain to bring it back to glory…where had he driven this proud kingdom unto?

  
Fili walked into his uncle’s quarters seeing the concerned expression in his eyes and knowing that Thorin was deeply troubled and with good reason.

  
"I managed to get in touch with our kin and they are willing to help as much as possible but it will take time for the supplies to reach us, and I'm not sure they will arrive before the first snow fall." Fili said. They had requested cold season crop seeds among other things that would help them survive the winter but they would need to be planted and rationed before the first snow.

  
"It won't do us much good if it doesn't arrive on time." Thorin said as he sat down and placed his face in his hands.

  
Fili also sighed as he looked upon the mantle noticing the crown of the elvin king Thranduil. "Uncle, we must try and contact Mirkwood again…we are struggling too much to leave the survival of our people to chance. Whatever the reason for the separation surely he would not let an entire generation of our people perish." Fili said.  
Thorin scoffed at this. "Would you? If I took you to my bed, beat, and raped you…my dear nephew, would you ever speak to me again?" Thorin said, Thranduil may not be willing to speak of it but no such restriction was upon Thorin.

  
Fili sighed deeply, he knew what transpired between Thorin and Thranduil, and his uncle told him once he returned from Mirkwood with the gifts that were meant for Thranduil. Fili wasn't sure why his uncle told him, even more confused on why he would do something as heinous as rape…but he knew Thorin was telling the truth.

  
"Let me try again, I could reach out to the prince, bypass Thranduil completely." Fili said.

  
"The prince…? Getting anything past Thranduil would be a hard task, but not impossible, why don't we send a private invitation to the Prince to come here? If he came I'm sure it would instigate at least some type of communication between us and Mirkwood and the Prince could see for himself how desperate our situation really is." Thorin said.

  
"I can get a letter to him I'm sure without Thranduil even knowing." Fili said having a few Elvin connections with access to the royal family. "Don't worry Uncle. I'll make sure our situation is understood."

  
***

  
Legolas went to his father's study seeing the state in such disarray as he began to pick up the mess. He gathered up the books and picking up the broken mirror pieces and glass that was strewn across the room. He was preoccupied with the clean up when Aldewin walked inside.

  
Aldewin sighed and walked up to the Prince. "There is no need to concern yourself with all this, I'll handle the mess, the King asked me to do so." He said.

  
"I want to help…something must have set my father off into this rage, he won't tell me so I thought maybe the answer I'm looking for I would find here somehow." Legolas said.

  
"This is chaos my Prince, I wouldn't expect to find any answers here." Aldewin said. "Your father will speak of this when he feels ready to do so but not before, for now all we can do is wait until he's confident enough to reveal his secrets." Aldewin said.

  
"He's my father…we should be able to tell each other everything. Not have secrets." Legolas said.

  
"Everyone has secrets, even a King…even a father. He's not hiding anything to hurt you but rather to protect himself." Aldewin said gently. "Go on now. I'll take care of all this."

  
Legolas sighed but stood up to leave Aldewin to the mess, he had wished he knew what was causing his father such distress but Thranduil refused to speak of it, if it was matters of the Kingdom or affairs with the other Kingdoms his father was more than willing to share every piece of knowledge he had but he hadn't shared his emotions or feelings in years…it was strange they used to barely even spend much time together but then suddenly he requested that they spend their meals together at least once a day, he spent a few days a week in deep meditation…and he cut off all ties with Erebor, it was actually a struggle for the first year but his father refused to change his mind, it did strengthen ties with the other elvin realms and Mirkwood was thriving again but Legolas had no idea what instigated this change.

  
***

  
A few weeks after the incident in the study and Thranduil's injures had healed, Thranduil and Legolas resumed their normal tradition of meals once a day, Thranduil's meditation was increased up a notch to a few more hours in deep concentration to further suppress the memories, he wished so desperately there a way to banish them completely from his mind, and he knew that suppressing them might cause future problems but he didn't know what else to do…he was at a loss of how to handle the situation.

  
Legolas was absorbed in his studies when a knock on his door interrupted his train of thought He sighed but decided to take a break anyway "Enter." he called from his desk.  
Galion one of the council of advisors team entered. "I have a letter for you Prince Legolas." He said holding out the letter.

  
Legolas frowned. "Why are you personally delivering me a letter? It should be in my father's study with all the rest." He said taking the letter; all mail was filtered by his father's watchful eye if there was a letter for him he was sure his father wouldn't withhold it from him.

  
"I received this from a private informant, and they stressed the extreme importance that it reach you directly…you know your father refuses all correspondents with Erebor, and this is from them." Galion said.

  
Legolas looked at the letter skeptically but he decided to see what was so important that they needed to use private channels. "You may leave." Legolas said as Galion left and he opened the letter.

_-Prince Legolas of Mirkwood_

  
_This letter had been sent to you by the Royal Family of Erebor, we apologize for the underhanded technique we used in contacting you, however other attempts have been rebuked and audiences have been refused. We request humbly that you accept our invitation to come to Erebor to discuss trading negotiations._

  
_We understand that the King of Mirkwood has cut all ties with Erebor and you being the son of the great king would want only to respect his wishes however we are in dire need of your assistance. Erebor is suffering greatly, our people are in danger and we fear losing many of our kin with the approaching winter and not enough supplies to sustain them, we implore you to accept our invitation for we are desperate need of your assistance._

  
_-With great respect and humility_   
_-The Royal family under the mountain._

Legolas gave the letter a moment of pause, it held a footnote of the place and time where he was to meet them and be escorted the rest of the way to the mountain, they said to feel free to bring his own entourage at his own discretion. Legolas wasn't sure if he should accept the invitation however, his thoughts of declining sat very unnerving, what if their need was indeed so great that their people would in fact die should they not receive help? Legolas couldn't allow himself to be responsible for such a terrible misfortune. He decided to gather a few guardsmen and swear them to secrecy of their true destination while he informed his father that he would be going out hunting in the wilderness for the next few days. He knew his father would object if he knew the truth but once in Erebor he would send him a letter telling him the truth but not until he had arrived. He had to do what he could to help Erebor if their situation was in truth as desperate as they said he would do as much as he could to help.

***

Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and always responded to, thanks again!


	3. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 3

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 3  
Chapter: 3 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: Legolas goes to Erebor to talk of trades and assistance with the famine when Thranduil learns of this he is deeply concerned and cannot think of any other option but to go to Erebor himself and retrieve his son. Thorin cannot forget the night he had with Thranduil and can hardly think of anything else but being close to him once more.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Thanks to everyone who had read, given kudos, and comments after I have completely re-released this fiction, thanks to everyone!

 

***

  
Legolas met the dwarf party just slightly outside of Mirkwood forest to its east side. He brought two soldiers and Galion as his own entourage. Usually Galion would have preferred to stay in Mirkwood but his advice could prove valuable, not to mention he would need to send one of his guards back to Mirkwood with a message to his father of his whereabouts. Legolas was here on behalf of the dire need they expressed in their letter, it was troubling to Legolas and he couldn't simply ignore it…but also he might be able to get some answers to why his father cut off trading to begin with. He had asked before and was never met with an answer his father would always tell him not to concern himself, or that it was for the best, but never why it happened.

  
Legolas had forgotten how massive and truly dramatic the mountain was. He had only visited once but he didn't have much time to admire or respect its architecture or history involved within these stone walls. He had always wanted to know more and now it seemed he would have the chance. He was brought down the long corridors to the great hall where Thorin sat upon his throne and received Prince Legolas with a slight bow of his head which Legolas returned.

  
Thorin glanced at Fili, he was more than pleased that his dear nephew had come through for him. He managed to get the prince here, which was the first step in saving their people. Fili would do well in the coming years and almost certainly do well as Erebor's king but for now it was Thorin's reign and he would need to handle this situation from this time forth.

  
"I am truly grateful that you have taken the time to see us, I know the journey here can be draining I have a room already prepared for you. Allow me to walk you there personally." Thorin said trying his best to be gracious and diplomatic.

  
"There is really no need; I am here because you expressed a great need. If the situation is truly dire I do not believe we should waste any time with pleasantries. Let us speak of an arrangement." Legolas said strongly.

  
Thorin gave a small smile, he saw very much of Thranduil in his son not only in their appearance but also their personality. They were direct and to the point, they didn't conceal their intentions and would let them be known clearly, and they had a true aversion for wasting time.

  
"Follow me then Prince, we will discuss these matters in my study." Thorin said motioning for Fili and Kili to follow him.

  
"Malton, I will conduct this meeting with Galion and Haeron, please go back to Mirkwood with my letter to the King and deliver it promptly." Legolas said.

  
Thorin paused upon hearing this. "King Thranduil? Does he not know of this meeting?" Thorin had actually guessed the king, in fact, did not know about this meeting but he wanted confirmation.

  
Legolas sighed. "You went through great lengths and secret messengers to bypass my King completely and reach me specifically. My father burns any letters you send his way without any regard to their contents, he would have specifically forbade me to come if he knew, and I would not directly disobey him. However, I will not let him be oblivious to my location. Malton will tell my father where and why I am here." Legolas said.

  
Kili frowned as they walked toward the study. "Won't he be angry with you? If the King is angry it might hurt out negotiations." He said. "After all we did compel you to visit."  
"He'll be furious I'm sure, but it won't hurt our negotiations, I won't allow my father to gamble with your people's lives no matter how angry he is. I made the conscious decision to come, you are not at fault. I have Malton delivering a letter to explain exactly that. So do not fret." Legolas said as they arrived at the study and all sat down to begin their discussions.

  
***

  
"He did what!?" Thranduil practically screamed at a shrinking Malton when he delivered the news of Legolas' whereabouts. "You thought it prudent to lie to me of your true destinations and intentions!?"

  
"Forgive me my King." Malton bowed deeply keeping his eyes on the floor. "I did not know the destination until we were already on our way. I knew the Prince would tell you the truth but only after he was in Erebor, he is not in any danger I assure you Galion and Haeron are with him…" Malton was cut off by Thranduil.

  
"I cut off ties with Erebor with good reason! You should answer to your King before the orders of the Prince and you will be reprimanded!" Thranduil growled angry at the blatant disregard or his commands. "Make the necessary arrangements for me to leave for Erebor by tomorrow, sooner if possible." Thranduil said leaving the main hall an going into his private rooms.

  
He was packing a bare minimum of supplies. If Malton knew what was best he would already be preparing his horse for departure. He began to get undressed so he could change into his riding attire, when Aldewin walked in.

  
"It's only polite to knock you know." Thranduil said slightly irritated but not really caring either he knew Aldewin very well, he had been present for Thranduil's birth as was his personal royal guard the two were more than friends yet less than lovers.

  
"I heard the commotion in the main hall…you usually don't get so angry over such a minor incident." Aldewin said as Thranduil moved behind a screen to finish changing. "Legolas would not disobey you without good reason."

  
"Minor? My son lied to me about his true destination and purpose, trade negotiations indeed, I'm going to Erebor getting my son back and never again dealing with those…things." Thranduil said gritting his teeth.

  
Aldewin frowned. "Things…? You make it sound as if the dwarfs are lower than an orc." Aldewin said.

  
"…Not all of them." Thranduil said softly under his breath although Adewin picked up on it anyway.

  
"I have taken care of your study, there were a few things that I couldn't save, but for the most part it is back in order." Aldewin said changing the subject as if what happened was a normal occurrence. "May I request permission to accompany you to Erebor? You shouldn't go alone but with the rush, a suitable entourage cannot be arranged." Aldewin said.

  
"…Yes…I want you to see what we would be able to spare as far as supplies, dried meats, preserves, possibly some saplings that have not already been planted." Thranduil said.  
Aldewin frowned. "My lord?" He asked.

  
"I have a fairly good idea why and how they convinced Legolas to come for negotiations, Mirkwood was their major supply route for quite some time until I broke off operations between us…they might be in need of some assistance. If that is the case I could be persuaded to help but I want to know the full extent of our supplies before I go." Thranduil said as Aldewin departed to gather the information he requested.

  
Thranduil slipped on his riding boots taking a deep breath, his only concern was for Legolas now. He was now in his most hated enemy's clutches and now Thranduil had to come face to face with the same evil that brutalized him…he wasn't sure if it was anxiety or fear that was growing in the pit of his stomach making him feel sick but whatever he was feeling he needed to bring his son back home, make sure he was safe, if the unthinkable was to befall his son…Thranduil wasn't sure he could withstand the pain.

  
***

  
Legolas listened intently to everything Thorin had to say as well as the proof of their depleted supplies. It definitely wasn't enough to sustain the population through the winter. Thorin's people were starving, living off stale bread crust and contaminated water if they were lucky. Many had not even that to sustain themselves. Legolas was curious on how well off the Royal family was but they were in the same basic shape only eating what was absolutely necessary and selflessly giving any other available portions to the people in the hope to save them but it simply wasn’t enough.

  
"We called upon our kin for help too, but due to population they could only help so much and we need the supplies before the first snowfall and although they will try I don't know if they would arrive in time for us to make good use of their seedlings." Fili explained being the one who handled the negotiations with their dwarf kin.

  
"You need more than seedlings though, you need meat protein, and vegetables high in fiber and carbohydrates, clean drinking water, your people are becoming sick and weak due to all they are lacking and even if they survive the winter you will have a long road to recovery in regaining their strength to begin working fields and raising livestock so that this does not happen again." Legolas said firmly his heart breaking at the terrible state these dwarfs were living in.

  
"That is why we desperately need your help, we will pay any price you ask, the mountain is rich in gold and gems." Thorin said.

  
"A lake of gold in the desert is less valuable than a fresh spring." Legolas said with a sigh. "Mirkwood actually had a great harvest this year, spring came so early we were able to plant and harvest twice before the snowfall would come, and our cold season vegetable crops are also looking very promising. Tell me why have you not planted winter crops already? You should have a full supply of collards, potatoes, beets, some of which would be ready for harvest in a month had you simply prepared." Legolas said sternly the people were not the ones at fault. It was their King who was responsible for this famine.

  
"Dwarfs are not farmers." Kili said with a huff.

  
"Maybe you should be, if you had been planting and working fields your people wouldn't be starving." Legolas said sternly. "I know Mirkwood had a generous harvest, and a very productive trade for meats from Lotholorien…I'm sure we can spare the excess to help you, but you must know I cannot authorize this on my own, such a large transfer of goods will have to be permitted by my father and considering his disposition on trading with you I am not sure he will allow it, if he is adamant about trade routes staying closed there is nothing I can do…I will do everything in my power to persuade him to help though." Legolas said.

  
Thorin shook his head. "You cannot allow him to refuse, you are our last hope…we will pay any price you ask of us and will one day pay back the generosity you have shown us, I swear by the mountain that this debt will be paid but please do not let my people die." Thorin said practically begging for his people's lives.

  
"I will do everything I can King Thorin, but I am but the prince of Mirkwood and our King, King Thranduil has quite a contempt against your people…you wouldn't know anything about why would you?" Legolas asked searching the dwarf King’s eyes for some type of clue as to what happened between their people.

  
Thorin looked away at the moment sparing a glance at Kili. Legolas didn't know? It would seem that Thranduil was true to his word about remaining silent about the ordeal, these past few years Thranduil had never spoke of it? Not even to his only son? He seemed stronger than Thorin had originally given him credit for. Thorin knew that what he had done was cold and it could ultimately kill Thranduil. He had never known an elf to survive. He had heard stories of other elves who had been assaulted in such a way and some faded while others sailed to the Valinor, but Thranduil had stayed and somehow he carried on.

  
"The reason is long, there had been much strife between our people over the centuries, but it doesn't matter now I am willing to make any amends necessary to save my people." Thorin said.

  
Legolas nodded and stood. "Prepare a letter and requests, I will deliver it to my father and make sure he receives it and understands your situation." Legolas softened a little. "I will do everything I can."

  
Thorin nodded. "I'll have it written immediately, please stay and rest to ensure your travel will not be hindered. It will take a few days to make a full list of requests. Stay until we have taken the necessary inventory." He said as Legolas left escorted by Kili.

  
Fili turned to his uncle once he was assured that Legolas was well out of earshot. "Thranduil will not forgive you, and I'm not sure the suffering of our people will sway him to help" He said firmly.

 

"What would you have me do Fili? I am doing everything in my power to receive help. We can only wait now and see if things work out for the best." Thorin said.

  
"I know you will not say it but Thranduil's son being here is a great advantage…we could use him to persuade the King, even force his hand if we must." Fili said. The only thing both Fili and Thorin cared about right now was to save their subjects.

  
Thorin frowned and shook his head. "If we did that it could start a war Fili and we cannot fight them with our resources so depleted, it would only make our situation worse. Also with their alliance with the other Elvin realms they would certainly defeat us." Thorin said.

  
"Thranduil wouldn't do that; he would do anything if only to keep his secret safe. He wouldn't sacrifice his son, no, but if he called upon others to fight a war his secret would be revealed and he simply wouldn't allow that to happen…his only concern is Legolas and survival. We cannot allow him to refuse. We can't let Legolas leave." Fili said.

  
Thorin sighed. "Very well…however he will not be leaving for at least another few days. We can afford to wait before we alarm him." He looked at Fili. "Make a suitable place for the prince to be held, I don't want to place him in the dungeon. He is here by no fault of his own and I don't want him harmed do you understand?" Thorin said sternly.  
"No harm will come to him, I promise you this." Fili said leaving him alone.

  
***

  
Thorin walked slowly back to his room. His mind was spinning with everything, his people’s famine, his own dedication to do everything he could to save them, Legolas the innocent bystander…and then there was Thranduil: the one person who could help. This elf could be the mountain’s destruction if he refused aid. Thorin honestly didn't want to lock Legolas up and use him as a bartering chip but he really had no other choice, Fili was right, if Legolas was home safe and sound what reason would Thranduil have to listen? He wouldn't care and that prideful and arrogant elf would let them die!

  
Thorin took the crown of Thranduil's off his mantel and looked at it a moment. Strong metal that rested alongside delicate and high cheekbones, finely crafted wood rising toward the sky and fragile leaves the color of autumn woven alongside the kindling. It was beautiful and it looked beautiful upon Thranduil. As Thorin's thoughts drifted back to that night he had Thranduil at his mercy and he felt that same stirring in his groin that he felt before the heat rushing through his veins and pooling in-between his legs.  
He placed the crown back upon the mantle and sat in one of the chairs in front of the hearth where he could look upon it as he began to undo the laces of his breeches. He pulled down the doeskin, grasping his member which was slowly becoming stiff in his hold as he slowly began to pump his length while gazing at that crown, fantasizing of that beautiful elf writing beneath him in pain, making Thorin's delight all the more pleasurable. Thorin would have raped Thranduil that night even if he had apologized. He wanted to have him even if meant he would have to force him. Thorin groaned in pleasure as his member began to leak only slicking the way for Thorin to stroke himself faster.

  
"Oh…by the mountain…yes." He growled deep in his throat. "Cry more, scream louder, hate it, oh god yes!" Thorin spilled his seed all over his hands as his breath came in heavy pants. Thorin had more than once used the memories of that night to bring himself to completion and soon he would be seeing him again, he knew well enough that he probably would never touch him again but nevertheless seeing him again would stir his bottled up passion anew. For all the times he shared his bed with girls and boys alike with seasoned warriors and the most beautiful and noble of maidens. None of them seemed to sate his desire as Thranduil had. Even without Thranduil here and with nothing but the visual of his crown he could bring himself such a blessed release that of which could never be duplicated.

  
Thorin took a moment to catch his breath; Legolas had probably already been moved and confined. By morning he would know the trickery, yet be helpless to remedy it. Thranduil would be forced to come, and he would do anything to save his child…Thorin truly wanted no harm to befall the Prince but his kingdom and his people's lives did outweigh the fate of one elvin princeling. Thorin would have this Elvin King Thranduil yield to his demands. He would finally get Thranduil to yield.

  
***

  
Thranduil dismounted his horse once outside Mirkwood's forest, he could see the outline of Erebor in the distance, the lonely mountain solid and unyielding. 'What was Legolas thinking?' Thranduil thought to himself. Aldewin walked up to Thranduil.

  
"It will take over a day for us to arrive, I sent a messenger ahead so they will be expecting our arrival." He said Thranduil was in such haste to go Aldewin had little time to prepare.

  
"I only wish to retrieve my son and come back…if they require assistance I trust you can make the necessary arrangements." Thranduil said mountain his horse and starting toward the mountain his heart beat becoming heavier with each gallop.

  
"You still won't tell me what is wrong? I know it is connected to Erebor, something or someone…you've been behaving out of character ever since the celebration three years ago, I didn't wish to question you but it concerns me more and more." Aldewin said.

  
"Aldewin…" Thranduil paused. "I know you mean well but your constant interference is going to do more harm than good. If I ever feel the need to confide in you I will but until then I want no more talk of this this understand?"

  
"Very well my King." Aldewin said deciding to leave the topic alone for now, Thranduil was stressed enough with his son going to Erebor now was not the time.

  
***

 

"King Thorin, I was just informed a small party from Mirkwood will be reaching our border by nightfall, I hear it is the King himself with his royal guardsmen." The young dwarf said to Thorin.

  
"Give his majesty the best rooms we have available as well as his guard, I'm sure he will want him close." He said with no twinge of emotion in his voice as the youthful dwarf scurried off

  
"That was quick Thranduil." He said to himself, he must have hastened his departure to be coming so soon to his sons rescue. Thorin didn't quite understand this almost obsessive need Thranduil had to do practically anything all for the sake of his son, Thorin couldn't phantom that type of blind love and devotion…partly why Thorin himself never married. Dwarfs mated for life and he had no intention of giving himself fully to some dwarf maiden who was after his crown, and he didn't want children either. Thorin sighed, he wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish with practically forcing Thranduil to come to Erebor but at the same time he desperately needed to see him again despite that.

  
It was strange but he had envisioned many times exactly what he would do to Thranduil if he was given the chance to see he him, to be close to him. He could already feel that silky-smooth elvin flesh beneath his palms, taste the salt of his skin and tears…but he knew that that type of opportunity with Thranduil would never present itself again not to mention that he needed to stay focused on getting the resources he needed for his people.

  
***

  
Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and responded to, thanks for reading!

 


	4. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 4

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 4  
Chapter: 4 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: Thorin and Thranduil finally meet once more after three years of avoidance and refusal and Thorin realizes for the first time just how badly he has damaged the Elvin King.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Revised and edited for all you have read and reviewed! Hope this makes it better ^_^

  
***

  
Thranduil was now sitting in how own private quarters in the mountain, the assistant told him Thorin would meet with him later but the anticipation was practically killing Thranduil, not to mention the young dwarf would not speak of his son and that his king would tell him of everything he needed to know in the morning.

  
Thranduil was re-thinking his decision to come to the mountain with only Aldewin as his companion, he should not of let his anger and fear get the better of him, he should have had an entourage of at least four guards accompany him it was foolish of him to not do so…although he thought it even more foolish to be here in the first place. He shouldn't have even come to this mountain; he should have insisted they come to him if they wanted to negotiate…however he feared that any delay would be devastating to his son.

  
Thranduil sat with his back to the door, he was terrified that at any moment it would open and Thorin would be there. They had arrived at a rather late hour so it was no wonder that they couldn't receive an audience instantly but Thranduil would not be finding any rest in this mountain so it only made his mind wander and think back on that terrible night even though he wished desperately not to. He had spent years trying to forget and in one simple act of an anonymous package that contained Thranduil's fathers robe…it was all coming apart, he was coming apart. He just wanted to forget, to live his life as a good father and a strong king…but he wasn't that strong in a situation such as this he was incredibly weak and even terrified. A few silent tears made their way down his cheeks as he furiously wiped them away.

  
A soft knock on his door made Thranduil jump, although it was soft it was incredibly loud in Thranduil's ear as if a crack of thunder had roused him from a deep sleep. He swallowed thickly as he stood up on shaky legs and opened the door just a crack. He sighed relived seeing that it was Aldewin.

  
"I'm sorry if I woke you…I was concerned…" Aldewin wasn't sure exactly why he was alarmed but Thranduil behavior as of late made him apprehensive.

  
"Please come in." Thranduil said opening the door fully to allow him inside, he was actually thankful for any distraction. "I could use the company…your concern is touching, I'll be all right I'm just anxious to see Legolas." Thranduil said.

  
"Yes, the attendant wasn't very forthcoming of his whereabouts was he?" Aldewin said shaking his head. "I'm sure he fine, he was probably sleeping anyway considering the hour, you'll see him tomorrow I'm sure, and then we can all go home." Aldewin walked up to Thranduil touching his Kings face gently and looking at him intently. "You were crying." He said simply worry crossing his features.

  
"I'm fine." Thranduil said turning away from the gaze, he had forgotten the few tears he shed, he was never able to hide anything from Aldewin, and partly what made Aldewin such a wonderful friend also made him an exasperating companion. "It was nothing." He added hastily.

  
"You don't cry over nothing, you never cry, I've seen it happen only once at that was when Legolas was born and I highly doubt that some twisted sense of happiness made you cry in this mountain." He said pulling Thranduil back to look at him. "Is there nothing I can do? Why won’t you let me in so that I can help you? I am sworn to protect you but if you don't let me in then I am worthless."

  
Thranduil shook his head. "You could never be worthless Aldewin." Thranduil said turning away from him. "You are essential…the only other I have ever felt comfortable enough to confide in, I have told you things that I have never shared with any other, not my wife, not even Legolas…but I still have secrets that I do not wish to share with anyone including you." Thranduil said sadly, he wished he could tell him but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

  
"If you cannot speak of it to me then who?" Aldewin asked.

  
"No one, these are my secrets to hold and my burden to bear…I do not wish to lose you or my son over this matter, weather you turn from me or I lose myself it matters not." Thranduil said truly believing that both Aldewin and Legolas would look upon him in disgust if he revealed the truth about the violation he suffered at Thorin's hands, if they were to turn away from him he knew that pain would surely make him fade, it would be more painful than being raped a hundred times over.

  
"I would never." Aldewin said matter-of-factly. "You shouldn't be alone tonight. I'll stay and watch over you, try and get some rest you'll be meeting the dwarf king soon enough." Aldewin said settling down in one of the chairs to keep watch.

  
Thranduil sighed sitting upon the bed, he actually felt better at not being alone at this time, he wouldn’t have to worry too much about unwanted attention or visits, and he settled into bed and fell into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

  
***

  
Thranduil awoke to a soft knock on his camber door, he awoke looking upon Aldewin's sleeping face, he was still wearing his clothes and he must have stayed awake through most of the night to be sleeping so soundly now. Thranduil couldn't help but smile slightly; he really was a good friend. Aldewin had always looked after Thranduil and taken such god care of him, Thranduil truly wished he could trust him enough to confide the truth of what happened to him, it really had nothing to do with Aldewin but more Thranduil's inability to trust anyone, he was still having trouble trusting others…even those whom he had known all his life.

  
He shook himself of that thought as he went to answer the door while shrugging on a robe. A young dwarf bowed deeply as he addressed Thranduil.

  
"Elvin King, my Lord requests you join him for breakfast in his study, your talks can proceed without interruptions." He said glancing behind the king seeing the sleeping form of another although he kept it to himself for the time being.

  
Thranduil paused for a moment. "Where is your Kings study located?" He asked.

  
"It is connected to his main room in the center of the Palace; I assure you it's a suitable place for talks and negotiations." The young dwarf said.

  
Thranduil glanced back at Aldewin before turning his attention back to the young dwarf before him. "You will take me to your library and I will meet the King there." He said as he sat to put his boots on.

  
"But…my Lord insisted on meeting in his study." He said worried about disobeying the order.

  
"And I am refusing…you said he requested me join him I deny his request, if he wishes to meet me I will wait for him in the library." Thranduil said striding past the young dwarf going toward the library he remembered where it was he really had no need to be guided.

  
***

  
Thorin fumed at Thranduil's insolence, it was a simple request for him to come to the study he wasn't asking to meet him in his bedroom…although he wanted to. "I do not appreciate my orders being disobeyed." He growled seeing the cowering form of the young dwarf before him so he softened a little. "I asked you to observe him, what was his demeanor?" Thorin asked.

  
"He seemed to be all right, adamant about not meeting you here though." he said.

  
"Just fine?" Thorin asked.

  
"Well, it seemed I had woken him and…he wasn't alone, his guardsman was still asleep, I believe they spent the night together." He said seeing a strange look cross his Kings features.

  
"You may go, I'll meet him in the library as he asked, send some food up for us." Thorin said. Was Thranduil sleeping with his guard? Was he honestly involved with someone? Thorin found himself feeling an uncontrollable surge of…jealousy? It was an odd sensation to feel anything but hate and anger for Thranduil, that and lust, something he was unable to control. He knew it shouldn’t matter to him that elf was free to do whatever and whoever he wanted and in the end it really wasn't Thorin's business…but it still bothered him nonetheless and that in itself was concerning.

  
Thorin shook himself of all those thoughts as he made his way toward the library, he remembered the library was where had fist spoken to Thranduil, before the fall of Erebor, they had a civilized conversation for a few moments over a cup of wine…until Thranduil had insulted him and his kin, he didn't say anything outright but his implication that he cared nothing for dwarfs was enough to get Thorin's blood boiling and that anger had festered over the years and soon exploded into a vengeance he was sure Thranduil would never forget.

  
***

  
When he walked into the Library it was almost as if all the air had been taken from the room. He had waited so long to see Thranduil once more it was like a dream, he never would have thought his peoples suffering would give him such a gift. Thranduil looked exactly the same, beautiful long blonde hair, white skin, pink lips, and those beautiful lapis blue eyes that were now looking at him intently. He didn't look a day older than when they first meet, as was the magic of elves, beautiful and ethereal. Thorin still had the memory of tears streaming down his face, blood trails over various places on his naked body, bruises on pale flesh that trembled beneath his hands…looking at him now you would never think them to be the same being.

  
Thorin took a few steps forward glancing at the table which had been set with food and beverages but it seemed Thranduil had yet to touch anything laid before him. "Are you not hungry? Come let us discuss matters over some breakfast." Thorin said sitting down at the small table, looking at Thranduil expectantly.

  
Thranduil shook his head at Thorin. "I'll stand." He said softly, something inside him forced him to stay tense and alert, sitting down made him feel venerable…if he wished to escape this room, escape from Thorin he wanted to do so as easily as possible. "There is not much for us to discuss, you have my son I want him back, and there is nothing more to say." He said simply eyeing the food and drink with distaste, the last time he had accepted something from Thorin he had been drugged.

  
"You know I asked you here because we have a dire need for supplies, when you cut off trading with us you damaged us greatly…you also cut of communication, I wouldn't have taken your son if you had but answered my correspondence with you." Thorin huffed.

  
"You speak as if you are oblivious to why I did so in the first place." Thranduil growled. "I have no desire to help you, I would sooner see you all perish than oblige you in any way…however, you have leverage on the situation so I am willing to give you what you need to survive the winter. The supplies you need I will give you, and in return you give me my son and cease all attempts to communicate with us further." Thranduil said.

  
Thorin shook his head at Thranduil. "It's not enough." He stated. "Every winter we relied on your trade to survive, our supplies have been depleted severely, the food on this table was obtained at great cost and I will not release your child until we have agreed to terms and conditions for a new trade negotiation." He said firmly.

  
Thranduil looked away from Thorin. "I can't…you knew this would happen and yet you act so surprised by my actions regardless."

  
"I had no idea that this would happen!" Thorin yelled.

  
"No, you expected my people to suffer from the damaged you inflicted on my very soul! I told you that what you did could very well kill me in the end; I told you that it must be forgotten, if I am forced to communicate with you on a regular basis I will never forget! This situation alone is almost too much for me to bear, yet I am enduring it for my child…I am doing none of this for you or your people this is for Legolas and him alone." Thranduil said his head began to throb terribly from a deep reminder of his torture.

"Your carefully planned revenge had unexpected repercussions I understand, but it doesn't concern me…ultimately this situation is your fault." Thranduil said looking away from Thorin it pained him to even look upon this dwarf.

  
"Don't patronize me!" Thorin practically screamed. "I don't care what I did to you, I reveled in your pain and given the chance I would do nothing differently! You survived for your son, not because of your avoidance of me, maybe avoiding me helped your sanity but it wasn't that keeping you alive."

  
Thranduil swallowed as a coldness crept over him, it was more unsettling than he thought it would be, he had never spoke of what happened to him and now speaking about the fact with the very person who had done such a thing in the first place made it unbearably…real. This was what he was trying to avoid, not necessarily Thorin, just the confirmation that he had been violated so brazenly. It made his chest ache as he took a few steps away trying to breathe as a pressure seemed to increase from within making it difficult to catch his breath.

  
"You understand nothing." Thranduil gasped out a shiver rippling through his body forcing him to unconsciously wrap his arms around himself. "I guess it really doesn't matter that it was you, what matters most is that it happened at all, but regardless I am left with a desire to hurt you the way you have hurt me not in the same way mind you but it seems your people suffering so does quell this burning desire for revenge quite nicely…but I am willing to put it aside for now for one final trade with you and your people I cannot allow more than that to transpire."

  
"You are the one who doesn't understand, you think I damaged your soul? Think about what I could do to your son, it's only you and your guard here to protect him, you wouldn't find him in time, or be able to stop me." Thorin said.

  
Thranduil turned cold deadly eyes at Thorin. "You will not touch my child Thorin Oakensheild…I would not hesitate to wage war against you, and with your depleted supplies and weakened people I wouldn't expect many of you to be spared." He growled.

  
"A war would do no good, by the time you rallied your forces Legolas would be completely destroyed…I would allow a legion of dwarfs to enjoy him, I take it he has never laid with another, I got the impression that I was the first male you ever experienced as well…how sweet it would be the both the father and sons first." Thorin said a sneer forming on his lips.

  
In all honesty Thorin had no intention of hurting Legolas, he truly wished no harm to come to young prince, but he was leverage, and if Thranduil believed these empty threats all the better to get what he needed in the end.

  
"You will not touch him!" Thranduil screamed, the tightness in his chest increased as his eyes temporarily blacked out and he fell to his knees. He felt sick but he knew he was going to lose himself if he did not regain control and he didn't want Thorin to be a witness to his momentary madness.

  
Thorin narrowed his eyes at Thranduil, he was acting a bit strangely as if he was ill or something was creeping upon him, the tremble in his frame was not masked and he now was kneeling on the floor. "You are not nearly as intimidating as you once were…I wonder now if you would beg me considering that I hold the one thing you care for more than your own self." Thorin said. "Would you beg for his life? His purity?"

  
Thranduil looked up at Thorin momentarily, his consciousness sipping out of his grasp, Thorin didn't understand, Thranduil was trying to remain, these feuded states Thranduil kept falling into were not safe, he had no control over himself…he needed to leave, he didn't wish to make this situation worse.

  
He stood up and stumbled slightly toward the door almost making it but his arm was seized by Thorin and something inside Thranduil snapped as he whirled around backhanding Thorin as hard as he could across the face.

  
"Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me! What right do you think you have!? I cannot…" Thranduil gasped a he slumped against the door gripping his head, 'not now, please not now!' he though desperately but upon feeling Thorin' hand upon his arm again it sent his mind into chaos. However this was not the same as his feuded states, no he was completely aware of what he was doing but unable to stop it nonetheless.

  
"All your fault! This is all because of you…! You think because you have my son that if gives you the right to threaten me, to threaten him…! You're a fool!" Thranduil said in a low almost deathlike tone.

 

Thorin frowned. It was almost as if Thranduil wasn't speaking to him directly, more like he was talking to himself rather to anyone in particular. "Thranduil…"

  
"No, no, no, don't speak…I can't hear you, can't see you, you're not real…you're false so you cannot hurt me, cannot touch me…" Thranduil stood still gripping his head with one hand. "Can I hurt you though? If you are part of my fractured mind can I banish you away? if I remove you from my mind will I be granted some semblance of peace at long last?" Thranduil advanced on Thorin although Thorin quickly jumped from his reach.

  
"Have you completely lost your mind!?" Thorin yelled, what had happened to this elf? had he finally driven him over the edge with threatening his son in such a way? He put the table in between him and Thranduil.

  
Thranduil took the tables edge flipping it over completely as plates and glasses shattered upon the floor and food splattered in different directions; he passed a free standing mirror taking a moment's pause to look at himself. "I had shattered all the mirrors in my palace at least once, if not more…I hate my image." He growled slamming his fist into the mirror over and over until it cracked and fell into fragmented pieces on the floor. "This revolting and disturbed elf…trapped in these damned mirrors…I want so badly to escape from this pain, but you won't let me." Thranduil said his voice choking with tears. "Why won't you let me go?"

  
Thranduil fell to his knees the broken mirror and shattered dishes digging into his knees as he gripped the ground with his gloved hands. He looked at the gloves and slowly removed them. "Sending that robe to me was particularly cruel you know…I pressed the damned thing so hard into the fire I burnt myself rather badly, I loved that robe but you made it such a blatant symbol for what happened to me I had to destroy it…much the same way you destroyed me." Thranduil swallowed thickly. "Why won't you just kill me?" Thranduil looked at him with tear filled eyes. "Kill me any way you want Thorin, I would gladly die for my son if only to spare him the horror of what I have suffered…please." Thranduil said softly.

  
'What?' Thorin thought, did Thorin just hear him right? The situation was disturbing enough to Thorin so he barely registered Thranduil going to his knees and saying 'please' was he actually…begging? However his mind drifted to the burnt arms and hands, the bleeding knees, the pain filled voice…and those eyes, shinning lapis blue eyes so full of pain and suffering…so heartbreakingly beautiful as always, for some reason or another it actually pained him to see Thranduil like this. Which was odd, he had fantasized countless times about this beautiful suffering elf writhing beneath him…however with him now, with his true pain, Thorin didn't want to hurt him…he wanted to stop hurting him.

  
Thorin knelt in front of Thranduil, balancing on the balls of his feet so not to have broken glass digging into his own knees. "I need your help, and I need the trade routes reestablished…you don't have to directly deal with me or Erebor you can pass the responsibilities to the prince or one of your trusted advisors." Thorin reached out intending to touch Thranduil gently on the shoulder but at the flinch he drew his hand back."Is that at all acceptable? Any price you ask will be met."

  
Thranduil opened his mouth but no reply came out so he closed it and shook his head. "I will fade…I want to fade honestly, I would much rather slip into nothingness than sail to the Valior…Legolas is still so young., but it would be best for you and your people if I died, you would get the supplies and trade routes you wanted." Thranduil picked up a shard of glass and placed it in Thorin's hand and then against his own throat. "I won't take much, just a flick of your wrist and all my suffering and yours will end."

 

  
***

Thanks to all those who have given kudos and reviewed! They are apprechiated!


	5. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 5

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 5  
Chapter: 5 of 15  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: Thranduil finally confides his secret in his friend Aldewin and at long last a little weight has lifted off his shoulders and when Aldewin confronts Thorin both are forced to re-analyze their feelings where Thranduil is concerned.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Thanks to everyone who have given kudos and comments!

***

Thorin pulled away violently at the action, thankfully not hurting Thranduil in the process. He wouldn't kill Thranduil, for some reason it repulsed him at the mere thought of ending Thranduil's life…with the prospect of ending everything right then and there it disturbed him and he wouldn't do it, more so he couldn’t do it. Was this the end result of everything? Was this where his vengeance has leaded him, nothing more than a catalyst to end Thranduil's life once and for all?

  
When he had taken Thranduil against his will he knew that it could kill him but at the moment that hadn't bothered him in the least, he had actually wanted Thranduil to die…slowly and painfully he wanted this damned elf to fade into nothing. So why did he care now? Was it just the prospect of using his own two hands that disgusted him or was is something else? He never expected to see Thranduil so broken and miserable, he had been so prideful and headstrong the last time he saw him…but now he was not the same person anymore, and Thorin had done this to him this was ultimately his fault.

  
Thranduil turned his eyes back to Thorin's, those cold eyes that seemed to chill you to the very core of your being. "You know I really don't need you to do it, it would just be easier that way." Thranduil picked up another shard but before he could do anything he felt himself being lifted from the ground his wrist having been seized by a strong hand.

  
Thorin breathed sigh of relief upon seeing Thranduil's guard interrupt them, and stop Thranduil from hurting himself any further. He was surprised at how much Thranduil struggled with him, screaming at his guard to release him.

  
"Only one way! There is only one way! Let me go, I must make it stop!" He tried so hard to pull out of Aldewin's grasp but was unable to break his hold, Thranduil's hand still gripping the shard so hard blood began dripping from his clenched palm. However, Aldewin was ancient and much stronger than Thranduil which made his struggle futile but nonetheless didn't stop him.

  
"I cannot allow you to hurt yourself." Aldewin said through gritted teeth, although he was stronger than Thranduil it still pained him to be a witness to his own King wishing to kill himself, if he had waited one more moment he feared he would be holding his Kings lifeless body, he preferred this struggling one any day.

  
Aldewin gritted his teeth tightly when Thranduil began to dig his nails into his skin trying to break his hold drawing blood in his anger. Aldewin only tightened his hold on Thranduil, he could only wait for him to exhaust himself or come to his senses…last time Thranduil was this frantic Aldewin actually had to hit him hard enough to knock him unconscious, he hoped it wouldn't come to that doing it once in his lifetime was enough to give him millenniums of guilt over the matter. However he was so frantic it was becoming harder to hold him.

  
"This is all your fault Thorin! Did you delight so much in my anguish you wished to see more!" Thranduil screamed still trying out get out of Aldewin's grasp. "Was it not enough!?" He screamed until he felt an arm encircle his throat cutting off his air supply.

  
Aldewin closed his eyes and concentrated on Thranduil's breathing, he wasn't trying to kill him by any means but he could cut off his air long enough to make him pass out but not permanently harm him in the process. Aldewin hated doing this but Thranduil was volatile and he couldn't risk letting him go…it had to be done. Of course Thranduil fought him but it only lasted a few moments until he began to grow weaker as did his attack until his eyes closed and his body went limp. Aldewin instantly lessened his hold as Thranduil's unconscious body began to breathe swallows of air. Aldewin sighed relived he was able to diffuse the situation…at least for a moment. He picked Thranduil up as gently as possible.

  
He looked at Thorin who seemed somewhat dumbstruck of the situation at hand. "You must forgive this mishap King Under the Mountain. Our King had not been in the best health as of late…" Aldewin chose his words carefully he had no idea what the two spoke about although he did know something in this place caused the break.

  
"I…will he be all right?" Thorin asked and overwhelming sense of compassion overcoming him.

  
Aldewin looked at Thranduil's sleeping face. "I think so; I should take him to your medical ward, show me the way?" He asked as Thorin nodded and lead the way to the infirmary.

  
***

  
Thorin stood and silently watched the guard work on his King's various wounds, he refused to allow Thranduil to be touched by the dwarf healer, and he wasn't trying to be offensive simply that they were not as well versed in Elvin healing as he was and he would tend to his King. 'This elf Aldewin is very good with him' Thorin thought as he watched him mix different herbs and work them into the cuts and bruises Thranduil had obtained before wrapping them tightly with bandages. He didn't even pause when he removed Thranduil's breeches to gain aces to his bleeding knees, this elf really had no sexual interest in Thranduil and it actually put Thorin at ease considering he had thought earlier that the two were involved. Once the task was finished he mixed some ground herbs into a glass of water and although unconscious Thranduil still drank the contents some spilling but it seemed to be enough.

  
"You seem to know what you are doing. What was in the drink?" Thorin asked.

  
"A sleeping agent, he needs rest." Aldewin picked Thranduil up gently. "I am well versed in apothecary, not a healer necessarily but still better qualified than your own…not to offend." He said.

  
"None taken." Thorin took a step closer to Thranduil. "I do not believe our talks can commence with your King in such a state…are you qualified to continue them?" He asked.

  
"I was given that authority yes, but let us not be hasty, his majesty will wake tomorrow and we will see how he fares, until then I think it best this incident is forgotten," Aldewin said seriously.

  
"You seem unnaturally calm about all this…he was screaming at me that everything that was happening to him was my fault and yet you don't seem angry." Thorin said a little confused at the guards behavior.

  
"This has happened before, they are like feuded states he usually doesn't remember what was said or done, he screamed at me once as well telling me everything was my fault…whoever he was fighting it wasn't me he was seeing, I don't trust anything h says when he does this." Aldewin said gently lifting Thranduil back into his arms as he began to walk back to their quarters, looks like he would be sleeping in a chair again tonight.

  
***

  
Thorin went back to his own room his mind spinning from what had happened just an hour ago, Thorin himself was still trying to make sense of everything and he was hoping against all odds that Thranduil wouldn’t remember what was said and done. He hated to admit it but this guard Aldewin would be a dangerous liability if he ever learned to truth and Thorin would do everything in his power to keep that from happening.

  
Thorin stopped halfway to his room and turned around deciding to have a visit with Legolas, he needed more information on Thranduil’s state of mind, how broken he truly was…if possible was there some way to work this damage to his advantage? He didn’t like the idea of injuring the young prince nor did he enjoy having to confine him although it was unavoidable, he was almost sure that Legolas would not be very forthcoming with information given the situation but he needed to get as many facts as possible any detail might prove crucial to saving how own people.

  
***

  
Thorin dismissed the guards outside Legolas room, a little further away but close enough incase the young prince tried to escape. When he entered he wasn’t surprised by the venomous almost lethal stare directed straight at him. In that moment the defiance, the strength, the authority, he looked so much like his father it took him a moment before he remembered that this was Legolas not Thranduil.

  
“You have some nerve coming here…” Legolas growled. “I extended my hand in friendship and compassion; I was willing to do everything in my power to help you and your people, however…” Legolas stood to his full height glaring at Thorin. “You confine me to my room and force my father to deal in trade negotiations with you. Yet you refuse him the privilege of seeing me…I demand to see my father now.” He said sternly.

  
“Your father is in no condition to receive visitors right now…he had somewhat of a mental break during negotiations…what do you know of these feuded states?” Thorin asked almost casually as if he was commenting on the weather.

  
Legolas was confused for a moment. “Mental break? Is he all right? Is he injured?” Legolas asked frantically deeply concerned for his father worry overcoming him.

  
“He’s fine, a few cuts and bruises but relatively all right. His guard gave him a sleeping potion so he’ll probably be resting for the rest of the day.” Thorin said seeing a wash of relief cross Legolas’ features.

  
Legolas knew his father’s guard well, Aldewin, and he also knew that as long as Aldewin was breathing no harm would come to his father. But he wasn’t sure what Thorin was talking about, feuded states? He composed himself as looked sternly at Thorin. “I’m not sure what you are talking about, to my knowledge he has never lost himself and caused himself harm…” Legolas stopped for a moment remembering, but a few days ago his father was in the infirmary and refused to speak as to why, was that what happened?

Thranduil had destroyed his study and burned himself. “There was an incident a few days ago, he turned his study upside down, and for some reason he burned one of grandfathers robes hurting himself in the process…but I couldn’t tell you why.” Legolas said with a sigh.

  
‘Burned a robe?’ Thorin thought, it must have been Orophers robe that Thorin had sent back to him, he had sent it to hopefully generate a response so they might come to an agreement and trade once more…he hadn’t expected it to actually cause Thranduil any harm, he had cherished that robe so much he had actually allowed Thorin to kiss him, and yet he had burned it. “It appears your father has not been completely candid about his health with you…his mentality is cause for concern.” Thorin said.

  
“Let me see him, or let me or him go home, if he is truly ill he cannot continue theses negotiations anyway and without his approval I cannot validate anything.” Legolas said trying to reason with Thorin.

  
“His guard Aldewin was given authority to continue the talks and come to a suitable agreement, I am hopeful that all this will be resolved in time and both you and your father can go home…I understand that you are angry with me and I have shown you a great disrespect however I am hopeful you will forgive me, I had no other choice.”

  
“Of course you had a choice, there is always a choice!” Legolas yelled at him. “You were desperate and I understand that, you made a choice but you made the wrong one…” Legolas said turning his back to him, telling him without words their conversation was over.

  
“Try and be patient Prince Legolas, soon both you and your father will be free to go.” Thorin said leaving.

  
***

  
Thranduil felt something cool and wet against his forehead, his head hurt terribly so it was a welcomed soothe as he slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t remember coming back to his room…however he did remember his confrontation with Thorin, at least he thought he had a confrontation with him, he remembered bits and pieces of what happened, and it wasn’t a complete blank this time.

  
He spotted Aldewin across the room, he looked preoccupied but Thranduil spoke anyway. “Aldewin.” He said catching the others attention who approached him immediately.

  
“I thought you would sleep longer…how are you feeling?” Aldewin asked.

  
“Fine, I feel a little numb. Thranduil said. “How did I get here?” He asked.

  
“I think you had a lapse in you meeting with Thorin, when I heard the raised voices I checked to make sure everything was all right, yet you had hurt yourself again…” Aldewin paused he wasn’t going to readily admit to Thranduil he had cut off Thranduil’s air supply so he would pass out.

  
“I remember some of what happened this time…” Thranduil said sitting up in bed. “I simply didn’t remember coming here.” He went over to the bureau and dressed himself in more appropriate clothes not caring that Aldewin was there or not.

  
Aldewin looked at Thranduil confused. “You remember?” He asked. “If you recall maybe you could help me to understand what happened?” He said through gritted teeth.

Thranduil had tried to kill Thorin, it was a mere miracle that Aldewin managed to stop him in time, it made sense if Thranduil was not in control of his actions but he immediately stated that he was at least somewhat aware.

  
Thranduil looked at Aldewin who appeared deeply upset, he rarely saw his stoic guard expressive, yet at this instant he didn’t have the ability to be emotionally moved by the situation. “…I wanted it to stop…” Thranduil said turning to meet Aldewin’s gaze. “How long has it been now? The long hours in deep meditation which I have increased over time, these feuded states which have become more violent and frequent, my inability to form any type of relationship friendship or otherwise not counting the friends I have lost…a little over three years Aldewin and I know you have noticed how much I have changed.” Thranduil paused for a moment. “I do not like this person whom I have become, I am exhausted with the pretense that everything is all right that everything will be fine because it simply isn’t, and nothing has been okay for years…it was foolish of me to think that I would be.”

  
Aldewin wanted to approach Thranduil but stayed where he was, not wanting to set Thranduil off by accident. “So you meant everything you said to Thorin, that it was his fault? He caused you some type of anguish?” Aldewin asked studying his Kings face but not seeing any type of emotion or reaction. “Three years ago was the celebration of Erebor which you had attended, you had come home early without your entourage, cut off all ties with Erebor about the same time as well…if Thorin is really the cause, whatever happened it took place then.” Aldewin said, he wanted to know what happened but he didn’t wish to ask anymore than he already had.

  
Thranduil looked away from Aldewin. “Why do you want to know so badly? Do you think I would help me in some way?” Thranduil shrugged. “You might be right, after all keeping it inside has had some dire consequences to my mentality, attempting murder and suicide a prime example of that…” Thranduil paused momentarily.

  
“Oh, now I remember you stopped me from that, you also strangled me until I passed out. I suppose it was a more appealing alternative to hitting me.” Thranduil said with slight tilt of his head.

  
“I am sworn to protect you, even if that means protecting you from yourself.” Aldewin stated simply prepared to do whatever it took to defend Thranduil’s life at all and any cost. “You seem much better now than before.” Aldewin said despite himself, trying to defend his actions regardless.

  
“I understand…I want to hurt him, I want him to suffer as he has made me suffer. The fate that he and his people are facing now does not quell this need it’s almost to the point where I would allow his people to perish if only to see the anguish upon his face.” Thranduil said his tone taking on a darker passion than Aldewin had ever heard before.

  
Aldewin did approach Thranduil at this point. “I would not try and prevent you from vengeance.” He paused. “That’s what this is all about isn’t it? You are merely trying to rectify the wrongs committed against you; I will not stand in your way of that.”

  
Thranduil nodded slowly to the statement Aldewin made. “He tried to kill me at that celebration…he hated me for abandoning his people to Smuag, and for something I said before Erebor fell, it must had festered over time so much that it was simply too agonizing and he lashed out. He didn’t hold a blade to my throat or a knife to my back, he sought to kill me in a slowest and most painful was he could imagine…he thought a quick death was not befitting of a King, that I deserved a long drawn-out struggle so he scared my soul so deeply…there are few things that can actually kill an elf…he knew that raping me was the best way to get the results he wanted.” Thranduil said leaning against the nearby wall but refusing to make eye contact with Aldewin.

  
Aldewin went ridged when he heard what his King said. He had finally confessed what had happened to him, finally confronted the pain he and suffered and allowed someone else to know…but he didn’t look better for it in fact he looked worse. “You should have told me Thranduil, told someone what was the point in keeping silent about this for so long?”

  
“Self preservation.” He said simply turning to look into the jet-black eyes of his guard. “If I came to terms with this I feared it would ultimately kill me, I wanted it to be forgotten so I could continue with my life and to not burden my child with early kingship as I was…I don’t know if I can survive like this much longer.” Thranduil voice choked with tears that he refused to let fall. “I couldn’t forget.”

  
“You having survived thus far is proof that this will not destroy you, this is merely the next stage in you healing which is admitting that this had happened and confronting the one who hurt you…you denied it for so long now it’s time to accept it.” Aldewin said.

  
“And what am I to do? I won’t forgive him, I can’t do that.” Thranduil said shaking his head ‘no’ “He still has my son too, I cannot stand the thought of Legolas being hurt because of me but he wants so much from Mirkwood too much and I don’t want to be forced to interact with him…I want him out of my life since I cannot seem to push him out of mind.”

  
“I don’t think he will hurt Legolas, not really, if he was going to injure the prince I’m sure with the recent event he would have already…true they are using him as a type of leverage but I believe he is safe.” Aldewin said taking one step closer to Thranduil being cautious with his King. “I’m not so sure we have any other option than for now to grant his requests for aid, I understand your position Thranduil, not many would want to interact with someone who caused so much pain but for now I believe its unavoidable…granting his request would not be for him but for his people and for your son.” Aldewin said.

  
“If I grant these requests I believe he would abuse my generosity, honestly I only want my son back and I have no desire to trade with him further, Erebor should have prepared for this type of famine…Thorin burned his bridge with Mirkwood, why must I be the one to rebuild it?” Thranduil grit out.

  
Aldewin let out a sigh, he wasn’t sure what to say to Thranduil at this point, he didn’t want to bombard him with questions or know the details of his assault but he seemed coherent enough to take whatever steps necessary to finish this. “I need your word that you will never try something so foolish again, if I need to watch you constantly I will.” He said.

  
Thranduil glanced at Aldewin momentarily. “Confronting Thorin was more difficult than even I anticipated, and being so close to him forced everything I have been denying myself to feel to resurface all at once and it overwhelmed me …you have my word.” Thranduil said looking toward his chamber door knowing he had to see Thorin again whether or not he wanted to.

  
“Deliver a message to Thorin that I wish to meet him here…and that I apologize for my earlier actions.” Thranduil said sitting down near the fireplace.  
“Very well…do you wish for me to stay by your side during this?” Aldewin asked before leaving.

  
“…No, I think it best I do this by myself.” Thranduil had hesitated but he still believed what he said.

  
***

  
Thorin was in his study when he was informed Aldewin had a message from his King. He was a little surprised that Thranduil even wanted to see him but he could not mistake the hate and anger emanating from his guard nor disregard it. He looked at Aldewin curiously for a moment before he asked.

  
“You seem rather hostile toward me at the moment, you behavior from earlier toward me has certainly changed.” Thorin said standing.

  
Aldewin clenched his fists doing his best to contain his anger and not lash out at the King. “Were we not here in this mountain and we had met upon neutral ground I would challenge you to reclaim my King’s honor.” He grit out.

  
Thorin was surprised, had Thranduil finally let someone know the secret? “King Thranduil has lost no honor to me regardless of what has happened between us. I wanted to reduce him to make him beg but he never yielded never begged…he never faltered, never wavered in his conviction. I gained nothing and he remained.” Thorin said using a deep foreboding tone.

  
“You think your actions didn’t affect him?” Aldewin said in disbelief. “How can you say that after what you witness but a few hours ago? He is miserable and you are the reason for all of it, the only reason he is still pushing forward is because of Legolas…I implore you to release the young prince or allow the simple grace of allowing him to see his child has not been harmed, it will ground him and allow these demands of yours to be met with more ease.”

  
“I know well enough that child is his anchor to this land, but he is also my only leverage so I cannot release him yet not until I ensure my line can I return his.” Thorin said.  
“He will not be very forthcoming, he remembers much that he said to you and did…most of the time he doesn’t but before he attacked you I’m sure your talks did not end well and he remembers.” Aldewin said.

  
Thorin looked at Aldewin for a moment, those shinning black eyes seeming to bore into his soul and they burned with such an intense anger it made Thorin curious. “You love him, don’t you?” He said seeming to startle the guard, that impassive mask fall but it was only for moment. “There really is no need to become jealous.”

  
Aldewin growled. “I’m not jealous, and regardless of what you think I am not in love with him either. He is my King and I do hold him in close regard as a friend but I’m not in love with him…and even if I was what matter would it hold in you?” Aldewin asked wondering what prompted such an accusation.

  
“I’ve often been curious if your race is even capable of love, sometimes I think I hate Thranduil so much for everything he has done that it’s turned into some kind of twisted love for him.” Thorin shook his head. “I have permanently ruined any type of relationship with him, I realize that, but I still hope that a political relationship might still be possible…if you care for him as much as you claim to then I hope you might b able to convince him that if he wishes to see Legolas again a new trade agreement is in his best interest.” Thorin said about to leave but turned to Aldewin once more before he left.

  
“I might be blind to exactly how I feel about Thranduil…it’s such a thin line between love and hate and I believe it even possible to feel both at the same time. I have no intention to hurt him like I did so many years ago, I would never dare, but it seems your King has his heart set on hurting me…he hates me and I know that."

"But it is a Very. Thin. Line.” Thorin said punctuating the last few words before walking away.

 

***

Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	6. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 6

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 6  
Chapter: 6 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: The trade agreement between Thorin and Thranduil is discussed in more detail with stipulations and rules; Thranduil still wishing to never come in contact with Thorin again after the business is concluded. Thorin realizes that he is still in love with Thranduil, while Aldewin and Thranduil realize they love each other.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: I managed to squeeze a little Thorinduil into this chapter I hope it works for everyone!

  
***

  
Thranduil waited patiently for Thorin to arrive, he knew the Dwarf King would not delay too long; the invitation alone would supply enough curiosity to compel him to visit.

Thranduil actually felt lighter than before, his heart was not as heavy or his chest as tight…he was still angry of course considering Thorin was still holding his son hostage. And of course he still felt a great apprehension at being alone with Thorin, but he was fairly certain Thorin would not attempt a second assault, at least not when his people’s lives were in jeopardy. Thranduil still only remembered some of what he said and did while with Thorin and he hoped that he had not said or done anything to agitate the situation more than it already was.

  
The doors to his room opened loudly and then closed as Thorin presented himself in a manner only befitting of a King as he approached Thranduil but did not come closer than arms length. “You seem in a more clear state of mind now, have you rethought my earlier proposal?” He asked seemingly willing to forget what happened in the study.

  
“I meant everything I said to you in that study, that re-opening trade will affect me negatively and possibly make things more difficult than you anticipate…but I also realize that if I deny your request you will not return my son to me as requested unless I do exactly that, while I have reconsidered my earlier answer there will be limits to this trade that I cannot negotiate.” He said firmly willing to compromise there really was no other option he had at this point.

  
“What will these limitations be?” Thorin asked skeptically.

  
“When I cut off ties with Erebor I branched out to my own kin in Lothlorien and Imladris, all of my trading for goods and services has been with them, our relations are sensitive at this time so I have been somewhat overly generous with my shipments as a gesture of good faith. You must understand that they will receive the best crops and supplies I have to offer, and they will receive it first…Erebor will be a secondary option at all times I will have to see to the needs of my kin before yours.” Thranduil paused seeing a rather displeased expression on Thorin’s face but continued. “In light of you plight during this time I will provide you with everything you need and I will provide you the best we have to offer, my kin will understand this but after this…famine has ceased and your economy is back to a more stable state then trading will reduce and will not be as abundant. I cannot completely disregard the new trading with my kin in favor of Erebor, if I could avoid you completely I would.” Thranduil said turning his back to Thorin while still keeping an eye on him.

  
Thorin growled, it was quite less than he wanted but still it was progress. “I will agree to these terms but with a small stipulation to re-negotiate at a later date…Mirkwood is a very valuable partner that we lost, it will take time to establish trading with our own kin and the race of men, we need your help until other options have been established.” Thorin said.

  
Thranduil thought for a moment then nodded “Very well…my stipulation is that you never contact me directly, you never make the attempt to see me or gain an audience with me, *you* will keep your distance from *me*. I don’t ever what to hear from you personally ever again after this, I will leave full authority to my son who is more than capable of carrying out these duties…and if you ever once mention what happened between us to anyone, even if it is said by someone other than yourself , if that…incident is somehow leaked and it become public knowledge it will not only be trading that will be destroyed, I will wage war on this mountain…and I will end my life after I see yours ended.”

Thranduil paused for a moment. “You simply don’t understand the repercussions of your actions that day, you made such a tiny ripple that grew to monumental proportions, so large you had no idea how to handle them…and personally neither do I.” Thranduil said softly.

  
“This seems to be the first step in dealing with it…” Thorin walked around a bit looking at Thranduil intently as he did so, he still couldn’t get over how much he had changed and yet stayed the same, he was perfectly flawless on the outside, but on the inside he was completely different. “You needn’t have any further contact with me beyond this point but do you think it wise to do so? Your guard told me of these feuded states you keep having…” Thorin was cut off.

  
“Those are your fault! I have more anger and pain than I can express, I want to hurt you to scar your soul as you did mine, but I can’t! You’ve managed to seal yourself from my wrath and thirst for vengeance but nonetheless it needed some type of escape, one that I was not able to abide so it bypassed me completely.” Thranduil turned to face him fully. “I’ve been wondering why you sent me my father’s robe, you kept my crown and my rings…yet you returned the robe, why would you purposely send me a reminder of that day why do you continually want to hurt me?”

  
“I needed to generate some type of response from you, anything to get you to respond to our correspondents and letters…I wasn’t supposed to hurt you, I had hopes that you actually wanted to have that robe back, it surprised me that you would actually burn it. You risked your own well being so that I wouldn’t destroy it.” Thorin said.

  
“At the time I didn’t want it destroyed…but it proved itself nothing but folly in the end, a blatant reminder of what you did to me and nothing more, I couldn’t tolerate it so I destroyed it.” Thranduil paused for a moment. “I destroyed a lot of things, mirrors, my journals, many other robes that had nothing to do with you at all, I’ve broken furniture, and turned rooms completely upside down and the most terrible thing is I don’t even remember doing these things…but I remember most of my fight with you, maybe for once I was actually attacking the source.”

  
“Does it make you feel better?” Thorin asked looking at Thranduil intently. “Did assaulting me make your stress lessen any, make you feel good for the first time in what I’m sure has been a long time.” Thorin asked.

  
Thranduil wasn’t sure how it made him feel, in all honesty his mind was so lost during the time he couldn’t very well justify his actions so how was he supposed to feel? “You think it would make me feel good?” Thranduil shook his head at Thorin a look of pity in his eyes. “I’m not you Thorin, I’m nothing like you and I never will be…I simply cannot derive pleasure from hurting someone else no matter how much I might want to and how much they deserve it and don’t think it would make me feel *good* if I happened to give them what is due.”

  
Thranduil paused for a few minutes. “I do want some type of retribution for the wrongs you committed against me Thorin…I can think of a million different ways of making you pay for what you have done but do not make the mistake of thinking that any of these things will make me feel good…nothing can heal what you have done and I want that guilt to wrack your soul and suffer like I do.” Thranduil said.

  
Thorin scoffed at this. “You think I feel guilty for what I did? I don’t, I can’t…you taught me that a King must be absolute in all his decisions and actions without a thought thereafter, like when you insulted me so long ago, abandoned my people to the fire and dragon rage, imprisoned me and my people in your dungeon…you feel no remorse for all of that, why should I feel guilty for my *one* act of violence?” Thorin said.

  
Thranduil narrowed his eyes at Thorin. “For all my transgressions against you there is no comparison between them!” Thranduil yelled angrily. “You can try and defend what happened all you like but there is no justification to be had! This is what makes you so insufferable! Why I cannot have contact with you, why I tried so hard to forget, why I keep of having the lapses in my memory…!” Thranduil trailed off a bit of tears stinging the back of his eyes as the all too familiar tight sensation in his chest returned and his head began to throb. He couldn’t seem to stay calm for long when Thorin was near despite his attempts.

  
Thranduil took a few deep breaths trying to stave off his anger and pain, also not get into another fight with Thorin yet again. “Draw up a contract…once read I will sign and you will give me back my son, there is no further need for us to correspond face to face ever again after this.” Thranduil said without looking at Thorin.

  
Thranduil never wanted to see Thorin again, he decided that long ago, and this forced interaction was almost too much for his psyche to bear although in some ways it did lessen his stress it also left him with this sickly sensation of being violated all over again considering he was practically being forced to come to terms with it all at long last.

  
Thorin sighed. “I’ll have the contract by the morning; I’ll be waiting for you in my study when you are ready come by to sign…you’ll get your son back as soon as our first trade shipment comes in, think of it as a gesture of good faith.” Thorin said.

  
Thranduil growled at the fact Thorin still would not allow him his child back until he received physical tangible aid, he would not even grant him the option to see Legolas until he was absolutely positive their agreement would be honored. It was insulting to Thranduil that Thorin thought so little of him that he believed he would break a written contract, which he would never do so matter who it was with, he had given his word and he would not go back on it.

***

  
Thorin went back to his study and gave specific orders and instructions on the written contract which would be the binding force to keep trading with Mirkwood a continuous supply partner. He spoke with his council for hours and he made sure that every draft was read carefully and worded specifically so no mistake or ambiguity could be used as a way to discontinue the agreement, it was very late when Thorin was finally satisfied with what had been the final draft as he sent it to a calligraphy artist to placed upon official parchment and make it a certified contract document. He had to make sure that Thranduil’s word would be honored, the contract was simply a formality in all honesty but imprinted with the Kings seal which forced a more amicable agreement when signed. Thorin couldn’t risk there be any room for the contract to be voided, he had to be certain so the famine plaguing his people would never happen again.

  
Thorin sighed deeply as he went to his bedroom and sat down heavily upon the feather mattress it sinking below his weight as he relaxed a little into the coverlets. He hadn’t realized until that point how tense he was, the tension in his body melted away when he was freed of the constant concern for his people’s lives. The supplies would be sent and they would survive the winter, it might take a year before their economy would be stable once more but the threat of their lives was no longer a concern. All that needed to be done now was receive the first shipment and send Thranduil and the other elf’s back home and from there he could focus on his own once more. Thorin retired to his bed with the hopes of a dreamless sleep.

  
***

  
Thorin spent a good portion of the night tossing and turning seemingly unable to find rest, things didn’t progress with Thranduil as he had hoped they would. His first duty was toward his people but now that the initial threat of starvation had been taken care of he had hoped to approach Thranduil. Not approach him intimately, Thorin was unsure in what capacity he wished to advance with Thranduil in all honesty…but now it was impossible for he had promised to never seek contact directly with him again, never see him again, never speak with him, never be granted any form of communication…never have any chance with him in any capacity ever again.

  
Thorin threw off the bed covers and rose going to the washroom unable to find sleep as he originally hoped as he quickly bathed and after placing a heavy robe on went toward his balcony thinking some fresh air might do him good. But as soon as he stepped out onto the landing he felt his breath caught in his throat at the figure that awaited him.

  
Thorin stood in awe at the beautiful elf standing upon his balcony bathed in the moonlight and shining like the stars in the sky, skin as white as milk, a sheer silken robe wrapped around his lithe form and lapis blue eyes offset by his dark eyebrows and thick eyelashes, hair like pale honey spilled across his shoulders and flowing down his back…his beauty never ceased to amaze Thorin. He had always been captivated by that beauty so ethereal in its natural ease that Thorin had always thought he could acquire such a grace but he never could, so possessing one of them seemed the most logical course of action instead. Thranduil was that grace which he hoped to possess.

  
He made the motion to speak but soft fingertips placed themselves on his lips telling him without words, that now was not the time to speak. The soft fingers slowly traced the outline of his mouth slowly tracing his neckline before resting on the back of his head gently stroking his wavy hair.

  
Thorin didn’t hesitate to embrace Thranduil, pulling the elf to his knees so their height would be more evenly matched, upon his knees Thranduil actually had to look up to Thorin for once. Thorin cupped that beautiful face and kissed him gently upon the lips, he brushed his fingers across the flawless smooth skin and pulled him closer to his body…but it was gentle not forceful, he was not angry or aggressive with his actions, if anything they were timid motions and curious exploration. It was almost as if he was touching him for the first time and everything was new and exciting in this moment. Thranduil was not resisting this to Thorin’s amazement as he grew bolder and pulled him closer until they were flush against one another.

  
That beautiful mouth moving against his own, those soft lips parting ever so slightly as he was allowed the privilege to delve inside and taste that thick milk and sweet honey once more. This experience was divine; he craved this more than he thought possible. To have Thranduil so easily submit to him, the silken robe falling off his shoulders as he was laid bare to Thorin, the soft moonlight their only illumination. Thorin slowly began to shed his own clothing as Thranduil leaned forward to kiss the newly exposed skin, the soft lips and the occasional heat of his tongue was driving Thorin to the brink of insanity, this was true bliss, he knew in this exact moment that this is what he wanted from Thranduil, not to force him as he had years ago but to have him willingly in his arms, to have this elf want him…the same as Thorin wanted him.

  
He threaded his fingers through the silken strands of Thranduil’s hair as the elf continued to lavish sweet kisses all over his body moving lower until he felt a pair of soft moist lips kiss the tip of his arousal and beautiful shinning lapis blue eyes looked up at Thorin, earnestly pleading for permission to please him. Thorin silently nodded to the request as his ears heard the sweetest words spoken like a breath of wind.

  
“Thank-you”

  
The wet heat that enveloped his arousal forced him to moan in pure pleasure. The beautiful naked elf on his hands and knees, servicing Thorin’s hard member, outside on this balcony, where anyone could view the skeptical, it was all so exciting and stimulating. Thranduil’s tongue wrapped around the shaft in his mouth gently sucking and taking Thorin deeper and deeper until he was able to take him fully to the hilt, moaning deeply at the achievement which sent soft yielding vibrations through Thorin’s shaft. It was a marvelous experience to have Thranduil so willing, this elf wanted to service him wanted to please him and Thorin wanted to let him do exactly that.

  
“Let me have you, even if it is only for this one night...let me be with you.” Thorin pleaded kissing Thranduil on the lips passionately.

  
Thranduil reluctantly let the hardened member slip from his lips as he turned around presenting himself to Thorin to be used. “Please take me, use me for your pleasure…please.” The charming pleading words pure ecstasy to Thorin’s ears.

  
Thorin didn’t hesitate to push Thranduil down onto his stomach and straddle his waist, hastily widening the creamy thighs and grasping the fair round globes of his buttocks spreading them open for his entry. The tight rosebud twitched in anticipation and Thorin pressed forward the head of his arousal breaking through the tight ring of muscles tearing out a cry of pleasure from Thranduil and a moan of enjoyment from Thorin.

  
It seemed as if no preparation was needed, probably due to Thorin’s shaft previously been in Thranduil’s mouth, but he dismissed the thought entirely and thrust forward. Thranduil’s body was tight and so very inviting as he picked up his pace and he could hear the sweet cries of pleasure and soft mewls pouring from Thranduil’s lips as he writhed and twisted underneath Thorin in delight.

  
Thorin wished he could spend the entire night making love to Thranduil but he knew he couldn’t last much longer as he pulled Thranduil to his hands and knees while continuing to thrust his hips as he reached underneath Thranduil’s body grasping his member and began to stroke him in time with his own rocking.

  
Thorin leaned close to Thranduil’s delicately pointed ear. “Reach satisfaction with me; let us reach our completion as one.” He breathed heavily as Thranduil shakily nodded his head in agreement.

  
It did not take long before he felt a tremble ripple through Thranduil’s frame as his body tightened signaling he was close as Thorin made a few more expert strokes a he himself rose to the occasion and they simultaneously released, their cries of orgasm filling the night as they collapsed together in a tangle of arms and legs simply gazing at one another longingly.

  
Thorin smiled and was about to speak but at that moment Thranduil turned his face away rolling over on his side, his back to the dwarf. Thorin looked at him confused. What was wrong? Had Thranduil not come here of his own free will? Had he not wanted this, and if so why did he allow it to continue, why not put a stop to it?

  
“What is wrong?” He asked sitting up from his position, he reached out to touch Thranduil but quickly drew his hand away, his eyes widening in shock at what he was now seeing.

Sickly yellow and blue bruises began to form on the once flawless skin. They began to litter his back and show dominantly on his hips his ribs. Cuts soon became visible on his arms and wrists as blood slowly began to pour from the wounds, a sudden smear of blood appearing between Thranduil’s legs. His hair became dull and matted, clear trails of tears marred that beautiful face, his lips cut and swollen. Scratch and bite marks upon his chest and neck. Thorin was so horror stricken he couldn’t seem to move as the elf slowly sat up to meet his gaze.

  
“This…this isn’t real.”He whispered as the elf looked at him puzzled.

  
“Yes it is.” Thranduil said softly. “This happened the last time you touched me, you brought nothing but ruin to my body and nearly destroyed my sanity completely. You know this you understand it too and although you know how much pain you caused me you still seek me out so desperately…but you offer me nothing but *this*” Thranduil said staring into Thorin’s eyes intently. “You remember even revere it somewhat, in the deepest most secluded place of your mind you know you should simply leave me be…I implore you to do exactly that.” Thranduil pleaded with Thorin. “Do what you know to be right.”

  
The elf disappeared from Thorin’s sight as he jolted awake in bed. Thorin’s breath was coming in heavy gasps and it took him a good few minutes before he managed to get his breathing back under control. Once he had managed to calm himself down he fell back into his bed the strange dream confusing him, it had started out so wonderful yet it turned into such a disturbing reality…and although he knew it was a dream he still found himself contemplating what Thranduil had said. He wanted Thorin to leave him alone, to simply stay away from Thranduil…but that notion truly bothered Thorin, he still held a desire to see the elf, no matter the consequences of that.

  
Could he do what was right? Could he force himself to stay away from Thranduil? The dream had been so wonderful to have Thranduil willingly be with him and any and all thoughts of controlling the elf had vanished and he was left with an overpowering desire to hold Thranduil like a lover would not as he had those few years ago…he was wrong, he had deeply wounded Thranduil and if possible wished to make some type of amends to help heal this elf in some way. Even if Thranduil never accepted him, it was worth trying.

 

***

  
Thranduil sat curled up upon his bed, Aldewin had come to check up on him not long after Thorin had left, Thranduil was grateful for the distraction, his mind and his heart felt as if they were in a vice…but somehow Aldewin had a soothing effect on him, probably because Thranduil felt safe with Aldewin near and even with Thranduil’s apprehension at its peak, Aldewin could always calm him. He felt the heat of Aldewin’s hand come up to brush away a stray tear that managed to escape, he said nothing though which was a blessed release to Thranduil. Aldewin now knew the secret he had been harboring so long, so no explanation was needed about his strange behavior and mood swings, his feuded states, everything was now clear, he wouldn’t have to clarify how or why with Aldewin he knew and it somehow made things easier.

  
“He said a treaty will be drawn up by morning, and all I need to do is sign it and my son will be returned to me.” Thranduil said leaning against Aldewin somewhat. “We will probably be forced to wait until some shipments arrive before he will return Legolas…he should believe my word that supplies will be sent, I have never deceived him before.” Thranduil said.

  
“He is forced to be careful with you, considering your history with one another he has no choice but to be overly cautious.” Aldewin allowed his arms to pull Thranduil a little closer to embrace him gently. “I’m not defending his actions, I simply understand it.”

  
Thranduil relaxed in the warmth that his friend offered at the moment, the embrace was so welcoming and sincere, and he wanted to simply lose himself in this gentle warmth. He stayed like he was leaning against the strong broad chest, Aldewin’s rich baritone voice reassuring him in all aspects of himself, that all would be well which was exactly what Thranduil needed to hear, needed to believe.

  
He felt Aldewin’s lips gently press against his forehead. Thranduil remembered those soft lips from the one night he had shared with Aldewin, warm sweet kisses bestowed upon him seemingly endless from a night that was barely a distant memory. He could feel the brush of Aldewin’s hot breath across his neck which made him shiver slightly; he truly hated how weak he was to his own selfish body’s reaction to the proximity of their bodies, specifically with someone he had such a close relationship with. It had been very long since he had felt a desire for anyone, the thought had never crossed his mind he might as well have been impotent, never even enjoying his own touch much less someone else’s…so why now?

  
The night Aldewin and Thranduil shared was never meant to be repeated, but would it be so terrible if it was? Thranduil couldn’t resist the silent question as he pulled on the lapels of Aldewin’s tunic to bring him down for a soft bush of the lips. The last time Thranduil had kissed him he had been equally surprised, but he wasn’t nearly as resistant to the proposal as before. Strong arms embraced him tighter and encircled Thranduil’s waist as the gentle brush of lips deepened between the two into the same passionate kiss he had loved from his faithful protector, his mentor, his friend…would it be so terrible if he loved him?

  
Thranduil wished he could accept Aldewin’s kindness, accept this comfort, but he feared it would be nothing but a mistake so he pulled away from him. It wasn’t so much that he wasn’t fond of Aldewin, Aldewin was noble and a great warrior and a more than a wonderful friend…so how could he possibly shame him by wanting him? His life his body was tainted, his didn’t wish his own shame and humiliation to stain Aldewin as well. It wasn’t fair; he never should have kissed him! Thranduil was caught up in his own turmoil he barely heard the soft apology from Aldewin and it made him look at Aldewin shocked.

  
“What?” Thranduil asked wanting to make sure he heard him right.

  
“I apologize.” Aldewin said taking a step back. “You’re upset and distressed with all the happenings as of late, I should have been so presumptuous to think you would actually want…” Aldewin trailed off shaking his head. “I’m sorry; it won’t happen again I swear.” Aldewin himself had been surprised that Thranduil had kissed him but the sweet temptation was almost unbearable and he couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him back, but as soon as Thranduil pulled away he knew it had been a mistake, he was simply caught up in the moment.

  
“Don’t apologize…why do you always do that, you blame yourself for something I instigated, if I didn’t want to kiss you I wouldn’t have.” Thranduil said looking away from Aldewin. “I didn’t stop because I didn’t want it…you are too kind and I’d rather not take advantage of you.”

  
Aldewin softened a little. “I could never allow that to happen, regardless of my devotion to you I still have my pride. I did kiss you back after all…” He knelt in front of Thranduil. “Was it awful?” He asked leaning closer to Thranduil allowing his breath to mingle with Thranduil’s. “You taste exactly like I remember, warm lips and sweet breath with a passion as thick as milk and as sweet as honey…I never forgot, nor did I allow it to ruin us and what we have.” He whispered gently into Thranduil’s ear his lips gently bushing against it every so often.

  
“I would ruin you…I am damaged, spoiled, it is not fair to embrace me out of kindness and comfort as before. I need more than that, I want more than that and it is simply too much and too selfish of me to bring shame upon you.” Thranduil said hiding his face in his hands. He couldn’t withstand a fleeting night of passion with Aldewin once more, this was different he needed a more stable support. His heart and mind desperately craved to be loved and to be healed from all the damage he had suffered, but he couldn’t bear to take even more from Aldewin than he already had.

  
“You are not ruined.” Aldewin said strongly. “Beautiful even with any imperfection you think you might have, do not think me so shallow to not see your true self…allow me to be more for you, be everything you need, this feeling could never be shameful.” Aldewin paused for a moment to look into Thranduil’s eyes, polished black meeting lapis blue.

“Tell me it feel’s wrong and I will say no more…but if it feels right why can we not explore this emotion together?”

  
Thranduil felt tears well in his eyes, how is it that this noble elf cared so much for him? Aldewin knew the secret that Thranduil had harbored for so long and yet he still wanted to be here beside him, wanted to be what Thranduil needed…could he truly be Thranduil’s everything?

  
“Could you love me? Do not answer too quickly.” Thranduil said placing his fingertips on Aldewin’s lips. “It is not something to be taken lightly, I cannot have my heart broken, and I need it mended…it will not be easy, for either of us, I trust you…but I still fear losing you regardless.” Thranduil said.

  
Aldewin smiled and gently kissed Thranduil’s fingertips. “You ask such ridiculous questions sometimes Thranduil… how could I not love you? I always have and always will. You will never lose me no matter what the world has in store for us in the future, I will be by your side through it all…it is a privilege to love you, I gladly pledge my heart to you Thranduil Oropherion. I am yours now and always.”

  
Thranduil let a few happy tears slip down his cheeks his hear filling with such a joyful emotion he at first wasn’t sure what he was feeling it had been so long since he had been so happy. He embraced Aldewin in a loving hold.”And I to you Aldewin Orionion, I am yours now and always.”

 

***

 

Thanks so much to everyone for reading and commenting! They are greatly appreciated!


	7. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 7

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 7  
Chapter: 7 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: Thorin overhears the declaration of love between Aldewin and Thranduil and is overcome with rage and jealousy and decides he cannot simply allow Thranduil to slip away from him again. He decides to take a more drastic measure to get what he wants, and when Thranduil offers to stay in Erebor to keep Legolas safe, Thorin agrees.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: To all my readers I am looking for a beta for this fiction and I would really appreciate anyone willing to help, it’s always beneficial to have someone review my work and give me a few pointers and point out some mistakes I’m sure to make along the way, if anyone is interested please feel free to contact me via email or on my comment page, Thank you for reading!

  
***

  
Thorin was unable to fall asleep after the appalling nightmare he had with Thranduil. It still left him with the awful sense of guilt that he had yet to feel toward his actions until recently. It was a strange emotion, as a King Thorin refused to regret anything, he felt to be the strong King his people needed he had to be absolute in all his actions and decisions which left no room for guilt or regret…but he was unable to shake the feeling which made him reflect a little more on the night than he ever cared to.

  
He had wanted to hurt him, to make him repent and apologize for all the wrongs he had committed against him and his kin, it had been a selfish vendetta and Thorin knew that but in the moment he could think of nothing but making the arrogant elf kneel before him and yield…but he had refused, Thranduil was so adamant to never submit and he stayed true to that conviction. However, he was different now he was cautious and guarded he wouldn’t allow Thorin to close, that vibrant light that Thorin was so fascinated and awe struck with was not nearly as effervescent as before. It took some time before Thorin realized that although it seemed as if he achieved nothing that night, for while Thranduil never yielded, he had damaged the King greatly. Thorin sighed as he walked to his chamber door and decided that Thranduil had suffered enough and the scar Thorin implemented so deeply upon his soul would probably never heal. Enough was enough; he would return Legolas to him promptly.

  
Thorin knew how late into the night it was but he was also fairly certain that Thranduil would not mind being woken if he was allowed to see his child. He still could not release Legolas, not until he was positive that the requested shipments arrived, but a gesture of good faith on his part might go a long way and smooth the road to recovery once Thranduil knew his child had not been harmed. Thranduil’s guard had mentioned that simply seeing Legolas would calm and sooth Thranduil so if nothing else it might make the King less hostile.

  
He stood in front of Thranduil’s chamber door for a long while, trying his best to gather all the courage he could to concede to Thranduil’s want and need to see his son, Thorin had denied him so obstinately he didn’t wish for Thranduil to think him weak in allowing this. Thorin swallowed thickly before he straighten his back and he was about to knock on the door but his hand fell short and dropped to his side instead.

  
The softest whispers could be heard from outside the door and two faint word stopped Thorin from proceeding to knock. ‘Gi melin’ it actually stunned Thorin for a few movements before he was able to process the words he had accidently heard. He knew the phrase well enough, used by the Sindarin to speak of love, and this had actually shook Thorin to his very core, the two sweet word were not spoken in passing and he could clearly hear it was Thranduil that spoke the words, that much he could tell…but he needed to know more as he turned from the chamber quickly before he would been seen.

  
Thorin went back to his chamber and through a cleverly disguised panel on the wall he opened it to reveal a secret passageway. A very select few knew of this passage, it lead to many different rooms as well as a direction deep inside the mountain to allow escape in a case of invasion. Had the attack of the dragon not been so immediate the passage would have been used then, but now Thorin decided to put it to other uses. The room he had placed Thranduil in had been deliberate as it connected to the passage and while at the time he thought he would never have the need to use it he couldn’t help himself but to secretly invade Thranduil’s privacy and see exactly who it was that Thranduil had bestowed such words to. He knew of only one other who was in Thranduil’s favor; however he needed confirmation of this! He approached the opening that would lead into Thranduil’s room; the panel of wall that would open had been covered by a large tapestry as he silently opened it just slightly so he would be able to see into the room from the small gap between the tapestry and wall.

  
Thorin stood frozen at what he saw, the two elves were kissing…they were in a passionate embrace and actually kissing one another. He wanted to burst through the door and scream at the two, to ask what they were doing, but he couldn’t seem to move. It confused Thorin; he had asked this blasted guard if he loved Thranduil in which he had said ‘ _no_ ’ apparently he had lied, or Thorin had awoken something inside Aldewin of which he wasn’t aware of until recently. The situation seemed unreal and it twisted Thorin’s insides witnessing the two. He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the two regardless of his own jealous rage which was surging inside him…their lips moved in perfect sync, the embrace was relaxed and gentle; it was nothing like the kiss Thorin had shared with Thranduil. He had blackmailed Thranduil into allowing him a kiss and it was rough and displeasure-able for Thranduil undoubtedly, but he was enjoying this experience with his guard, more than he would have ever enjoyed anything with Thorin.

  
‘ _Unworthy_ ’ was the single coherent thought that rushed through Thorin’s mind, his head was spinning, but that lone word rang clear as day. Thranduil was a King! This common guard had no right whatsoever to lay his hands upon him! Not to mention Thranduil was fragile at this point and time, even Thorin could recognize that, it was despicable that this lowly mongrel would take advantage of Thranduil’s frailty to simply bed him! This elf had no honor, to be so disgraceful toward his own king was vile and Thorin felt a new sense of rage, born from anger not jealousy, it swelled within him. Thorin felt himself make a movement toward the panel, ready to burst through and stop the depraved guard from exploiting Thranduil’s weakness, but he stopped himself…Thranduil seemed to be enjoying it, he pulled Aldewin closer to his body, deepened their kiss and was allowing himself to be held and touched, and regardless of Thorin’s thoughts he forced himself to turn away from the scene.

  
“If Thranduil wishes to be a whore to a lowly guard that’s his prerogative.” Thorin growled under his breath as he made his way back to his chamber.

  
He walked over to the nearest cabinet, grabbing a bottle of wine and drinking a hefty amount in one swallow directly from the bottle. He sat down heavily in one of the chairs near the hearth where hot embers were glowing brightly. The situation Thorin had seen burned him with an intensity much the same as the embers in his fireplace. Thorin had wanted to stop it! It wasn’t right and it defiantly was wrong for one of such low rank to be touching his king so inappropriately, but Thranduil seemed to like it so who was Thorin to stop it? Was Thranduil simply desperate? The image of Thranduil willing spreading his legs for Aldewin infuriated Thorin, and in a fit of rage threw the wine bottle across the room it shattering on the adjacent wall.

  
“Let the lowly cur fuck him! Who knows how many he has given it up to over the millenniums he’s been alive!” He said shaking his head angrily. At the moment Thorin couldn’t see Thranduil as nothing more than a whore, and pathetic slut that would open his body for anyone willing to fill him.

  
“Thranduil acted as if *I* had disgraced *him*! He disgraces himself!” Thorin screamed. Were their talks nothing but folly? A way to torment Thorin further, and shame his kin with actions instead of words? “Filthy harlot, we will see you humiliated before this is over…I’ll allow the faithful guard dog to service his bitch tonight, but be prepared for tomorrow Thranduil.” He said grabbing another bottle of wine.

  
***

  
Aldewin gently cupped Thranduil’s face when their lips met once again for a sweet and emotional kiss. He remembered clearly what this had been like, for the most part he rarely thought of their one time together it wasn’t meant to become anything more and he did his best to let it fade into memory…but he still remembered the touch of Thranduil’s lips, the soft yielding skin, the temperate warmth, yes, he remembered all too well. The cool alabaster skin of his king, and the soft gold of his hair flowing down his back. Aldewin loved to run his fingers through the thick silken locks of hair loving the weight in his hands as he kissed him lovingly.

  
Thranduil recalled as well, it was never truly forgotten after all, if he had been able to forget things easily he wouldn’t be trapped in this mountain to begin with. But the hot lips against his own washed away all thought of worry and fret from his mind. Aldewin was always so warm, his body radiated fire like a blaze and it heated Thranduil’s blood setting his body aflame. Aldewin tended to have this effect on Thranduil whether he realized it or not.

  
Aldewin awoke passion within Thranduil which had been dormant for so long. Thranduil had never been oblivious to how handsome Aldewin truly was. Aldewin was tall, a few inches above Thranduil’s height even, his hair having the resemblance of a ravens feather reaching just between his shoulder blades although he tended to keep it tied back rather than allowing it to flow freely. His skin had been sun-kissed and was very well defined due to centuries of field training as well as being captain of Thranduil’s royal guardsmen. However all that paled in comparison to his eyes, they were unusual resembling a polished onyx stone but for some reason Thranduil always found great comfort in those eyes while others viewed them as ominous and somewhat alarming, Thranduil had never felt that way. To Thranduil Aldewin’s eyes shone with friendship and comfort, honesty, and above all love.

  
Thranduil felt strong arms encircle his waist and pull him a little closer, the heat of Aldewin’s tongue running along his bottom lip as Thranduil parted his lips to allow Aldewin to delve inside. He was an excellent kisser, Aldewin knew exactly how to make Thranduil swoon and moan into the kiss making him want more, to crave this contact, want it to never stop. Thranduil wrapped one hand around Aldewin’s nape to draw him in for a deeper more passionate kiss his other hand running down the defined chest and chiseled abdomen. Thranduil felt somewhat bold as he grasped Aldewin between his legs although he was surprised when Aldewin seized his wrist and broke their kiss.

  
Thranduil frowned at the action. “You always see it fit to stop me at some point, don’t you want this?” He asked looking into those beautiful black eyes.

  
Aldewin sighed pressing his forehead against Thranduil’s. “Is it what you want? I’m concerned that you do this not for yourself or for me but because you simply wish to forget…I don’t appreciate being your catalyst to achieve that.” Aldewin said seriously. This was different than their first time, and wanted to be sure Thranduil remembered that.

 

“Can it be both? Can it be for us and for a moment of blinding pleasure where neither one of us can think of anything?” Thranduil said kissing his neck gently.

  
Aldewin gave Thranduil a gentle smile. “No…not like this and not now.” Aldewin said kissing him gently. “Would you honestly want it like this? In this cold mountain palace with a King you hate and not knowing of your son? I don’t say this to upset you only to put things in perspective.”

  
Thranduil sighed deeply nodding his head. “Of course you’re right…you’re always right, something that makes you quite insufferable at times.”

  
Aldewin couldn’t help but laugh a little at Thranduil’s comment. He pulled Thranduil into a comforting embrace. “We needn’t rush things along anyway Mela en' coiamin, we are timeless.” He kissed Thranduil’s temple.

  
Thranduil ran his hand down Aldewin’s arm slowly. “I’m sorry…with everything you have done for me I still couldn’t tell you my deepest secrets until now, I want to share everything with you form this point forward…I want you to know me completely inside and out, good, bad, everything.” Thranduil said sitting upon the bed silently asking Aldewin to join him.

  
Aldewin joined him and allowed Thranduil to rest his head in his lap as he caressed his hair. “I look forward to it, all of it…I wish you to know everything about me as well.” Aldewin said. True enough they knew much about each other but there was always more to know, especially when the relationship happened to change.

  
“All will be well Thranduil, we will get your son back and we will go home and you needn’t ever think of Erebor again if it suits you.” Aldewin continued to speak soothing words and reassurance until Thranduil fell asleep in his lap.

  
***

  
Thorin was still furious as the dawn began to start breaking over the horizon, he had spent the better part of the night drinking and he still felt it wasn’t enough to wash away the image of Thranduil and Aldewin burned into his mind. Thranduil deserved to be with a fellow King! This pathetic guard was not worthy to hold a prize and beautiful and glorious as Thranduil.

  
Thorin left his chamber and went directly to the medical ward. He quickly made a specific compound to induce sleep in elfs, it was the same concoction he put in Thranduil’s wine the night he raped him…made the elf weak and unable to resist him, Thorin smiled slightly as he altered the formula only slightly so that the sleeping agent would last longer.

  
“Now let us see you beg…” He whispered to himself.

  
***

  
Thranduil awoke in the morning; slowly opening his eyes to the sunlight that peered through the window’s which landed squarely on his face. He could feel the shallow soft breath’s of Aldewin, Thranduil was still resting on his chest, the soft heaving of his chest and strong heartbeat was soothing and Thranduil had fallen asleep to the feeling and sound. Thranduil sat up slowly and silently, he didn’t wish to wake Aldewin, he was fairly certain his friend had waited to the last second until giving into sleep, and while Thranduil was early to rise, Aldewin was not.

  
Thranduil dressed himself and prepared to go meet Thorin, he had been told the contract would be finished by the morning and that he would be permitted to see his son afterward, they would be treated as guests until the first shipment of supplies as arrived and which point they would be allowed to return home. Thranduil was anxious to simply sign the blasted contract and be reunited with his child.

  
He left the room and was thankful he didn’t wake Aldewin in the process as he made his way toward Thorin’s study. Thranduil was not particularly pleased going to Thorin’s study since it was directly connected to the bedroom…that damned bedroom where so much mental horror and physical trauma took place, it was challenging to know he was so close but as long as the signing didn’t take too long Thranduil was confident that he could remain calm, he didn’t wish to lose himself like he had previously it would ruin the reunion with Legolas if that happened.

  
He was shown to the study doors by a dwarf page but once inside the page left, what Thranduil found odd was that Thorin was nowhere to be found. Thranduil frowned, Thorin seemed just as eager to resolve this contract agreement and make it official and if that was the case why wasn’t he here? Thranduil felt his chest tighten involuntarily as he paced the study for a few minutes not exactly sure what to do with himself, he was worried that if he left Thorin would show up and be angered that Thranduil was not present and possibly demand more from him…so he waited but still Thorin didn’t appear.

  
Thranduil was about to give up and leave but he heard a rustling sound coming from the adjacent room and it gave him pause. He knew what room it was; it was Thorin’s bedroom ‘was it possible the dwarf simply overslept?’ Thranduil thought, he took a step toward the bedroom door but stopped when his stomach lurched almost making him vomit. He never wanted to see that room again, the large bed, the fireplace, the darkened walls…the dark deeds that transpired there. Thranduil couldn’t bring himself to go any further, but something inside him was compelling him almost begging him to open the foreboding door and see what the ruckus was about.

  
Thranduil’s mouth had gone dry at this point, the voice in his mind kept telling him to ignore the noise, that no good would come of it should he pass that threshold but for some unknown reason he pushed the voice aside and approached the door slowly. He grabbed the handle and pushed forward as the heavy door gave way and opened to the bedroom although he was not prepared for what he saw.

  
***

  
Thranduil felt his heart leap in his throat at the sight that greeted him. Thorin was lounging on his bed; he wore a simple robe that was gap-opened in the front revealing his chest as he looked at Thranduil intently. But that wasn’t what distressed Thranduil and made him freeze while his entire body screamed in protest to take some type of action was that his son was laying on the bed right next to Thorin…however Thranduil couldn’t seem to move.

  
Thranduil’s son, his only child was lying unconscious on the bed with Thorin leaning over him ever so slightly. Legolas didn’t appear to be harmed but the situation was alarming enough without the implication of harm, and looks can be deceiving. Thranduil’s’ breath hitched his heart beating so loudly he thought he would go deaf from the sheer force, what was Thorin doing!? They had come to an agreement; he had said no harm would befall his son! Thranduil suddenly felt a surge of guilt for ever believing anything Thorin had said.

  
“I was wondering when you would finally get enough courage to enter my room again…I truly wished the circumstances were different than this, but you leave me with so few options.” He said placing a hand on Legolas’ chest which made Thranduil visibly tense. “You can be so predictable and it makes it easy for others to take advantage of you.” Thorin said.

  
Thranduil shook his head disbelieving for a moment at the sight, the undertones of the situation were horrifying and he simply wanted Thorin to get away from his son. “Thorin…we had an agreement.” Thranduil said taking a step toward him but Thorin glared at the action.

  
“If you come one step closer I swear I will slit this elf’s throat.” Thorin warned the blade in his hand unnoticed until that point. “And I know what we agreed upon, this has nothing to do with that…our contract for trade and such is upon my desk and you can sign whenever you see fit, but this…” He said gesturing to Legolas with his hands. “This is different; I said I would allow you to see him and now you have, does it not satisfy you?” Thorin growled his voice low and dangerous.

  
Thorin slipped the knife into Legolas’ bed-shirt slicing the material easily with the sharp blade, the sound of the clothing being torn made Thranduil shudder with remembrance of his own clothing being cut from him body in much the same fashion, he wanted to rush Thorin and steal his child away but that knife so dangerously close to his son’s body cemented Thranduil’s feet to the ground and he was at a complete loss.

  
“You said you would not harm him.” Thranduil said his voice trembling.

  
“I haven’t harmed him, he’s simply asleep…I used the same agent upon him I used upon you, it’s a little different he will sleep much longer than you did, but I wanted you awake for when I defiled you three years ago. I knew before I brought you to my chamber that you would never yield to me, it did make my revenge bittersweet.” Thorin looked down at Legolas. “Do you think he would beg? Cry for his dear ada to save him?”

  
Thorin ran one of his hands slowly down Legolas’ bare chest, brushing ever so gently across his pink nipples before his fingers went to the tie of his breeches slowly unlacing it although he paused momentarily to look at Thranduil intently.

  
“What would you do to save him, I wonder…this child is your anchor to life itself, if anything happened to him it could very well kill you.” Thorin paused “What are you willing to give to keep him safe? After all you came to this mountain for him didn’t you?” Thorin said.

  
“I didn’t come here to make any deals with you, I didn’t come for some higher purpose or with the intent to help your people…I couldn’t possibly care less about them, regardless of how selfish and un-kingly that might seem. I came because I was afraid, and while I know that fear should be for my child it wasn’t, it’s not even now that I dread for him because I know he is merely a pawn in this game and your end result is to make the King fall is it not? You have no intention to hurt him, you never did otherwise you would have done so by now…so why bring him now, to enlist panic and fear in me, I promise you I am already well frightened by you without you using my son as a means.” Thranduil said his voice almost breaking as he spoke. He did fear for his sons safety of course but he knew Thorin ultimately wanted him not his child.

  
Thranduil’s words were true he didn’t come for any other reason than the fact that he was afraid, he was so afraid because this dwarf had the audacity to drug and rape him, brutalize and torture him for hours and would never pay for that crime giving him enough opportunity to strike again if he so wished. It was the fear of not knowing what he would do next that caused tremors to rush through Thranduil’s body. He hated feeling so weak and vulnerable but Thorin was the only one who caused such a reaction.  
“What do you want?” Thranduil asked softly, barely above a whisper.

  
Thorin stood moving away from Legolas coming toward Thranduil who retreated slightly. ‘Is it true? Is Thranduil truly afraid of me?’ He thought for a moment. “Not once did you yield…all through the night you never once surrendered no matter what I did to you and now you ‘claim’ to be afraid?” Thorin scoffed. “You do not scare easily, in fact I could argue that you don’t scare at all…what could I possibly do to you that I haven’t already.”

  
“That’s what frightens me…I couldn’t phantom what desires you have, but you blackmailed me to make me come so you must have some agenda, and do not tell me it is for your people if it was you would have spoken through Legolas and never involved me from the beginning. You wanted me to come with such a crippled desire that you are risking the lives of Erebor to do so.” Thranduil said through clenched teeth, he could feel his control slipping but he managed to remain.

  
“Oh yes you have crippled me…quite devastatingly I might add. The night I took you I only wanted to inflict pain upon you, make you feel all the anguish and pain I suffered while living like a mongrel in the streets, every time you turned away when needed, oh yes I wanted you to suffer and for a time I even thought I wanted you to die, but I don’t…at least not anymore.” Thorin paused for a moment to look at Thranduil intently before continuing. “I wanted to see you again, I needed you to understand but you cut off all contact with me, refused to even receive my letters or gifts I had no other way to see you unless I resorted to these unconventional methods, I regret having to do so but I refuse to regret having you here no matter what method I used…my heart burns whenever you are near, I thought it was regret possibly eve remorse for what I did but I cannot bring myself to hate that night , the memory of you in my arms soothes me. You know I want you, that is all I have ever wanted…I am in love with you, so yes my heart is crippled by you.” Thorin said.

  
Thranduil was silent for a good few moment before a soft laugh erupted from his throat, it was a strange laugh almost as if it was mixed with tears and complete confusion as Thranduil tried to process the words and come up with some sort of response but he was coming up with nothing to say and was unable to sort the emotions out so they escaped him jumbled and in disorder. He backed up a little and stumbled as he did so nearly falling but managing to catch himself on the door frame.

  
“You really are insane Thorin…after what you did you think you love me?” Thranduil shook his head trying to process the idea but everything he had suffered by the hands of this dwarf only further enforced the fact that Thorin hated him, and he couldn’t love him. It simply wasn’t possible.

  
“I would never say such a thing unless it was true, I love…” Thorin’s words were cut off.

  
“Shut up! Just be quite! I don’t want to hear it, not from you, never from you! Even if you have some obsessed twisted love for me I could never return those feelings so why would you say it at all?!” Thranduil nearly began to sob. “Why do you wish to torture me so much, I can hardly bring myself to love my son, I want to take comfort from others but I am unable to feel the connection I so desperately need…you have ruined me Thorin, like a disease eating away at my heart…I cannot love you!” Thranduil shook his head furiously as if trying to rid his mind of the words.

  
Tears began to fall from his eyes as he looked past Thorin at his sleeping son, oblivious to all the terrible things being said all around him. This child was Thranduil’s anchor, his ability to stay alive regardless of the heinous acts he had been subjected to. Thranduil would lapse occasionally and cause damage to objects and himself but he had managed to stay alive and that was what was important, wasn’t it? If he wasn’t living for Legolas who could he possibly live for? His people? His friends…Aldewin, he was broken and he would never find all the pieces of his shattered soul so he would remain incomplete for all of eternity…he sometimes felt like a burden, his son had grown so much and Thranduil knew he would make a strong and great King, someone Mirkwood could be proud of. It wasn’t fair to ask so much of his son, keeping himself strong to help his ever ailing father, nor was it fair to Aldewin to care so much for someone who could never fully return those feelings…they both deserved so much more than he was able to give, Thranduil hoped he was strong enough to make one final sacrifice for the ones he loved.

  
“I can stay if that is what you want…” He said looking at Thorin he seemed completely stunned by the sudden offer. “Do not mistake me Thorin, I offer myself only so you will let Legolas and the rest of my people return home, destroy the contract if you wish, it is of no use to either of us as I will send a list of the supplies you need back with my son and they will be delivered…and I will stay, I cannot promise you anything and you will receive nothing personal from me, but I will stay here in Erebor I will not try and escape and you can quell this ever growing desire to see me anytime you like, will that be enough?” Thranduil asked the last thin shred of hope inside him snapping as he spoke in complete defeat.

  
Thorin regarded Thranduil a moment wondering if he could believe him but he heard no deception in his voice as he spoke, he only wanted to save his son and he was willing to stay in Erebor to do that. Not to mention his ability to save the people of Erebor, it was odd that he held such leverage over the situation that he would still offer himself so willingly… How could Thorin possibly refuse?

  
“I accept.”

 

***

  
Gi melin - Love you (familiar)  
Mela en' coiamin - Love of my life

  
In case some missed the author note I am looking for a beta for this fiction and I would really appreciate anyone willing to help, please let me know if you are interested. ^_^

 

 

 


	8. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 8

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 8  
Chapter: 8 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: Thranduil cannot bear the thought of staying in Erebor but cannot allow any harm to befall his son either so he decides to keep his word, he feels even more heartbroken that he must force Aldewin to leave his side as well after they had just begun to form a relationship with one another. Can Thranduil make a memory with Aldewin that could last a lifetime?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: This chapter is mostly a love scene between Aldewin and Thranduil, completely different from the one I wrote in Survival Part II, I thought a more tender and slow approach would fit the fiction much better and I hope it agrees with you too!

  
***

Thranduil slowly made his way back to his chamber, he felt numb almost like it wasn’t even his strength that was leading him but rather some other unknown energy that was giving him just enough strength to make his way back to his room. The agreement he had come to arrange with Thorin was what made him feel this way, even though it was his idea that didn’t mean he was exactly happy about it. He wasn’t sure what exactly compelled him to act so rashly but he was so exhausted in his mind in his heart and he simply couldn’t take it anymore…even if putting himself in this position killed him, Thranduil simply didn’t care anymore.

  
Once back in his room he stepped out onto the balcony, the stars were shining brightly in the midnight sky and their song was soothing to his rattled nerves although he could barely hear it now. He could clearly remember a time with the stars would sing so loudly that it was almost deafening, and as the rain fell from the sky it would spell out stories for him, this whispering trees and laments of the earth, he could remember them so clearly but after the assault he had shut himself away from their touch, their songs were melancholy the stories were sad, as if reflecting his own pain and he couldn’t bear to be the cause of such depression so he kept himself from the embrace of Arda and little by little he lost the once powerful connection he had…he could still hear the song of the stars but it was faint, a mere shadow of what he used to know. A voice brought him from his musings as he turned to meet Aldewin.

  
“Did you manage to finish the contract?” Aldewin asked noticing the slightly odd expression on Thranduil’s face but ignored it for the moment, he could always ask later.

  
Thranduil blanched a little when he met Aldewin’s eyes, he had forgotten…how could he have been so thoughtless! For the first time in years he had opened up his heart and confided his most guarded secrets into this elf before him and he had found peace and comfort in his arms, but he had agreed to stay here so they would now be needlessly torn apart when they had just come together. Thranduil could barely recall when he had last felt safe and that was all thanks to Aldewin. Thranduil wasn’t sure if Aldewin would understand why he had agreed to something so irrational, and worried he would think that Thranduil didn’t love him which was not the case he loved Aldewin more than he thought possible even more so that he was capable of loving someone when he had withdrawn so completely from everyone and everything…he needed him to understand that.

  
“…yes…” Thranduil said swallowing the lump in his throat. “You, Legolas, and the rest of the advisers will be returning home in the morning. I will stay here for the time being.” He said seeing shock clearly in Aldewin’s eyes.

  
“You will stay here? Why do you need to stay at all? Does he think that a signed contract is not good enough to ensure our aid and that he needs another hostage to force our hand, I cannot simply leave you here alone in this mountain…not after what happened.” He said a twinge of sadness in his voice.

  
“I understand your concern but I made this decision of my own will, I suggested it even…I cannot keep fighting this battle with him especially when my loved ones are so close, too close for something terrible to happen to them of which I cannot bear. I need you and the others away from here…knowing you are safe back in Mirkwood will be all the strength I need to endure my time here.” Thranduil said.

  
“Our safety? Thorin is not interested in us; he used your son to oblige you to come. It’s always been you that he wants…can you not understand that by you staying here alone it gives him the perfect opportunity to hurt you again.” Aldewin said desperately. “I don’t want to lose you to that dwarf…”

  
Thranduil smiled and cupped Aldewin’s cheek. “You aren’t going to lose me to him; you needn’t ever worry about that my love.” Thranduil said gently stroking Aldewin’s cheek with his thumb. “I didn’t agree to anything but to stay, so you don’t need to worry about me…although I know you will.”

  
Aldewin hated this, but he also knew that if he refused it might jeopardize the agreement and if anything was to happen to Legolas because of him Thranduil would never forgive him and he could never forgive himself either. However despite all this the thought if leaving Thranduil behind gripped his heart with a terrible fear and unyielding pain…Thorin still wanted Thranduil and this was simply another attempt to gain possession once more, Aldewin hated this but if Thranduil was to command it he would have no choice but to obey.

  
“I need you back in Mirkwood to guide Legolas while he is acting King in my absence there is no other I would trust more in this task…I need you to do this for me.” Thranduil said praying that Aldewin would do this willingly if he was adamant about refusing he would have to command it and he didn’t want to do that.

  
“Very well…I am reluctant to do this but I understand. Can we write to one another? I would be concerned that any letter I send would not be received by you.” Aldewin said.  
“If I go more than a week without receiving a letter I will confront Thorin about it, so do not dawdle. We will write and I will tell you everything that is happening to me here to put your mind at ease. I will come home eventually…come home to you.” Thranduil said leaning forward to bestow a kiss on Aldewin’s lips.

  
Aldewin sighed into the kiss unable to resist the urge to wrap his arms around Thranduil’s waist and pull him a little closer. Thranduil wrapped his arms around Aldewin’s neck and deepened the kiss. He felt Aldewin’s tongue run across his lower lip so he opened his mouth allowing him to slip inside as their tongues intertwined and explored each other’s mouths. Aldewin was always careful with Thranduil, and was a little more cautious than most when it came to being intimate with someone, which was why he denied Thranduil initially, he was not comfortable with a fleeting night of passion; his feelings were never so fickle so how could he possibly feel contented with such a thing. With Thranduil having been hurt so deeply by Thorin the last thing Aldewin wanted to do was take advantage of him, he needed a friend and lover that would take into account his physical and mental circumstances, not to be self serving and think of his lover first. Aldewin could provide him with that…but by the Valar he tasted so good like thick milk and sweet honey, he loved the sensation of holding Thranduil in his arms once more and kissing him, he could stay this way with him forever if only he could but after a moment he knew he had to break the kiss so not to be carried away in his own current of passion.

  
Thranduil frowned from the kiss being broken a little too soon, it might be some time before he was able to see Aldewin again, they didn’t decide on a time frame on how long he would be staying in Erebor and he wanted something more to remember than fleeting kisses and sweet embraces from his lover, there simply wasn’t enough time.

  
“I know you have reservations my love but do you not think it somewhat folly to worry about such things now?” Thranduil said leaning into Aldewin’s embrace his hand over the others heart feeling it beat against his chest quick and hard, ‘at least he’s not completely unaffected’ Thranduil thought. “You will be leaving me tomorrow and it might be a while before I can be with you once more.”

  
“If you were not practically forcing me to leave your side we would have more time.” Aldewin said pulling away and sitting on the bed, his movement was a little forced obviously not wanting to break their contact.

  
Thranduil looked at Aldewin sadly. “I don’t want you to leave…but I need you too, there is a difference. You are essential in my life and I will have no other look after my child, I will have no other hold my heart, only you.”

  
Thranduil straddled Aldewin’s waist who took a sharp breath at the action although he made no movement to stop him and Thranduil took his face in both his hands and kissed him passionately. Thranduil’s body unconsciously arched against the solid frame before him his hands traveling from the others face along his neck, across his shoulder, down his firm chest and chiseled abdomen, stopping at the waist of his breeches. Thranduil knew he could not force Aldewin to do anything he didn’t want, but he wanted Aldewin to desire this as much as he did. He broke the kiss and was surprised at how hard both their breathing was. Aldewin reached up and cupped Thranduil’s cheek who leaned into the touch, Thranduil really was beautiful so different from the image he projected to others. Many thought Thranduil to be a cold beauty one that wouldn’t demand anything from his lover and would have fleeting nights of passion without a worry or care, Aldewin often found himself conflicted with the disparity between the image Thranduil presented and his inner innocence…it was almost heart-breaking beautiful when he let the mask fall from his face leaving an exposed and vulnerable elf in its wake, no longer a King just an elf with little experience in matters of the heart, the knowledge of hurt and loss still fresh in his mind and body but willing to risk everything to simply be with the one he loved now.

  
Aldewin lifted Thranduil’s chin to look into the lapis blue eyes, they shone with love but had a clouded element of desire within them as well. “Tell me you love me.” Aldewin said simply.

  
“I love you.” Thranduil said without hesitation or pause.

  
Aldewin smiled slightly as he leant forward and kissed Thranduil again, it was gentle yet passionate as well. Neither of them were fools, and despite Aldewin’s hesitance and Thranduil’s own reservations into getting intimately involved again they were both willing and wanting to share this moment…they loved each other and tomorrow they would be separated, this night was all they had for now and they would make the most of it. This would not be the first time they had laid together. The first time was not long after Thranduil had lost his wife, unable to sleep alone found himself in Aldewin’s room in his bed. Thranduil’s mind and soul had taken a heavy hit from the pain he had suffered from the loss of his beloved life mate, and was not given the time he needed to properly grieve and thusly his inner light began to fade. The moment they shared that night was in comfort and friendship, to rekindle Thranduil’s light and bring him back stronger. It wasn’t that Aldewin and Thranduil didn’t love each other, they did, but it was a different type of love than it was now. This time was different, it was something they both wanted and needed from one another and it was in love, their hearts belonged to each other and their need could only be met by each other no other could make the other feel like this.

  
Thranduil let out a soft sigh as Aldewin kissed along his neck, his hot mouth moving across Thranduil’s skin making him tremble. Skilled hands slowly removing his clothes as his own hands sought the claps on Aldewin’s robes to remove them as well. Hands and mouths slowly exploring each other’s bodies, tasting and feeling each other slowly and sensually, as if it was their first time.

  
Thranduil smiled as they broke away for a moment. “You taste like spices.” Thranduil said kissing him again, while he assisted Aldewin in removing his own clothes. This would be different, they would be together as lovers this time, this would be the moment they consummated their love and created a memory like no other, the place didn’t matter, the time was of no concern, they were the only things that gave meaning to their love and nothing would disrupt them now.

  
***

  
Thorin took a sharp breath as he tried to keep himself from disturbing the happy couple just a few feet away from him. He had originally placed Thranduil in this particular room so he would be able to spy on him on at any time. From a secret passage in the nearby room with a small removable panel, behind a strategically placed tapestry, so when the panel was moved no one would notice. Thorin had decided to see what Thranduil would do once he was alone again so he pushed the panel only slightly aside, enough to see into the room a little, he was a bit surprised to see he was not alone. At first he was angry that that miserable guard was once again with Thranduil, and not only that they seemed to be building up to actually sleeping with one another and he desperately wanting to put a stop to it but for some reason he found himself taking pause. Thorin watched the scene curiously and his own anger actually dissipated, he still felt a surge of jealousy that it wasn’t him holding Thranduil…but the technique was something he wanted to examine further. It was cautious and so gentle, Aldewin used such slow and gentle advancements he was able to stop himself quickly if Thranduil was to object to it, almost so quickly the incident was completely forgotten or not even noticed. Aldewin seemed to know Thranduil so well it was easy to see the slight change in expression or the tense of muscle to make him change what he was doing until Thranduil gave the response he wanted and Thranduil seemed to be enjoying it.

  
That type of gentility was something Thorin never considered before, the time he forced himself on Thranduil he only wanted to inflict pain and humiliation, he had never considered being gentle with him…the idea of doing only what Thranduil liked, making Thranduil want it instead of forcing him. Thorin had used the technique of ‘figging’ on Thranduil with ginger root and he did shudder with unwanted pleasure but Thorin wanted Thranduil to actually enjoy being with him, he didn’t want to force it again. He looked back at the sweet love scene; Thranduil was so close he wanted to desperately to touch him but he would have to wait until Thranduil was alone with him…for now he would watch, maybe he could learn something.

  
***

  
Aldewin kept his eyes open and watched Thranduil intently as they explored one another, he wasn’t a fool and he knew Thranduil was still fragile so he wanted to make sure that their coupling would not later be regretted by either of them, every muscle flex, gasp, or sharp intake of breath, he took careful note of. Aldewin tried to focus as much attention as possible on Thranduil but his mind would wander a little, the tentative touch of Thranduil’s soft hands across his body and sweet lips upon his heated skin and meeting his mouth for passionate kisses certainly distracted him however it also reassured him that Thranduil truly wanted this, truly wanted him.

  
Thranduil sighed as Aldewin kissed down his neck and nimble fingers slowly undid the clasps and buttons on his shirt before it slipped from his shoulders and the cool air touching his skin making goose-bumps rush over him, although they were soon forgotten with the warmth enveloping him in the form of Aldewin’s arms. Aldewin certainly was an attentive lover, skilled in kissing and touching, even when Thranduil was a little hesitant about something it stopped so suddenly he didn’t even have the chance to dislike it which made this experience so much more enjoyable, Aldewin knew him so well and could read him so easily that no words were necessary and all Thranduil could feel was the heat from Aldewin’s skin, the pleasure…Aldewin would make sure of that.

  
Thranduil slipped his hands under Aldewin’s tunic feeling the hard chest and chiseled abdomen with his fingertips, sensing the slight tremble from within when he did. Thranduil gripped the hem of the tunic and pulled it up over the other elf’s head, and they embraced one another strongly their skin touching sending a jolt of excitement through them both. Both of their hands went to the others breeches, undoing the ties in unison although they had to break contact for a moment to stand so they could both fully disrobe although it was only for a moment and they quickly embraced again, kissed and fell back onto the bed together Thranduil fully comfortable to be atop Aldewin at the moment, the strange security that if he wished to escape he could making him feel calm and at ease…he needed to be in control of this situation and Aldewin seemed contended to allow that.

  
Thranduil re-adjusted himself so that he was straddling Aldewin’s waist and he sat up grasping Aldewin’s own arousal with his hand making the other take a sharp breath at the sudden escalation although he didn’t stop him, nor contain the deep moan when Thranduil began to stroke his length with slow and even strokes, the pace maddening but he didn’t want to put a stop to it either. Thranduil watched Aldewin’s facial expressions closely, Aldewin usually had a well placed mask of neutrality so stoic and serious at most times…but now so venerable and exposed in raw emotion, it made him astonishingly beautiful in Thranduil’s eyes, and he wanted to see more. He slid his own body down the length of Aldewin’s settling between his legs before taking the hardened member into his mouth, the loud gasp he heard only making him want to do more, he wanted to hear more pleasure pour from Aldewin’s lips, and would do anything if but to make him scream.

  
Aldewin was unable to stop himself from gripping Thranduil’s hair tightly when he went down on him, the suddenness was a little surprising but he had decided before all this had started that he would allow Thranduil to set the pace, he wasn’t comfortable escalating this situation but he wasn’t about to stop him…not yet at least.

  
“That feels…wonderful.” He breathed wanting to reach out and touch Thranduil but he was only slightly out of reach so he settled for gripping and gently stroking the other’s hair.

  
Aldewin allowed this to continue for some minutes before he finally had to put a stop to it, he didn’t want to be the only once feeling such a wonderful sensation so he pulled Thranduil up back to the bed and positioned Thranduil upon his side as he went the opposite direction so they could pleasure each other orally at the same time. Usually Aldewin was more inclined to provide individual attention rather than simultaneous as it allowed each person to focus a little better to the task at hand or the feeling of pleasure but he did enjoy this regardless and he knew well enough Thranduil was enjoying it as well. The pace and eagerness between them increased as he felt Thranduil pull away completely to breath loudly before going back down upon him pulling him further inside as Aldewin mimicked every motion which seemed to make Thranduil try even harder to pull him further inside and suck harder, every lick and flick of his tongue making stars explode from behind Aldewin’s eyes as he took Thranduil’s length to the hilt making the other scream around his arousal nearly breaking his resolve from the vibrations but managed to hold back. The sweet mewls and moans from Thranduil driving Aldewin near mad and eventually forced him to pull away completely and Thranduil followed meeting him immediately and kissing him passionately.

  
Thranduil broke their kissed and pushed Aldewin onto his back and straddled his waist once more, loving the feeling of Aldewin’s large hands running down his torso and sides, resting on his hips as he locked eyes with him. Lapis blue meeting the polished black eyes, sun kissed tanned skin meeting alabaster stone tone, hair like pale honey mingled with midnight black, they contrasted so drastically against one another it must had been an astonishing beautiful scene had anyone the privilege to see.

  
“Please, stay still…” Thranduil whispered against Aldewin’s lips as he grasped the other’s arousal placing him at his entrance. “Do not do anything until I say.”

  
Thranduil used a lotion like substance to ease the entry as he applied liberal amount to himself and Aldewin before he sat up slightly as he began to ease Aldewin inside. He hated asking Aldewin to stay still, as he knew how hard it must be, not to mention he also knew this would be a most painful pace…he has to take this slowly to allow him to get used to it again after so long and remind himself that he wanted this. It was always a little painful at first and Thranduil had already prepared himself mentally for it but still grimaced at the initial penetration, he felt a gentle hand cup his cheek making him smile slightly as he kissed the palm and continued. Aldewin swallowed thickly as Thranduil continued to lower himself slowly upon his length, he couldn’t even remember if he had ever taken something this slowly before ever in all his long life and he certainly understood Thranduil’s reasoning behind all this but it was taking every ounce of strength and reserve Aldewin had not to quicken the motion…if he didn’t love Thranduil so much he was sure he wouldn’t be able to hold back. Thranduil had taken half of Aldewin inside and took pause while taking a deep breath, the midsection girth was the hardest part to bypass, as it was the largest part, but once it was finished things would go much more smoothly. Thranduil applied a little more lotion to the area before pushing down a little harder gasping loudly at the feeling, Aldewin certainly was not lacking in size or girth which was making this more difficult than Thranduil cared for but he could remember clearly how good it felt when they had embraced for the first time, he loved Aldewin and wanted for nothing more than consummate their love so he took a deep breath and impaled himself upon Aldewin fully nearly screaming at the pain mixed pleasure he felt in doing so.

  
Aldewin did cry out a little from the sudden movement although he recovered quickly his attention quickly going to concern. “Are you all right?” He asked his own breathing labored from trying so hard to maintain control.

  
Thranduil’s breathing hitched slightly as he focused on the words for a moment before nodding his head quickly. “I’m fine, it’s just been a while…I need to stay like this for a minute.” Thranduil said shifting a little to make the experience a little more comfortable soon finding a position to his liking.

  
“Take all the time you need…although I know you realize this is a new level of torture you have decided to play upon me.” Aldewin said running his hands along Thranduil’s taunt and hard body. His fingers gently brushing across his rosy and erect nipples, he sat up a little to take one into his mouth while gently rolling the other between his thumb and index finger.

  
Thranduil let out a slow breath, actually grateful for the distraction as it allowed his adjustment a little easier for he focused on something else for a bit and after a moment he was able to move again. He only moved a little bit at first, rising himself up only slightly before settling back down repeating the motion a few times before he would take more out and in and repeating this motion in the same fashion. He allowed Aldewin’s hands to slowly guide him a little in going taking more and more as it progressed until he was able to remove Aldewin’s arousal completely and take him back inside just as easily his body fully accustomed to it and loose enough to make the entire situation easier and oh, so pleasurable.

  
“I had never forgotten how good you feel…it seems better though.” Aldewin said his face buried in Thranduil’s neck as he kissed it gently and wrapped his arms around Thranduil lovingly.

  
“Me too, somehow it’s better.” Thranduil said increasing his pace and leaning his head back to allow Aldewin more access, he did love his neck being kissed.

  
Aldewin gripped Thranduil’s’ hips a little tighter as he restrained himself from pushing Thranduil up and down a little faster, he wanted to feel more, wanted to heighten the experience, but he was so reserved and worried about doing the wrong thing about ruining the experience for himself and for Thranduil he held back. He felt Thranduil push Aldewin back down on the mattress as he braced his hands on the other’s chest and began to move faster much to Aldewin’s relief and gratitude. Thranduil threw his head back, his mouth agape as he took Aldewin for everything he had.

  
Thranduil had felt that this moment and this connection was what he had been missing in his life, that this could possibly fill in the black void of hurt and pain that plagued his heart, mind, and soul. He had tried to form relationships with others but he could never bring himself to even allow the briefest of moments of contact so the relations never lasted long, Thranduil knew they would probably understand and be patient with him if they had known the truth but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them. Aldewin was the only other besides Thorin that knew, it made things easier and he knew that Aldewin cared for him something he would never need reassurance in, Aldewin was always someone he could rely on and love.

  
Thranduil was thrown out of his thoughts when he was moved to lay on his back with Aldewin on top, his lips instantly sealed by the other and he could feel the movement of Aldewin’s hips gently hitting his own. Thranduil ran his hands down Aldewin’s strong arms loving the feel of how the muscles flexed under the movements as he thrust in and out of Thranduil. The new position was a welcomed one but Thranduil felt him slow to a stop and break their kiss.

  
“Is this all right?” Aldewin asked obviously still a little concerned, if Thranduil wanted to keep complete control Aldewin would gladly relinquish it.

  
“You worry too much.” Thranduil said wrapping his legs around Aldewin’s waist and pulled him closer and lifted his own hips to encourage Aldewin to continue. “Trust me, I will let you know if any of this bothers me…it’s not, I am loving every moment as I love you.”

  
In all truth Aldewin would know if Thranduil was or wasn’t enjoying himself or was reserved but he still wanted to give Thranduil every break or moment he needed to stop this, but once again he was reassured that Thranduil wanted this, that he wanted him and it elated and filled Aldewin with a joy he never knew before. Aldewin began to thrust faster into Thranduil the soft moans and gasps spilling from Thranduil’s lips was ecstasy to his ears and it only further encouraged him to keep the pace, even quicken it a little more. Aldewin was not fast with his lovers, he enjoyed taking his time and learning as much as he possibly could about what his partner wanted what they needed, he usually liked to experiment more with his lover but did not feel this was not the right time to test Thranduil’s boundaries…not drastically at least. He reached between them and grasped Thranduil’s own erection which was already weeping with need as he stroked it in time with his own movements, his finger pressed gently upon the slit as more liquid flowed out making his entire shaft slick which allowed Aldewin to more even faster upon him.

  
“Valar…you are so beautiful, I love you.” Aldewin said his pace consistent and steady. “I love you.” He repeated and kissed him passionately the own pressure he could feel deep in his gut building and burning making him want to go faster to go harder the fight for release that he desperately wanted.

  
Thranduil would have responded the same but he could hardly breathe with the intense pleasure building inside him. It had been so long since he had felt this sensation, and he wanted it, needed it, and craved it more than he thought possible. Thranduil loved Aldewin, and on some level he knew he always had loved him why he had never noticed it before now he would never know. Thranduil could feel the need for release as keenly as Aldewin. When their kiss broke Thranduil voiced his nearing to climax.

  
“Close…don’t stop, so close.” He breathed wrapping his arms around Aldewin’s and burying his face in the other’s neck inhaling his scent, running his hands all over the expanse of Aldewin’s body, he wanted to imprint everything about him into his mind, his scent, his body, this feeling so he would never forget.

  
The words from Thranduil and the feeling of the other’s hands all over him nearly pushed him over the edge but he pulled together every last fiber of resolve he had left to hold back as he slammed his hips forward hard and held Thranduil close until the scream of his lover filled the room quickly followed by his own.

  
The two elf’s held each other close in the breathless afterglow of their love making, the unite was bittersweet knowing that they would be separated come morning but at the same time they wouldn’t allow it to ruin this moment for them as they soon fell into a blissful sleep wrapped each other’s arms enveloped in each others love.

  
***

  
I hope this revised love scene between Aldewin and Thranduil works better for theme and emotion of this fiction, hopefully I achieved that this time around. Let me know what you guys think! I love hearing from my readers, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!

 

 


	9. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 9

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 9  
Chapter: 9 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Thranduil finally gets to see his son but as soon as the two are reunited, they are once again separated, as well as Aldewin being forced to leave Thranduil’s side. Now staying in Erebor with the one person he hates and even fears more than anyone else will Thranduil be able to survive?

SO SORRY! I know I promised an update about once a week and I have failed terribly in that, I won’t make excesses just know it was not from laziness or anything, I sometimes have a life beyond fiction ^_~ thanks to everyone who had stuck with me through the first try and this new one! I appreciate everyone’s support!

***

Thranduil awoke the next morning still wrapped protectively in Aldewin’s arms and while he desperately wanted to stay he needed to make sure that his son was all right and that they would indeed be leaving this accursed mountain. For a moment Thranduil enjoyed the warmth of the other’s body, knowing it could be quite a while before he felt in again, before he slowly untangled himself from Aldewin’s arms and legs so he could dress, Thranduil didn’t see any reason yet to wake Aldewin. While enjoyable, the night had been somewhat exhausting for the both of them and Aldewin had a long ride ahead of him…they would have plenty of time to say goodbye, so for now he let him sleep.

Thranduil had barely finished dressing when a knock on his door alerted him and woke Aldewin from his own sleep. Thranduil smiled at him as he went to the door an unfamiliar face of a dwarf servant greeted him.

  
“Good morning Elf King, I am to take you to your son.” He said simply as Thranduil nodded, stealing a glance at Aldewin before he left, and letting the other know he would talk with him after.

  
The walk was long…possibly short, Thranduil wasn’t sure exactly the anticipation making time all but relative at the moment. He was trying his hardest not to fidget and wring his hands together which he tended to do whenever he was anxious or nervous…and he most certainly was apprehensive about seeing his son, the knowledge that he was unharmed was something Thranduil desperately needed. When the dwarf stopped he motioned to the door to his left while he deftly unlocked it.

  
“His majesty says whenever ready they may leave.” The dwarf said curtly and left the area.

  
Thranduil didn’t hesitate to walk inside and when Thranduil saw Legolas he practically lunged at the child wrapping his arms tightly around his son almost suffocating Legolas in the process but Legolas took the action in stride. He knew his father would be worried sick about him and in all truth he had been foolish to not heed his warning before about Erebor but it would be okay now right? Thorin had informed him that he would be released today and would return home and that his guards had been unharmed.

Legolas was still angry they had been practically imprisoned for the past week but it didn’t matter anymore. Legolas was sure his father had taken care of everything, like he always did.

  
“I’m so glad you are safe, he didn’t hurt you did he?” Thranduil asked needing confirmation that his child, his anchor was all right.

  
“I’m fine, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you about coming here, my compassion for their plight bade me to come I should have sent someone in my stead.” Legolas said shaking his head at himself.

  
“Don’t worry about such trivial things now; all that is important is that you are safe. You’ll be going home now, that’s all that matters to me.” Thranduil said wrapping Legolas in a gentler hug.

  
“…well, then we should go.” Legolas said removing himself from the hug.

  
Thranduil hesitated a little. “For the time being I’ll be staying here…I need you to return home and be acting king in my absence.” Thranduil said cupping his cheek.

  
“What? Why do you need to stay? Does Thorin mistrust us so much that he won’t even grant us that small respect of honoring our word?” Legolas asked, in all honesty he was slightly afraid of taking on his father’s responsibilities and there really was no reason he should have to stay here, he was sure his father sent word for the supplies to be sent.

  
“Don’t worry, it’s not a permanent arrangement, I’m not exactly sure how long but I need to know that you will take care of things while I am here…I trust you completely Legolas one day you will be a great King so please, tell me I can leave this task in your hands.” Thranduil said.

  
“Of course father I will do as you ask but…I do not trust this arrangement.” Legolas said shaking his head.

  
Thranduil gave a somewhat sad smile as he embraced Legolas once more. “You don’t need to trust the agreement Legolas, you need only trust me.” He looked into Legolas’ eyes “Trust me; I know what I am doing.” Thranduil said which seemed to make his son a little less apprehensive.

  
In all truth Thranduil wasn’t so sure about his decision to stay but he didn’t really regret it either. Thorin had Legolas in his bedroom, in his bed! That damned dwarf even dared to touch him while Thranduil stood there like a frozen statue and him offering to stay in Erebor stopped Thorin from hurting and damaging his son in the same fashion Thorin had damaged him…Thranduil was already scarred if he could prevent harm befalling his son he would gladly do so every time, no matter the cost he would do everything in his power to protect Legolas which is why ultimately he didn’t regret his decision…although he wasn’t sure if it was wise.

  
***

  
Thranduil had helped Legolas with his supplies and made sure the other guards were ready to leave as well before he went back to his room where Aldewin was waiting for him patiently, his satchel was already packed and he seemed prepared to leave although Thranduil knew he didn’t wish to go and was extremely against this choice yet he still had the need to follow Thranduil’s commands no matter how much his heart screamed at him.

  
“I didn’t want to leave without seeing you once more…I don’t suppose me pleading to your compassion will allow me to stay by your side?” Aldewin said as Thranduil came closer and the two embraced in a soft and almost sad hug.

  
“If Thorin would but allow it you would never leave my side again…moreover I trust only you to guide and advise my son during my absence, he will need you more than he realizes and I need to know you will be there for him.” Thranduil said.

  
“I will. You can count upon me, and I’m sure Legolas is up to the task…just promise you will come home, return to your homeland…and return to me.” Aldewin said cupping Thranduil’s cheeks and kissing him adoringly on the mouth as gentle as a summer breeze.

  
“I promise.” Thranduil kissed Aldewin back allowing himself to be embraced by the strong arms of his lover.

  
After a moment Thranduil pulled himself away with a reluctant sigh and took off one of his silver rings, reminiscent of the tangled branches of Mirkwood and took Aldewin’s hand slipping it over one of his fingers and kissing his hand affectionately.

  
“Keep it.” Thranduil said with a smile and with one last kiss the two parted, unsure when they would be with one another again.

  
***

  
Thranduil watched from his balcony overlooking the expanse of Erebor’s fields as his son and his lover left, and if Thranduil had his way they would never return to this wretched place. His heart wrenched painfully in his chest and his stomach was tied up into what felt like a thousand knots as he watched them ride further and further away and for each pace they took it seemed to only tie another loop and twist upon his heart even more forcefully than before. He wanted to run after them but it felt as if his feet and been encased in stone as he was unable to move from his position, even when he could no longer even see a glimmer of them on the horizon he still looked forward, as if he was searching for the barest of movement upon the scope so he could fool himself into believing they were still within his sight. Soon enough tears began to cascade down Thranduil’s cheeks although he was unsure as to why, after all his son and his lover were safe now back home where they belong safe from Thorin and safe from himself too.

He should be happy shouldn’t he? However he cried and he couldn’t stop the tears, like a flood of emotion being released in one fell swoop leaving him bereft as he stumbled back into his room not being able to stay upon his own two feet as he stumbled to the ground and curled up upon himself sobbing, and he could feel it…that haze that would begin to cloud his mind and made him tremble in fear right before his mind would go completely blank and all thoughts would leave him.

  
“…no…” He said softly to the empty room as he gripped his head, fisting his hands into his hair and pulling upon it almost viciously, the pain giving him something to focus upon and possibly pull himself back into a coherent state rather than fall into his haze.

  
However despite his efforts it was too much, he couldn’t stop his tears, he couldn’t stop thinking about his own foolishness of offering himself like a sacrificial lamb for a beast, and the fact that his people and his child were safe was not enough to soothe his frantic mind. It was too much, and the taunt cord that held his mind together into a lucid state…snapped.

  
***

  
Thorin had decidedly left Thranduil alone the day his people left, he knew Thranduil would be combative and volatile so allowing him a day to cool down was the best course of action, and Thorin would be able to approach him with more ease. Not to mention he did have duties that needed his immediate attention, his people were still suffering and practically starving so regardless of everything he was not immune to the weight of his own responsibility. Thankfully the first shipments of goods had arrived and he began to ration and distribute the supply, more would come soon and if the future shipments were like the first he was secure with the knowledge that his people would be able to survive the winter which was huge relief. At this moment he truly had everything he wanted, his people’s lives had been guaranteed to endure, as well as his own survival, his ruler-ship was secured by the fact he was able to get the supplies they needed showing his people he was able to provide for them and was competent to be their King. Thorin had taken a few people that seemed to have a good hand with plants to start experimenting with winter crops and come summer they would work diligently to grow their own food, the increase in food meant this would not happen again and may even promote better trades in the future, moreover he didn’t wish to rely on others like he previously had, and Thranduil had already informed him that once his economy was back on their feet that trades would be less generous and there was really nothing Thorin could do about that.

  
However the one thing he *truly* wanted was Thranduil and now he had him…he had Thranduil, this beautiful elf that practically consumed his thoughts making it nearly impossible for him to focus on anything else was now back in his possession and this time he would not make the same mistakes. Thranduil already was yielding to his wishes and he was so close to having him once more, with that blasted guard now out of his way he could begin bringing Thranduil into his arms. He knew to do such a thing would be an enormous feat, yet he felt up to the challenge.

  
Thorin went and came to inspect a room that was currently being set up specifically for Thranduil, the room he resided in currently was simply a guest room not really befitting for an elf, and a more accommodating chamber would be better since he would be staying for a while. The furniture was little larger and the chairs a little higher, and Thorin had hanging plants and potted ones that were native to Mirkwood placed about the room, he had hopes it would give the room a more earthy feel, the colors were greens and browns with silver highlights and it had a large double door balcony that looked over the expanse of Erebor’s fields and one could clearly see Mirkwood in the distance, hopefully the sight of his home would sooth him. Thorin was no fool though he knew Thranduil would eventually try to escape so there were guards not far from his door patrolling the hallway and the balcony was high from the ground where more guards were stationed should he try. Although Thorin wanted Thranduil to feel more like a guest experience taught Thorin he had no choice but to treat him like a prisoner as well.

  
***

  
When Thorin came to Thranduil’s guest chamber intent to take him to the new room he was more than shocked at the state the room was now in. The room itself was in utter chaos, furniture had been turned over while sheets and clothing had been torn to shreds some even thrown into the fire, the books had entire chunks and pages ripped out and strewn across the room, the mirrors were shattered obviously by hand from the blood that was smeared across the broken fragments along with pottery and other decorations destroyed obviously having been thrown across the room…everything was ruined. Thorin could only guess Thranduil had another one of his feuded states, He scanned the room and didn’t see Thranduil until he went to the adjoining bath chamber where he found pretty much the same chaos although Thranduil seemed to be trying to tend to his hands which were bloody and cut up terribly probably due to shattering the mirrors.

  
Thorin knelt down close but not too close to Thranduil. He watched as Thranduil tried to clean up the cuts but didn’t seem to keep his hands from shaking as he did so. “Thranduil…let me take you to the infirmary, where they can bandage your hands.”

  
“Don’t touch me.” Thranduil said still trying to clear the haze in his mind; he was still somewhat out of it and trying to regain his composure, having Thorin so close to him certainly wasn’t helping him stay calm.

  
Thorin took a step away from Thranduil, he still did not understand the gravity of the situation, what he had done did have serious repercussions on Thranduil’s psyche making him unpredictable even to himself at times. Unfortunately there wasn’t much to be done about this situation, Thorin was fairly sure that Thranduil had already done everything in his power to minimize these episodes and he was still struggling with them even so…it might be something he would simply need to accept and if possible he would try and mend this damage he had caused. For the time though he sat on the floor across the way from Thranduil and simply waited for him to make the first move, he did know he would have to be extremely patient with Thranduil in his regard to Thorin, in regard to him.

  
It took a few hours for Thranduil to even allow for his wounds to be tended and bandaged up although he seemed more stable and alert than he was previously, he was still resistance to being near Thorin but he knew sooner than later Thranduil would simply have to get used to being around him, he had agreed to stay here so stay he shall.

  
***

 

“I hope the room meets your approval.” Thorin said as he watched Thranduil closely as he seemed to be mildly appreciative of the room.

  
“You needn’t station guards at my doors and below the balcony, I gave you my word I will stay and I will. I gave my word you would receive the supplies you needed and you have so does my word still mean nothing to you?” Thranduil asked slightly insulted that Thorin still didn’t trust him; he had done nothing to enlist such mistrust after all.  
“We never agreed to how long you would stay here…you may decide suddenly you wish to leave without even informing me, I can’t allow that.” Thorin said.

 

Thranduil scoffed.”How long *do* you intend to keep me? I can easily wait until you die but I would prefer to leave before then if possible.”

  
“I am unsure…” Thorin said adverting his eyes ‘forever’ certainly had a nice ring to it although he kept that thought to himself. However how long did he intend to keep Thranduil here with him? Thorin knew he didn’t want to ever let him go, but he also knew Thranduil wouldn’t stand for that. “I don’t want to settle on a time frame at this point we can discuss it further at a later time but for now let’s just leave the matter alone.” Thorin took a step closer to Thranduil noticing the visible flinch at the motion. “Let us have dinner tonight…” He began but Thranduil cut him off.

  
“No.” He said moving further away from Thorin. “I have no intention of seeing you anymore than absolutely necessary, I offered to stay here but I never agreed to spend time with you. I was serious when I explained that being near you and interacting with you was not a possibility in the future…I was intent on killing myself or you to avoid exactly this situation and if you try and force some type of relationship, innocent as your intentions may be, I cannot promise I will not lapse once more and Aldewin is not here anymore to stop me from carrying out my earlier threat.” Thranduil said a twinge of sadness that he was here all alone.

  
“You don’t need him! You are above that lowly guard why can you not see that!” Thorin said unable to stop himself from saying it the mere mention of Aldewin’s name made his blood boil. He wasn’t oblivious to the obvious affection they held for one another, he was unable to stop their relationship from evolving into love so even though he managed to separate them getting Thranduil to betray Aldewin would be exceedingly difficult if not entirely impossible.

  
“He loves me.” Thranduil said simply. “And I love him…I don’t need to justify my choice to you of all people but there are few people that I can allow to touch me after what I endured at your hands, did you know that? Only a handful of people on my good days can I stand coming close to me and even fewer that I can allow to touch me, I miss physical contact but I have become violently ill on more than one occasion when I allowed it…I do not fear nor dislike it when me and Aldewin touches me it’s nothing short of a miracle in my eyes that I can allow this.”

  
“If that is true then it is not exactly a choice, rather a lack of options.” Thorin growled shaking his head.

  
“Regardless of all that…” Thranduil grit out. “You don’t seem to completely grasp what I have been trying to tell you since my arrival is the sad fact I am not nearly as stable as I once was. Truthfully I am more of a danger to myself than to anyone else but that in no way means you are safe when near me…I hate being here I hate being near you and that will not change so if you feel it necessary treat me like a prisoner keep me in your dungeon it doesn’t matter where or how…I will feel the same inside regardless.” Thranduil turned his back to Thorin at that point; he glanced at his bandaged hands not remembering how it had happened. “Thorin…I don’t want to hurt you, and I’m afraid I will if you stay.”

  
Thorin could feel his chest swelling pity for this once proud and powerful Elvin King, and the fact that he was actually trying to protect Thorin the one who caused him to fall in the first place…it baffled him but also stirred sympathy for Thranduil.

  
“Then hurt me.” Thorin said cautiously taking a step closer to Thranduil. “Regardless of you saying you don’t want to I’m not entirely certain that’s true, and even if it is true…maybe it’s something you need instead?” Thorin said seeing surprised cross Thranduil’s features.

  
“Willingness to allow me to inflict pain upon you? Strange offer indeed, tempting too…but no. What I need is for you to regret your actions but you simply don’t, I wouldn’t be surprised if you even revere it somewhat…please Thorin just leave me alone.” Thranduil said shaking his head to himself and at Thorin’s foolishness.

  
“Very well but know this Thranduil, I cannot simply stay away from you forever, I will take you words to heart because I want nothing more than to earn your forgiveness…even if it takes forever, longer than my own life, earning your forgiveness will by my ultimate life’s goal.”

  
“You are unbearably foolish Thorin; do you honestly think I can forgive you for what you did to me? I hate myself for having even been touched by you, I still lay awake at night wishing you had actually killed me sometimes, and now you have me here away from my son who is my anchor in this life…I won’t forgive you.” Thranduil said sadly still not having turned around to look at Thorin.

  
Thorin didn’t answer Thranduil he was determined, and in all actuality was sincere that he wanted to earn Thranduil’s forgiveness he simply needed to figure out how, what the best approach would be?

  
Once Thorin left Thranduil alone he went to the balcony and simply looked at the expanse of field and in the far distance he could see his beloved homeland and beautiful forest of which he derived so much strength and peace from. He knew that his beloved son and lover were there now, they were safe and while he was sure they missed him as much if not more than he missed them yet he was happy that he didn’t have to worry about them, they would be fine and somehow that knowledge was enough to sooth any worries he had at the moment.

  
***

  
Again I apologize for the delay, for some reason this chapter took me a bit longer than I expected and I had a little trouble finding the words needed, also I apologize for it not being terribly exciting, and the next chapter will have some exciting drama for you guys I promise! Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated!

 

 


	10. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 10

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 10  
Chapter: 10 of 15  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Valerian Root is a real herbal remedy for insomnia so I used it as the concoction that Thorin used to put Thranduil to sleep and Tipton's weed is also real it causing disorientation and confustion.

 

***

  
Thorin decided to leave Thranduil alone for a while longer, he wanted Thranduil to agree to see him at least once in a while but as the situation seemed impossible every time Thorin thought he was getting closer to his goal it was pushed back several paces by Thranduil’s never ending rebuke of every attempt he made. Thorin knew his task in gaining Thranduil’s favor would be difficult and he would need extreme patience in the situation but he was never known for being enduring and the anticipation of having Thranduil so close but unable to touch him and be near him was agonizing to Thorin, and it was pure torture to respect Thranduil’s wishes about Thorin keeping his distance.

  
Nevertheless Thorin had to try and make things easier for Thranduil which he was doing his best to provide. Thorin still tended to his duties as King and was still dealing with the famine although with each new shipment it seemed like his people would defiantly survive, which was a huge relief, and weight lifted off his shoulders. He wanted to go to Thranduil and personally thank him for practically saving his people’s lives but he knew at the time Thranduil didn’t want to see him…not yet at least. Regardless though Thorin found a way to thank him without disregarding his wishes to be left alone at this time, a letter for now would suffice.

  
_Elvin King Thranduil,_

  
_I am doing my best to respect your wishes to be left alone but I wanted to express my sincerest gratitude for the help you and your people have extended to mine. Because of you generosity my people will survive and in doing so my position as King is furthered secured, I wanted you to know how much your assistance means to me. If there is ever anything you need while being a guest in my home, do not hesitate to ask._

  
_Sincerely Thorin, King under the Mountain._

  
Thranduil sighed, the letter crumpling under his hands as he tightened his fists before ripping the letter completely in half and letting it fall to the floor in pieces. He thought it was a strange and sneaky way of communicating with him while still not seeing him and it made Thranduil bristle at the action but still tried his best to not let it affect him too much. It was at least decent of the dwarf to leave him alone as requested; unless Thorin wanted this specially prepared room completely destroyed he would heed Thranduil’s warning. Thranduil was defiantly calmer with Thorin away from him but nevertheless Thranduil knew that this solitude wouldn’t last no matter how much he wanted it too, sooner or later he would have to meet face to face with Thorin.

  
Thranduil felt his head began to throb once again as he took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves, he was getting a little better and controlling himself although it seemed to be more of a result that his feuded states were happening more frequently so he had the opportunity to do so in the first place. Thranduil had already cleared a portion of the room completely bare except a comfortable rug on the floor; he still felt he needed his meditation routine. He had originally used it to suppress the memories but something made him take pause on using the same technique as he had before he actually wanted to see what effect it would have on his psyche if he began to process the memory little by little, not to ignore the assault but rather allow it to surface…this would be a painful and agonizing journey he had decided upon but he felt it was the only way to further survive this.

  
He sat in complete silence of his room and simply concentrated on his breathing for a long while before he reached to the farthest corner of his mind where he had placed the memory of which he had tried so hard to forget. The memory itself was fragmented, he knew what had happened to him but the exact details were hazed and remained only as bits and pieces, he had hoped the memory would have been obliterated completely but it seemed near impossible and strangely enough part of him now wanted to remember more clearly.

  
He had spent so much time and energy trying to keep the memories away, trying to keep himself sane at the same time however he would not be able to process the pain if he couldn’t remember it.

  
Thranduil could practically feel the sensations when in a deep meditation, he could grasp at his memories of happier times and relive those moments even the taste of wine and food, he could recall and clarify the memory through other senses he had. Thranduil opened his eyes momentarily, he remembered he had drank a goblet of wine that Thorin had given him, apparently it had been drugged which was what made him so weak and unable to defend himself, he vaguely remembered the taste it having been a bold and strong vintage with an earthy and dry taste to it and some type of herb that he couldn’t quite place. He could remember the loud dining hall and the fatigue he felt after drinking but that was where the memory stopped the next thing he could recall was a sharp pain in his arms, more like a stinging sensation, not so much painful more like a pressure that would make one hiss in discomfort rather than scream…although he could recall it becoming increasingly worse as time progressed….but why did his arms hurt? Thranduil didn’t recall as he didn’t remember broken bones although the memory was fragmented…what exactly had happened to him that night?

  
Thranduil shook his head furiously as if he was trying to clear it, he didn’t want to actually remember! It simply hurt too much to keep on going like he was now, he was losing himself more and more each day and it wasn’t getting better, and he no longer had any type of support system that he had previously. The one person he had relied on most he had practically forced to leave his side wanting him to not only be away from Thorin but also to stand beside his son to guide and help him through taking on the responsibilities on the Kingdom. Aldewin had done the same thing with him when his father had died, in all actuality Thranduil being thrust unto the throne at such an early age was unheard of and many people doubted his abilities to successfully ascend the throne and properly and competently take upon the responsibilities required of him and Aldewin was one of the few that stood by him and stayed loyal through the difficult change in leadership. Eventually Thranduil learned how to satisfy his council and people and prove himself a true leader and King although it took time but Thranduil believed if he didn’t have the support of Aldewin he would have never made it as far as he did…and Thranduil had sent him away, when he truly needed him and wanted him the most.

  
Thranduil had left his chamber after being unable to meditate, he had tried to remember more of the fractured memory of his assault but still it seemed to elude him so he thought a walk might do him good, if nothing else he could familiarize himself with the mountain as he would be here for a little while at least.

  
As he walked he began to feel a little better despite the guards that were following him around, at least they maintained their distance and didn’t crowd him, he was studying the mountain as he passed by what looked like a grand hall, a room that possibly held celebrations of some sort and for some reason Thranduil felt compelled to investigate further and as soon as he entered the room he was bombarded with images and sensations that were previously lost to him before, but he could remember now, being here things seemed more clear as if this place could bring everything into focus once more.

  
Thranduil sat at one of the large tables and closed his eyes. He could practically hear the loud chattering of various guests and the taste of wine upon his lips, people cheering in unison in a toast for the honored fallen and music playing away in the distance…he remembered this. He stood and walked over to two large wooden doors and upon opening them he noticed it to be a wine cellar of sorts. He scanned the bottles and barrels; he wanted to know what it was that he was drinking that night and after a moment he disregarded the thought of asking Thorin and grabbed a random bottle opening it and taking a sip before spitting it out although not in disgust it simply wasn’t the right wine so he grabbed another bottle and did the same.

 

  
***

  
Thorin sat in his study going over a few documents and letters when one of his servants came inside and personally delivered him a letter that was from Mirkwood, although the letter was not addressed to him as it was actually addressed to Thranduil which confused him. It wasn’t completely odd as it was actually practical his son would write to him to see how he fared but something inside Thorin made him think it wasn’t Legolas that it was that insufferable guard trying to maintain contact with him, Thorin considered destroying the letter but it concerned him to think that if Thranduil was expecting a letter and had not received it he would become even more combative than before and Thorin couldn’t risk that…although he could read this letter and see the exchange between the two, it might give him some insight into the relationship and possibly help him to destroy it.

 

_Dearest Thranduil,_

  
_I promised to write to you at least once a week but I find myself unable to keep it to that minimum as my thoughts and concerns for your well being plague me every moment I am unable to be by your side. I wanted you to know that we all arrived safely back in Mikwood, and while Prince Legolas was somewhat wary about assuming the responsibilities of the kingdom he is faring quite well and trust in the fact that I am by his side guiding him in much the same fashion I guided you and while I am sure he can handle this position he still wishes for you safe return as I do._

  
_I know you are only doing what you think is right and Legolas knows you are doing this to protect him but I am still unsure if I agree with you decision, I would greatly appreciate knowing how long we must be separated from one another as I am unsure what to do with myself as my life has always been for you, this sense of obligation had only intensified since our relationship has evolved into one of love. I miss you and it has only been a few days since we departed from Erebor, I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit write back to me soon as I will await it with baited breath._

  
_-Your loyal love Aldewin._

 

Thorin pondered the letter for a moment as he went about re-sealing it so Thranduil would be none the wiser that he had read it at all and he could continue to be a third party to their conversations. He would need a hand in intercepting every letter that the two sent to one another but that wouldn’t be a difficult task as all letters would not be sent personally but rather than by raven and that was something Thranduil didn’t know how to do so he would leave the task in another’s hands. As Thorin called an attendant to give the letter to Thranduil but to continue to allow any letters from Mirkwood to be given to him first and then delivered to Thranduil without him knowing any other had touched it.

  
Once the attendant left Thorin gave a heavy sigh, the letter he had hoped would have held more sensitive information but it was relatively tame and it seemed Thranduil’s guard for the moment was wanting to reassure Thranduil that his home and his people were safe and that he actually disagrees with his King and that he misses him…but all relatively tame nothing that would help Thorin get closer to Thranduil.

  
Thorin was disturbed in his study when a nervous attendant came into his room, he was rambling on about the Elvin lord and that he should come himself, once Thorin arrived he was shocked at the amount of bottles on the floor of his wine cellar and it seemed that the elf wasn’t even drinking them! He was practically taste testing the entire lot!  
“What do you think you are doing!?” Thorin yelled unable to help himself although Thranduil seemed unaffected by his tone.

  
“What was it?” Thranduil asked seemingly frustrated. “I have tasted dozens of bottle but nothing tastes the same as whatever it was you gave me that night…what was it, what vintage, what age, I need to know which one it is.” Thranduil said rambling a little in irritation at his lack of success at finding it himself.

  
Thorin was confused for a moment on what Thranduil was even asking him ‘what was what?’ he thought before he realized Thranduil wanted to know what wine he was drinking the night Thorin had assaulted him…why Thorin was unsure but Thranduil seemed so frustrated he decided to help him. Thorin went to the far end of the cellar and selected a bottle and handed it to Thranduil. “This is it…although I had added a ground herb that would induce sleep into your glass, that’s sure to offset the taste a little.” Thorin explained.

  
For some reason or another that Thorin couldn’t deduce, Thranduil wanted to know what Thorin had given him that night that left him at the dwarf’s mercy. There was no need to sugar coat the truth of the matter, they both knew what happened and there was no use denying it so being straightforward was the best approach.

  
“What was the herb?” Thranduil asked holding the bottle tightly as if was a life line of some sort.

  
“Dried and ground Valerian Root with Tipton's weed…neither had much of a flavor or aroma so I guessed your Elvin senses wouldn’t detect it, and the wine itself has a very strong earthy flavor to mask it even more” Thorin said eyeing Thranduil curiously, he himself was curious on why Thranduil wanted to know in the first place wasn’t he trying to forget? If that was the case why did he want to know details about what he drank that night?

  
“Why…why does this matter to you?” Thorin asked seeing a strange expression in Thranduil’s eyes one he had never seen before so he didn’t know it’s meaning at all.

  
“You…planned the entire event before I had even arrived that night, you were even uncertain if I was to even make an appearance…there is still so much that I do not understand and something inside me makes me want to understand, I’ve tried so desperately to destroy the memory of what you did to me that’s it’s shattered and fragmented I don’t recall everything that happened that night and considering I can’t forget it completely although not from lack of trying…I thought that maybe…” Thranduil took a step back from Thorin toward the door.

  
Thorin nodded now understanding. “As I have said before if you need anything you need but ask…I can sympathize that this is a very sensitive endeavor you have decided upon but I do remember what happened, I never forgot…I could help you.” Thorin offered.

  
“You think I want that? Allowing you to tell me each motion and action you took upon me so you can relive the experience all over again? No, I still have no desire to see you and you promised to respect that…regardless of you want to _‘want’_ to help me I can handle this on my own.” Thranduil said leaving the cellar and going back to the solitude of his room with the wine in hand.

  
***

  
Sorry everyone for the late update, I had a hard time with this chapter (also my computer was in the shop) but YAY! for Thranduil looks like he is taking the next step needed in his recovery and while he may not *want* Thorin’s help I think he might be needed it ^_~ comments and suggestions are always appreciated! Let me know what you think!

 

 


	11. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 11

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 11  
Chapter: 11 of 15  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Yay! I seem to be getting over my writers block, to everyone who suffers the same plight keep working at it, it gets better!

***

Aldewin sat in Thranduil’s study helping with the daily paperwork that came to the young prince as he still seemed a little overwhelmed by the amount of work it took to run this Kingdom and as Thranduil and Legolas had been gone for several days and the workload was more than usual and Aldewin had enough knowledge on everything to be able to complete some of the bulk and elevate some of the pressure of Legolas. He was still working when Legolas entered the room and seemed surprised that Aldewin was still at his desk among a mass of papers and documents.

“You should get some rest Aldewin, I know you are just trying to help and I appreciate everything you have done for me since we returned home but this paperwork can wait.” Legolas said knowing that this long trusted friend and guard of his father’s was a tremendous aid in helping him find his footing within this new role of acting-king but working himself into exhaustion would do neither of them any good.

Aldewin shook his head _'no'_  to Legolas’ comment as he stopped working for just a moment. “I doubt I will find nay rest tonight my prince…I mean acting King Legolas…it’s best I keep busy least I try and go rescue your father with my idle hands.” Aldewin said knowing he would try just that if he didn’t have something to do. He was trying to keep himself as occupied as possible but every instant he found with a moment to himself all he could think of was stealing Thranduil away from the wretched mountain and deplorable dwarf…it was physically painful to think of what could befall his beautiful king while being there all alone, and with his fragile mental state it made it all the more concerning so in desperation he was throwing himself into work so to not think too much upon the matter and be unable to restrain himself from doing something foolish.

“Why don’t you go rescue my father? And don’t call me King, acting or otherwise. My father is still the king and I am the prince, that has not changed.” Legolas said firmly.

“I can’t rescue him…your father ordered me not to, and to help you with the responsibilities of being King. I cannot disobey a direct order from my King. And as for you, while your father is away you are acting King Legolas and you need to perform in that capacity.” Aldewin said.

“What do you mean? Am I not fulfilling my duties as expected?” Legolas asked now unsure of himself.

“Of course you are, but that’s not the issue. It’s your behavior that is concerning the council as they can sense your apprehension and trepidation, you need to create calm among them and the only way to do that is to be calm yourself and take your position as serious as a the real King would…they are looking for guidance and you are the one they need it from.” Aldewin said.

Legolas nodded slowly taking Aldewin’s word to heart and soon felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Do not worry, everything considered you are doing a superb job, you just need to focus a little more and try not to worry about your father.” Aldewin added after a moment.

“Like you?” Legolas said obviously catching Aldewin off guard.”I can see how much you miss him and I have noticed how close you two are to one another…it goes beyond friendship and you being my father’s guard doesn’t it?” Legolas asked noticing the bond between his father and guard and wondering if it was more than that.

Aldewin sighed. “If you’re asking if I love him the answer is yes and he feels the same…I have the luxury to worry about him and that’s why I don’t want to rest and I want to work, it helps keep my mind occupied.” He said going back to the paperwork.

Legolas nodded understanding how this must feel for Aldewin. “I approve.” Legolas said catching Aldewin’s gaze for a moment. “If you ever hurt him though I’ll have you executed.” He added before leaving the room.

***

Thranduil walked into his room and sat the bottle of wine down on the nearby table he took a glass from the nearby cabinet but noticed a letter upon his desk and forgot about everything else when he realized it was from Aldewin and he quickly as possible opened it and read everything carefully a feeling a sense of relief wash over him, he was glad that Legolas seemed to be doing well with the responsibilities as Thranduil knew it was no easy task. However he did feel a little guilty at Aldewin’s predicament, he also felt the sting of being separated but unlike himself Aldewin had no choice in the matter because while they may be lovers Thranduil was still his King and he had ordered this separation for both of their own good…he needed Aldewin to know this. Thranduil grabbed a quill and parchment intent on writing him immediately.

 

_Lord Aldewin,_

_I am sorry that you will not receive this letter in good spirits as I would love to calm you in some way although I can only assure you that for now me being here in Erebor is for the best even though it separates me from you. I need you to understand that knowing you are safe in Mirkwood is of great comfort to me and I will return to you one day, patience is all we need before we will be reunited. I miss you as well, you have always been by m side through my entire life and I cannot shake this feeling of loss, however I do believe everything will be all right, I love you and I will come home to you._

_-with love Thranduil_

 

Normally Thranduil would have written more But for now this would suffice to sooth his lover as he left his room finding a raven by himself and sending it to Mirkwood, a raven from Erebor would be accepted at this time for the simple fact that he was here in Erebor and they were extending aid to them…Aldewin would receive this comfort soon and in turn he could expect more words from him lover.

Thranduil once again sat alone in the isolation of his room where he felt at least somewhat safe from everything around him; he was currently staring down a glass of wine that sat in front of him. Once back in his room, with the wine he had acquired from Thorin, he instantly retrieved a glass and poured it all too ready to drink its contents but something inside him make him take pause and he sat the glass down on the table and was now simply looking at it as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He wondered what would happen if he did drink it and it stirred up memories of his assault…was that something he really wanted? Did he really want to remember everything that happened to him and be forced to deal with it in a different way? Was this truly the only option he had left? Thranduil didn’t know the answers to his own questions as he grabbed the glass. His hands trembled greatly making the wine spill over the edges of the glass as he brought it to his lips and took a large swallow, barely even tasting it as he did so and then he took another mouthful allowing the wine to flow slowly over his tongue this time before swallowing once more. Thranduil repeated this action over and over each time slower and more precise allowing the flavor and aroma to take him back…back to where it all began, his eyes closed and he could remember a little more clearly now.

Loud cheering…that was the first thing he remembered, the grand hall where a celebrations was being held, it was during a toasting ceremony of sorts, after the battle of the five armies…the honored dead, the celebrated ancestors, they were toasting to them all but something forced him to leave the hall…was it the drug Thorin had given him? He could remember he had stumbled catching himself on the nearby wall, yes at that point he knew he had been drugged but it was quick to disorient him and even quicker to induce sleep.

Thranduil frowned at this point, realizing he had no idea what happened to him during his state of unconsciousness…and there really was only one other person who knew and it was the last person Thranduil wanted to see. He certainly didn’t want to give Thorin a free opportunity to revel in his past actions against Thranduil, while Thranduil did sense a type of remorse in Thorin in regards to what he had done he wasn’t so sure if that remorse stemmed from the suffering of his people or if he truly did have some type of regret for what he had done…not what his actions caused but the action itself.

It wasn’t completely impossible though to gain more of his memory because while he didn’t know what happened while he was unaware he did somehow end up with Thorin in his bedroom, so it was easy enough to deduce that he was simply followed by Thorin and taken there after he passed out. So Thranduil’s next step in possibly regaining all of his memory…was Thorin’s bedroom. He still felt the same seize in his chest when he was there earlier and his son was lying so helplessly on Thorin’s bed when he made a deal to stay here in Erebor with Thorin of which he no idea how long he needed to stay for, he wasn’t really looking for a re-visit but it was the next step in his recovery…what he hoped to be his recovery anyway.

Thorin’s rooms were guarded like a fortress there was no way he could sneak inside, which once again lead him to seek help from the one person he least wanted to see. Thorin had promised not to see him so it was forcing Thranduil to actually seek him out which made the situation irritating that he actually had to recant his earlier statement, he didn’t want Thorin to misunderstand this situation he needed to be very clear on why he wanted to go to his rooms why he wanted to be reminded of such things…why he needed to know.

It took Thranduil some time before he finally tracked down Thorin who was actually outside the palace in the garden area. Thranduil did notice how two guards followed his every step as he wandered about the palace but upon entering the garden they seemed too had disappeared, apparently if Thranduil was in the company of their King they no longer felt the need to follow him. Thranduil watched Thorin silently for a moment who didn’t seem to even notice he was there as he appeared to be just taking in a peaceful moment to himself at the time and enjoying the scenery but it didn’t take long before he registered Thranduil there with him.

“King Thranduil.” He said with a low bow before straightening up and looking at him intently, the last time he saw him was in the cellar in which Thranduil had ruined over a dozen bottles of wine looking for a specific one. “I wanted to know if the wine I gave you helped in any way.” He asked not wanting this opportunity to slip by since he seemed not to be nearly as hostile as before.

Thranduil swallowed thickly this being a little more difficult that he had anticipated. “It helped a little…I need to ask a favor from you, I was wondering if you would grant me access to your rooms.” Thranduil said a series of strange and confusing emotions surging through him when he asked.

Thorin frowned at the odd request. “Could you please explain why you need to be in my private quarters? I’m curious why you are seeking to remind yourself of what happened between us that night, you said so yourself it would be better for you if you could simply forget.” Thorin said.

“I can’t forget…I tried so very hard to obliterate the memory but I can’t banish it completely and my feuded states and mental breaks are all I need to prove that my attempts to ignore it are no longer a viable solution, I think I need to face what happened to me confront it and process the pain rather than avoid it as I have been. However in trying to forget and pushing the memory to the back of my mind it has become fragmented and I cannot remember everything that happened, I need things to stimulate my memory like the wine and your room where everything happened…it will help bring the memory into focus so that I can process it.” Thranduil explained while keeping his eyes downcast not wanting to look at Thorin at all.

“What has caused this new and somewhat radical decision of yours? You were so bent and adamant about keeping this locked away inside that you never revealed anything about what happened between us for three long years…that guard of yours is the only other than you ever told, even your son doesn’t known and now you just suddenly decide to let it all out?” Thorin asked somewhat baffled at the choices Thranduil was making.

“It’s not as if I intend on spreading what happened to me, I still have every intention of keeping this mostly to myself but for the few that already know and those whom I chose to confide in later are necessary I need to be able to rely on others and help me through this…I believe this is the best option for me, if you are worried about this causing problems for you and your people you can put your mind at ease for I have no intention to start a war or cut off the aid my people are extending to yours. My recovery has nothing to do with all that, this is for me, so that I can one day be myself again…I miss who I was before and if this will help me I will do whatever needs to be done.” Thranduil said finally lifting his gaze to meet Thorin’s. “So…can I have access to your rooms?”

Thorin thought for a moment. “Provided I am there you can have unlimited access…but I cannot let you wander my rooms without me there, is that acceptable?” Thorin asked.  
“I will probably need you there…you seem to have a slight romanticism about our past, you remember it clearly don’t you? I might need you to explain a few things to me.” Thranduil said.

“I might have idealized what transpired between us but trust me when I say that I wished now that it never happened, not just because it caused anguish with my people but more so that I had hurt you so terribly with such little regard to what it would do to you, at the time I thought I wanted to kill you.” Thorin said taking a step closer to Thranduil.

“But didn’t you?” Thranduil said still looking into Thorin’s eyes. “I do remember you saying that I should die fighting, you wanted it to be slow and painful and raping me was the perfect way to do it”

“At the time I did hate you and I wanted you to suffer, I wanted you to despair and regret…but it’s different now, I had never suspected I would remorse and bear witness to my own victim and now it is I who despair and regret…with my entire mind, heart, and body I am truly sorry for what I did to you and I will do anything to help you come back to yourself and these action are not for me, because I feel that the shame of my actions I will never be rid of, it’s for you…” Thorin said seeing a true surprise in Thranduil’s eyes at his words.

“Take me to your rooms…I do accept your admission of guilt…although I’m not sure I will ever actually forgive you for what you did to me because your actions have stained us both, it’s simply too late to change the past.” Thranduil said as they left the garden together and made their way to Thorin’s room.

***

Aldewin took a deep sigh as he walked to long paths of the palace, the paperwork had a mind numbing effect and he thought he would make his rounds before he dove back into it once more. All seemed well within the palace and most were already tucked safely in their beds. The requested items had been shipped to Erebor along with young saplings and cold winter crop seeds and if they were diligent in their efforts this would never happen again but even if they did start farming as soon as spring they still might have trouble getting back on their feet it might take a season or two before anything productive would happen…two seasons…would Thranduil be away that long? Aldewin couldn’t help but ponder these unpleasant thoughts and soon he found himself outside Thranduil’s rooms and he hesitated a little but disregarded it and went inside.

Aldewin had always been comfortable and accustomed to Thranduil’s rooms, he had spent countless hours with Thranduil in private council, going over reports, or simply spending time with one another, they were great friends and Aldewin had hopes that they would be even better lovers but it pained him so much knowing that in their first moments as such they were so cruelly separated by Thranduil’s own doing and it simply wasn’t right and being away from him was torturing Aldewin on the inside.

He walked over to the bedside table where Thranduil kept a bottle of vanilla oil that he used on his hands, his skin always had the faint scent of vanilla. Aldewin smiled as he opened the bottle and breathed in the sweet aroma, he poured a small amount into the palm of his hands and then proceeded to wash it across the nearby pillow and laid down burying his face in the soft down cushion and breathed deeply the scent that Thranduil always had about him, it made him feel a little better being among Thranduil’s things, breathing in his scent, it helped a little but it would never satisfy him…he would only be satisfied when his king was back safely in his arms once more and only then would he be fulfilled and whole once more.

***

Thanks so much for reading! I know these past few chapters have been a little shorter than usual and I apologize for that and I hope you guys are still interested, Thranduil and Thorin are going to be working through some issues very soon and I hope you will enjoy what comes next!

Comments are always appreciated!


	12. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Thranduil are finally going to be spending some time together but who's to say if this will all be for better or for worse.

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 12  
Chapter: 11 of 15  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Yay! I seem to be getting over my writers block, to everyone who suffers the same plight keep working at it, it gets better! Check out my block fixer fiction “Various Thranduil” ^_^

 

***

  
It took Thranduil some minutes before he was finally able to push open the ominous double doors that would lead him to Thorin’s bedroom, he could still clearly remember Legolas laying so helpless upon Thorin’s bed but a few days ago which in itself was frightening enough and now he actually wished to stir up memories when he was in the same position. He could feel a chill run up his spine and it was almost as if all the air had vanished from his lungs, he wanted to turn away to forget this idea entirely and simply wait Thorin out and eventually Thorin was sure to let him go home…but he had come this far hadn’t he? He needed to remember…his memory wasn’t completely blank; there were moments where he remembered, a flash of something that would trigger those violent reactions he had from time to time, a response to his assault…but it was only for a moment only to disappear inside him like a puff of breath upon glass he needed, to bring these memories into focus…even if it was painful he needed this.

  
Thranduil glanced behind himself where Thorin stood, respectfully keeping himself at a distance so not to further alarm Thranduil, he was putting a lot of pressure on himself at the moment and he didn’t need a further hindrance from Thorin being too close it could easily send him into a panic. Thranduil at first simply studied the room from a distance not going inside even if the door were open. He needed to take this slowly and be sure that what he was doing wouldn’t overwhelm him…he was here to try and heal himself not make things worse so he took a deep breath and took a few cautious steps inside the room.

  
It was somewhat dark in the room, there were torches lip upon the walls and a large fireplace which were burning brightly but it still had this heavy and somewhat oppressive feel to it which only intensified due to the low lighting. For a moment he studied the room closely, he really didn’t remember what it looked like so he was studying it. The large four poster bed was carved from Blackwood with deep violets and black sheets with silver highlights and edging, all the furniture was from the same Blackwood with a polished gray stone floor with plush rugs, he really had no recollection of the room in all honesty, but it was safe to say he simply wasn’t paying any attention at the time, much more occupied with Thorin at the time to admire any aesthetics the room had. This room where so much of his pain originated from…it still felt somewhat foreign to him though.

This room was vastly different from his own room which was adorned with oranges and yellows, warm colors with bright golden wood and golden stitching, nothing like Thorin’s which was cold and dark, truly as different as night and day.

  
Thranduil ventured a little further inside and walked around slowly taking it all in, the room itself didn’t seem to stir up any memories as he was hoping it would, but nevertheless he needed to give it time. He glanced at the large fireplace, and upon the mantle he noticed Thorin had placed his crown upon it, he *did* remember something now. He remembered Thorin taking it off his head, but for some reason or another he was gentle with it and placed it upon his mantle as if he was worried about damaging it in some way…Thranduil picked it up off the mantle and looked at Thorin.

  
“Why did you keep it? Is this some type of trophy for you?” Thranduil said his tone low and dangerous as he gripped it tightly in his hands hearing the entwined braches of the crown snap under the pressure.

  
Thorin slowly nodded his head. “At first yes, I would look upon it often and remember…you had forgotten about it when you left my room to return home, your crown and your fathers robe, I had them both taken good care of. If you want it back by all means keeps it.” Thorin said he wouldn’t lie to Thranduil about why he kept the crown as it served him as a reminder of their time together but it seemed useless now, if he could he would do anything for that night to have never transpired so he didn’t want a reminder of it anymore either. Thorin could clearly feel the shame inside him at the numerous times he had used the crown in his own sexual fantasies to reach completion, he would be lying if he said that he still didn’t fantasize about having Thranduil in his arms once more but he only wanted that if Thranduil consented…but for the time that was a dream much to grand to come true.

  
Thranduil frowned at Thorin’s response. “…I don’t want it… much in the same fashion I didn’t want my father’s robe back.” Thranduil said going over to the fire in the room and tossing it inside finding a slight gratification while he watched it burn. “I’m not really inclined to let you have it either though.” Thranduil said while walking a little more around the room.

  
Thranduil closed his eyes trying to focus on the moment Thorin took off his crown and he could remember some type of pain that accompanied that memory, it wasn’t a dull throb of some sort more like a cutting sensation that would make one hiss in pain rather than cry out…his arms…yes, that’s what it was! Thorin had bound his arms behind his back with a thin cord like rope that cut into his skin, one wrist to each elbow which left him almost completely immobile and each movement caused that thin cord to cut deeper into his skin.

  
“Why did you use that thin rope to bind me? I was already weakened so why did you find it necessary to tie me up?” Thranduil asked looking around the room a bit more.

  
“You were…combative with me, angry, and while weakened you still managed to give me a rather good knock in my face, it was necessary to limit your movement as much as possible, moving would cause the rope to cut further, so to spare yourself pain you were still…mostly” Thorin explained suddenly feeling guilt slice into the pit of his stomach once more, he was unaccustomed to feelings of guilt and regret and certainly didn’t have the stomach for it, but he was doing this for Thranduil and he was sure it hurt this elf King much more than it was hurting him.

  
Thranduil closed his eyes momentarily, and although he was trying to remember that detail it wasn’t coming to him, he wanted to know more but trying to process too much information at one time might actually backfire…he needed to take this one step at a time.

  
“I…” Thranduil began but stopped his train of thought seeming to have cut off. Swallowing thickly as he sat upon the bed and he could feel the luxury of the sheets underneath his palms, and he vaguely remembered what they felt like beneath his naked body but he was distracted from the feel, he was more focused on the feeling of his own body, the pain in his arms and that burning and prickling sensation in his thighs…that confused him greatly as he didn’t remember being aroused, how could he possibly be aroused by the experience, the thought actually disgusted him to the point of nearly making him sick.

  
“You said you drugged my drink…did you use some sort of aphrodisiac on me as well?” Thranduil had to ask for he needed to know that he had found no sick twisted pleasure in Thorin’s actions.

  
“Not in your drink…I…” Thorin paused; having to explain things to Thranduil was becoming a little harder than expected. “I knew you would not succumb to arousal of your own volition, so I used ginger root to excite you, you resisted it quite well, made me angry enough to where I didn’t care to humiliate you by having you reach climax. If you are concerned that you might have enjoyed it at some point or on some level trust me in knowing that you didn’t, you hated every moment.” Thorin said somberly.

  
Thranduil did actually find gratification that he hadn’t enjoyed it, he would never be able to accept it had he even enjoyed one moment of the rape…it would make him just a perverted and horrible as Thorin and he refused to be held in the same status as him.

  
“I think…I think I’ve had enough for one day.” Thranduil said taking a nervous swallow. He made a motion to leave but before he did Thorin stopped him for a moment.

  
“I can help you Thranduil, I understand that you might not really want my help but I am the only other witness to everything and I haven’t forgotten anything.” Thorin said actually seeing Thranduil consider it.

  
“I know that, I wouldn’t have sought you out if it didn’t, I just can’t take anymore today.” Thranduil said his voice cracking a little as he spoke. “I need to be alone now.” He said leaving the room his head throbbing and his heart wrenching painfully in his chest, it hurt…it still hurt so much and he wanted nothing more than to be home, to take comfort in his homeland once more.

  
***

  
He stumbled back into his own room and barely managed to reach the bed before collapsing into it, gripping the sheets tightly in his fists as fragmented images flashed before his eyes in such a rush he couldn’t make any sense of them, he glanced at his bedside table where the letter from Aldewin was resting and he grabbed the parchment almost desperately clutching it to his chest and tried to focus on something else and slowly the terrible flashes ebbed away into sweet moments and nurturing instances where Aldewin would sooth and take care of him as he always had…it wasn’t only the woodland that Thranduil missed it was Aldewin, he had rarely been separated from him and now when he needed support more than ever, he needed him here and this new avenue of healing was difficult and he had no one to take comfort in.

  
Could he bring this up to Thorin? Would he allow Thranduil the simplest of requests as to not be alone in this mountain anymore? If Thorin truly wanted to help him why was he forcing Thranduil to face all of this alone, what harm could there be in allowing him his guard to be by his side once more? Aldewin had said so himself that Legolas was doing a outstanding job in handling the Kingdom and already had many loyal servants and council members that his authority would not be challenged…if that was the case could Aldewin return to him? He knew well enough that removing Aldewin was not a cruelty on Thorin’s part exactly, but he defiantly wanted him out of the way once he discovered their relationship was not strictly platonic and that love had blossomed between them, to what end Thranduil was unsure of though. It seemed despite everything Thorin still held on tenaciously to the possibility of some type of reconciliation between himself and Thranduil, he seemed almost desperate to prove that he regretted what he had done and wanted nothing more than to assist Thranduil in healing the wounds he caused however, it was that fact that made it seem impossible for Thranduil to even attempt to forgive him…this was all Thorin’s doing and it didn’t seem right to forgive him no matter how much he was trying to make amends, for it would simply never be enough.

  
He stood up from his position on the bed and went to the desk taking out a pen and parchment, he needed to speak to Aldewin again to ensure the safety of his Kingdom and his son, and if all was well he would speak to Thorin about allowing him companionship other than himself…Thranduil knew that Thorin didn’t like Aldewin but that was far from being fair as Thranduil didn’t really like Thorin much either but he endured it nonetheless. He left and found a raven himself and sent the letter although he found himself gazing longingly at the thick forest in the distance as he watched the raven fly toward it with envy, he wished desperately he could fly as well, jump off the terrace of this mountain and with an immeasurable amount of speed whisk away home to be with his beloved once more, to be with his son, and take comfort in his vast woodland that offered him a strength that could never be duplicated.

  
Thranduil remembered vividly his slight brush with death when he had first returned home after his assault. It had been a long a tiring journey back home, he had to stop riding several times simply because it was just too painful to ride in his condition and walking wasn’t considerably better but it did allow him a break, although it still took twice as long to return home than it usually did. He refused to see anyone once he was back home, not his son and not even Aldewin and he shut himself away in his room. He almost immediately took a hot bath, barely below scalding and he nearly scrubbed himself raw in some places, he wanted to desperately to see a healer to gain some relief to his pain but it would risk too many questions that he couldn’t answer.

  
It was strange when he awoke the following day he actually felt better, most of the pain had vanished and he was mostly healed so the remainder of his ordeal was fading away. At first Thranduil had been able to function normally, he went his council meetings, made time with his child and friends, and at least he could pretend like things were normal until nightmares began to plague his sleep. The dreams were so vivid and terrifying that he tried to sleep a little as possible so not to be reminded but the lack of sleep was causing problems. The sleep deprivation made him short with his council and even his own son at times and it wasn’t making things any easier for him. His head would throb and he would be unable to breath and he would lapse into nothingness only to wake up to complete destruction…others were beginning to notice his strange behavior and Thranduil didn’t know what he could do, things were not getting better and unfortunately he knew his kingdom would suffer because of this…so he thought it might be better if he simply had died that night, but to give Thorin the pleasure of knowing he destroyed him, no, if he was going to die it would be on his own terms.

  
That night he was out upon his balcony, it was one of the highest places in the palace and one of the few that one could see the vast forest yet still be inside the fortress. Mirkwood was truly beautiful to his eyes; he could hear the sweet melody being carried in the trees and their comforting embrace, ever since he returned home he could practically feel the woodland trying to comfort him and it did help a little but the fact of the matter was it wasn’t enough and that fact actually shamed him. He stepped over the railing of his balcony and looked down, it wasn’t a very long fall, but enough that the impact would surely kill him and this terrible nightmare he was forced to live would be over finally…he was so close to ending it all. Thranduil sighed remember that time and how close he had come to ending his own life, but he also remembered the door to his chamber being opened distracted him from the task and his son was looking for him and that brought Thranduil back to the reality that he simply couldn’t leave his son alone without his mother and then without his father….he simply couldn’t do it and soon he found meditation and herbs to help him sleep and he slowly came back to himself except for the momentary lapses in memory things were tolerable at least so the appeal of suicide no longer festered in his heart. It still disturbed Thranduil somewhat that he had actually considered suicide and nearly carried it out as well but under the circumstances he understood it too it just wasn’t a very honorable moment of his life or anything.

  
He slowly walked away from the raven sanctuary and began to make his way back to his room slowly. Once back in his own room he walked to his balcony. From this position he was able to see the vast open landscape and Dale in the distance as well as his beloved forest and he closed his eyes for a moment breathing in the fresh air…it was strange but even though Thranduil had to stop from remembering too much too soon, but he did feel a little better after figuring out a few things, as it was now it seemed for the better he could obtain a little more of his memory and slowly process the pain little by little which was easier than trying to process it all at once. He still felt the terrible pang of loneliness deep in his stomach though, he would have to ask Thorin to allow him some sort of companionship.

  
***

  
Thorin was sitting in his garden thinking about the events that had come to pass over the last few days, Thranduil finally making contact with him was defiantly progress but he was fairly certain it wasn’t positive progress, Thranduil had only sought him out from a lack of options…he didn’t want to spend time with him it was the mere fact that he had no other choice not to mention the reason *why* he wanted to talk to him was to learn of the terrible things Thorin had done to him which was not exactly a great foundation to rebuild any type of relationship with him. Until Thranduil had come here to Erebor he never realized how truly damaged Thranduil was, when Mirkwood didn’t seem to suffer from the events he simply assumed the Elvin-King to pass the event off carelessly but he soon realized it was not that simple. Thranduil had been suffering all this time, for three years he had been tormented by Thorin’s actions and in the attempt of self preservation he had accidentally made things worse. Thranduil’s attempt to destroy the memory was unsuccessful and as a result it was trying to surface but with it being fragmented it ended up exploding into a violent array of emotions and destructive tendencies…Thranduil was truly broken and Thorin would do everything he could to repair that damage. He was about to go back to his rooms and was surprised to see Thranduil standing a few paces away from him, it seemed he had been there for a few moments just staring at Thorin while he was lost in thought.

  
Thorin opened his mouth to speak but only closed it again after a moment not sure what to say and the two stood in silence until Thorin thought of something to actually say. “I’m glad you are finally visiting the garden, I had hopes of you coming here sooner.” He said stepping a few feet back from Thranduil wanting to give him plenty of space.  
Thranduil looked at the garden for a moment but he wasn’t here for the garden. “I’m not here to enjoy the greenery; I have a request to make about my accommodations.” He said.

  
Thorin frowned. “I thought I had provided you with an excellent room…is it not to your liking?” Thorin asked.

  
“No, the room is ideal, it a personal adjustment…I am not a solitary person Thorin yet you have restricted me to being mostly alone while here, you are the only other person I have spoken to while I have been here and even then our conversations have been brief…or have been in helping me remember things.” Thranduil swallowed a little nervous about asking. “I want to have a companion from home; I want to request that you allow my guard Aldewin to return to my side.” Thranduil said.

  
Thorin bristled at the request unable to help himself from becoming instantly jealous. “You understand I have reservations against that, it was your choice to stay here and send him away in the first place and now you request his return…why him? If you need companionship you can request another.” Thorin said.

  
“No other would be suitable…I am trying to piece together my memory of what happened between us and no other knows of this except him. He would be a great asset in allowing me the support I will undoubtedly need the more I begin to remember.” Thranduil explained.

  
“Am I not enough support?!” Thorin yelled. “I am doing everything I can to help you through this and yet it still isn’t enough for you, you need your guard still!” Thorin could see Thranduil flinch at his tone and take a step back so he calmed himself a little, although he was still angry, he wanted that blasted guard away from Thranduil if he was near it would make it impossible for Thorin to get close to Thranduil. “Are you not even going to admit that you want him because you are lovers? Isn’t that why you want him here?” Thorin asked.

  
Thranduil frowned. “The fact that we are lovers is not the issue though, I need support and Aldewin had been by my side for my entire life…there is no other I trust more. Also while you are supporting me Thorin you must understand that in processing the memory you are not exactly the person best suited to hold me afterward…you raped me Thorin and I am trying to remember the details of that assault while you are the only one to help me piece it together I cannot phantom allowing you to soothe my worries afterward, I fear you would only make it worse and I would retreat to the much simpler avenue of trying to forget simply to avoid you all the more…is that something you would rather have than allowing me the simplest comfort of a friend?” Thranduil asked searching Thorin’s face.

  
“He is not a simple friend though! He means something special to you, it is probably the first meaningful relationship you have had with anyone in three long years…he is not worthy, can’t you see that?” Thorin said seeing a shocked expression cross Thranduil’s features. “You are of royalty and you deserve nothing less but the same in a partner and no matter his status as lord and captain he is not of crowned heads nor will he ever be, not even you can’t change that.”

  
Thranduil looked down not wanting to meet Thorin’s eyes. “None of that matters to me Thorin, regardless of my romantic inclinations toward Aldewin he is still my most trusted confidant and the best friend I have ever had…I need him here…please Thorin allow me this comfort.” Thranduil asked the pleading tone clear in his voice.

  
Thorin sighed deeply not wanting to allow this Aldewin to come to Erebor but the desperation in Thranduil voice was real and if he really wanted to help Thranduil he would give Thranduil the external support he would probably need. “If I allow this I will have rules, for one you will not room together, both of you will respect the fact you are in my home and behave admirably, in others words you will not engage in sexual acts under my roof. Also when you are with me he needs to be out of sight and out of mind, we cannot have him interrupting your memory recovery as this is already complicated for the both of us without him making it more difficult…and one more thing…outside of your memory recovery I want to spend some time with you, your avoidance of me is making it impossible for me to amend my mistakes and even if you say it is impossible I want you to grant me at least the opportunity to try.” Thorin paused. “You agree to this and he will be welcomed here in Erebor.”

 

Thranduil did not like the idea of spending more time with Thorin but he could at least offer Thorin an opportunity…what harm could there be in allowing that much?

  
“I agree.”

  
***

 

YAY! Thorin and Thranduil will be spending even MORE time together than before and Aldewin will be returning to Thranduil’s side! I am suspecting some major tension between both Thorin and Aldewin but lets hope they don’t stress Thranduil out the poor thing I think has enough to deal with right now!

  
Comments and kudos are always appreciated!

  
P.S. – Please check out my newest fiction “Various Thranduil” a self challenge fiction in which I ask my readers for pairing and scenario suggestions and do my best to write it for them ^_^ feel free to drop a suggestion for me!

 

 


	13. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 13  
Chapter: 13 of 15  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: Yay! I seem to be getting over my writers block, to everyone who suffers the same plight keep working at it, it gets better! Check out my block fixer fiction “Various Thranduil” ^_^

 

***

 

Legolas sat in his father’s study going over the last few letters and correspondents with the neighboring realms and with those of their kin, he had to explain to them the situation with Erebor, not that his father was practically being held captive there but the supplies they required which in turn would lessen the normalcy of their arrangement until things were more stable. Lothlorien seemed to understand the situation with a little more tact than Imladris had and Legolas once again found himself wishing that his father was here to handle things as he seemed to be the only one able to take care of tense situations and all the negotiations and arrangements that he had handled personally…it still amazed Legolas how his father had been able to handle it all, Thranduil was truly was a born leader and Legolas wasn’t so sure he was. It wasn’t that he wasn’t handling things in Mirkwood well, he was still learning somewhat although he had been able to catch up on all the paperwork that needed taking care of, he had informed the other realms of the situation with Erebor, the council followed him and was growing accustomed to following his orders without question, things were going well and Legolas for the first time since he assumed the throne as Acting-King felt secure in his position…although the thought of his father not coming home soon still filled him with insecurity that he couldn’t seem to shake off no matter how hard he tried.

  
Legolas put the last latter away and wrote another to be sent out and sighed deeply, finally finished with everything although he did have a meeting with the council later in the evening he was happy to have a single moment to himself. He was about to go back to his own rooms for some peace and quiet when Galion entered another letter in hand as he bowed respectfully to him.

  
“Forgive the interruption your majesty but a raven from Erebor had arrived with a letter from your father to you, and I thought it might be something you would want immediately.” Galion said laying the letter on the desk.

  
“Thank you Galion, you may go.” Legolas said opening the letter and reading it immediately.

  
His eyes scanned the letter at first but then he read it more slowly and carefully before he took a nervous swallow placing the letter down and contemplating his next move, it had at first been nothing but his father reassuring him of what was happening in Erebor , that he was all right and that he prayed that Legolas was doing all right as well but there was more of what Legolas didn’t understand and there really was no other he could to talk to about everything except Aldewin so he was making his way toward the guards chamber, coming up to his door knocking softly, he didn’t need to do so as he could walk right in but he had always respected this ancient elf that his father cared for so dearly, so it was simply out of habit.

  
Aldewin was in the process of removing his patrol uniform when he heard a knock on his door. He had taken on more and more duties since he had been forced to return home without Thranduil, he was simply trying to keep himself as busy as possible and with Legolas feeling more secure in his position he no longer needed him to be by his side every second so he had taken on extra patrol duties. Aldewin would still be out in the field had Satiou, his second in command of the royal guardsmen, not practically threatened him to take some time off a get some rest and if it would have done any good he would have objected but decided to listen at least this once knowing his friend only had his best interests in mind. Having left Thranduil alone in Erebor was much harder on Aldewin that he allowed others to know, it was bad enough no one else knew of the situation between Thranduil and Thorin and Aldewin had to keep that knowledge to himself knowing how dangerous it truly was for his King to be there all alone, and with the one person who had hurt him so terribly in the first place…and Aldewin was his guard, the one who was to protect him from any harm at all times, it was already terrible that he had not been able to save him from Thorin the first time but now he was practically being forced from protecting him now and he had never felt so bereft and hapless as he did now.

  
Aldewin shook away those thoughts and went to answer the door, midway through his undress but he really didn’t care. “My Lord.” Aldewin said seeing Legolas there as he stepped aside allowing Legolas to enter. “You needed only to summon me my King.” Aldewin said calling the young prince King still feeling somewhat foreign on his lips but nevertheless it was only appropriate.

  
“I needed to speak with you in private, away from prying eyes and ears…my father sent me a letter and I needed to ask you a few questions as some of it I simply didn’t understand, has he contacted you recently?” Legolas asked first and foremost.

  
“Yes, we have been corresponding regularly since we left Erebor but his letter to me was no cause for alarm or concern at least nothing to indicate need for urgency.” Aldewin said the last letter had had received being rather calm and collected, much like the previous ones.

  
“He said something in reference to some type of recovery he is undertaking in Erebor…that it is going well although becoming more difficult at the same time. Apparently he wanted to know if I was secure enough to take on my responsibilities here without your guidance, as he wishes you to go to him, he expressed a great need of your support but he didn’t wish to receive this unless I was sure I can go on without you.” Legolas seeing a light spark in Aldewin’s eyes, this guard who was usually so expressionless with a well placed neutral mask, it was odd to see such excitement at the prospect of going back to Erebor,

  
“I have not yet decided if I will allow you to leave and go back to him yet Aldewin…” Legolas added after a moment seeing a wave of disappointment cross the guards features.  
“My King…you have not needed my guidance in days and the council has accepted you as their leader during this time, what use am I to you here? Aside from all that you were worried that I was not with him but a few days prior to this, you wanted me to rescue him and now you would deny me to be there?” Aldewin asked.

  
“What is this ‘recovery’ he is speaking of? Why did Thorin go to such extreme measure to lure my father to him? Why did father cut off all communication with Erebor in the first place? What possible reason could he have for staying in Erebor, and why does he need you so desperately at this time?” Legolas shook his head. “I deserve to know these things and I get the feeling you know the answer to all these questions, you *will* answer me and tell me all you know, or I will tell my father I still need you which will force you to obey his command to stay here with me.” Legolas said knowing it was an underhanded technique which he despised using but he loathed not knowing the details of what was going on even more.

  
Aldewin sighed, looking into Legolas’ eyes intently. “I do not know if it is my place to tell you these things Legolas…if I was to cross a line with Thranduil by telling you these things which he does not wish you to know then he would never forgive me, and I do not wish to hurt him any further.” Aldewin paused a moment. “You know he has had problems for a while now, how he destroyed his study his mental lapses and such, he thinks the answers he needs to recover are in Erebor as that was where everything started…if he needs me I do not believe that lying to him and keeping me away is the best course of action.” Aldewin said his nature taking on a more serious tone than before. “If I have to…I will resign my pledge to you and your family, I have worked my entire life to become captain of the royal guards and a servant to the royal family…but I would throw all that away if you see it fit to deny me to be by his side, you know how much I love him and I will not allow anything to stand in my way…you are no exception to that.” He said firmly.

  
Legolas shook his head angrily. “He is my father! I deserve to know what plagues his soul so much, my heart aches with his pain and I cannot sit idly by while he suffers so much…I love him too Aldewin.” Legolas said sadly his eyes stinging with tears, he desperately wanted to know what had happened to his father, wanted to know why all these things were happening. “Can you not understand my position even a little?”

  
“I am sure he will tell you when he is ready, but right now his concern should not be upon you, he needs to take care of himself right now…please, for now Legolas allow me to care for him, allow me to go to him and offer him the support he needs. You know as well as I that he would not ask for such a thing if he didn’t need it desperately, he would think it selfish otherwise.” Aldewin said.

  
Legolas looked away from Aldewin’s gaze. He knew Aldewin was right in everything, his father always thought of other before himself even if it wasn’t obvious, his intentions were usually in the best interest of others even if it caused himself problems. Also it was true that he would not have requested Aldewin unless he truly needed him, he sent Aldewin away to help Legolas after all.

  
“It was Thorin though wasn’t it? Something terrible transpired between them to make him behave this way.” Legolas said seeing Aldewin nod his head in confirmation. “I suppose that’s enough of an answer for now…you will speak to my father about my concerns will you not? Maybe speaking to me could help as well?” Legolas offered.

  
“Perhaps, I will tell him of your questions but I will not place any pressure upon him on the issue, you understand.” Aldewin said as he went to the raven house to send a letter to Erebor of his soon to be arrival.

 

***

 

Two days, it would take at least two days before Aldewin would arrive in Erebor and Thranduil’s need of his support seemed to only intensify. He couldn’t bear to remember anything more so he had decided to wait a few days before he continued, at least by that time Aldewin would once more be by his side and he could take comfort in his presence. He was worried that Legolas would still need Aldewin’s guidance and thusly Thranduil would be left alone…it wouldn’t be the first time he had been alone, when this all started he had been alone and somehow managed to survive, but this was different as he had to actually deal and process the pain rather than avoid it. Thranduil shook his head at himself now realizing how terribly foolish that avenue had actually been, avoiding ones problems was never a good idea but Thranduil truly believed that if he dwelt upon it too much it would ultimately destroy him and the thought of leaving Legolas behind was too much for him to bear so he simply did the only thing he could think of…it did help him survive but now to continue to survive he had to remember what happened, although for now he couldn’t bear to hear more, he needed a little more time.

  
Thranduil had made the arrangement to spend short periods of time with Thorin in exchange for Aldewin being able to return to him, and those times had to be aside from the time spent together recovering his memory and he insisted that regardless of Aldewin not there as of yet he still had to hold true to the agreement as of this moment. Thranduil had agreed to have lunch with him although it would take place somewhere outside, Thranduil didn’t like the dining hall as flashes of that night would hit him sometimes, and he certainly didn’t want to be alone in his chamber or alone in Thorin’s rooms, so outside was the best place…a picnic like setting put Thranduil at more ease that anywhere else Erebor had to offer, Thorin simply didn’t seem to understand that this place was very unsettling to him and probably always would be too. Thranduil had already settled himself down on a blanket when Thorin came outside to meet him.

  
Food and drink had already been set up by the servants as Thorin didn’t want anyone to disturb them and they could easily serve themselves, Thranduil still had the tendency to take his breath away whenever he was graced with his presence. The outside setting truly did suit him better than inside, his beautifully white blonde hair, bright lapis blue eyes, and pale complexion; the sunlight seemed to make Thranduil shine right along with it…even with all the turmoil inside this beautiful elf he still shone so marvelously and what he wouldn’t give to be able to touch him just once more…although that was a lie and even Thorin knew that deep in his heart, one more time, one more million times it would never be enough to him and that’s what made their situation so terrible because he still knew it would never be as it could have been had he not let his own thirst for vengeance overpower his rational thought…he would take it all back if he could.

  
When they were recovering Thranduil’s memory Thorin had trouble even looking at him, to see pain in those eyes, tears, disgust, anger, he didn’t want to see those things, and his own shame burned him so intensely that he hated those times together but since it was for Thranduil he forced himself to endure but now it was different. They wouldn’t speak of his memory or what happened that terrible night; he wasn’t sure what they would talk about but this was defiantly a step in the right direction. He sat down across from Thranduil and they sat in silence for a moment before Thorin concluded that Thranduil would *not* be starting a conversation so it would be up to him and he decided on a topic that Thranduil would probably be happy about.

  
“Your guard will be here in two days time, I will have an entourage awaiting him at the border to escort him to the palace…would you like to be informed upon his arrival?” Thorin asked seeing Thranduil look up at him for the first time.

  
“Of course.” He replied. “I know you would prefer him as far away as possible but I thank you for allowing him to come back…regardless of personal feelings I do think he will assist in my recovery.” Thranduil said shifting a little from his position on the ground.

  
Thorin frowned pouring himself a glass of ale. “I was meaning to ask you why that is, he wasn’t there when it all happened, how can he be of such great help?” He asked.  
“Not help in remembering things Thorin, supporting me after our sessions…I have no one to lean upon afterward and this is difficult for me, almost as if it’s happening all over again and I need someone who knows what happened to soothe my mind afterward and not judge me either. He is the only other who knows about it all, and that I consider a friend, he is essential in this.” Thranduil said softly eyeing the food but not being particularly hungry so he settled for drinking a little wine.

  
“…I suppose…” Thorin said not liking that Thranduil’s lover would be returning but he could easily limit their contact if needed, if he truly wished it he could make it so that they only met after he and Thranduil had a session with him, he would need to work on that once he actually did arrive. “I suppose your son is faring well with the responsibilities of Mirkwood.”

  
“Aldewin would not be coming if he wasn’t, I made that clear that if he still needed his guidance that he would not be permitted to come. My kingdom and my son is always a first priority.” Thranduil said.

  
“Guidance? Forgive me but what help can your guard be to a prince taking on the responsibilities of King?” Thorin asked a little confused.

  
“You misunderstand Aldewin’s position in my Kingdom, before Mirkood he was my father chief councilor in Greenwood the Great, and before that he was a member of King Thingol’s court, he is ancient in his years and a seasoned warrior also a noble in his own right, Lord of the Twilight is his official title although he never cared much for it. He is much more than a simple guard…when I became King I was considered very young and Aldewin’s guidance at the time proved invaluable because of all his years he served royalty, I offered him a position to sit with my council but he felt he had served a politicians life far too long and he wished for something more gracious, it was then he dedicated his life and service to the royal family of Mirkwood.” Thranduil paused stealing a glance at Thorin. “After working and training with the soldiers of Mirkwood he had decided to make a regiment of elite warriors who soon became the royal guardsmen and he is the captain of this select group…he is happy with his position now in life but do not mistake him for being only a lowly guard, he is hardly anything of the sort.” Thranduil said actually proud this noble elf was his to call his own.

  
Thorin was actually a little surprised to hear all this, ‘why would a noble lord lower himself to a position of being a guard?’ It boggled one’s mind to think that he actually wanted to do something like that and that he was actually happier in this position too…nevertheless though he was still just a guard no matter what his position in life *used* to be.

 

“Forgive me for saying so but I still feel you deserve someone better to be you partner in life.” Thorin said chewing on a piece of bread.

  
Thranduil scoffed at the comment. “Another King perhaps?” Thranduil said seeming to catch Thorin off guard with the remark. “You think so lowly of Aldewin yet so highly of yourself…the two of you are vastly different in title but you are also different in many other ways as well Thorin and the most important difference is that I know for a certain fact he would never hurt me while you already have more than once.”

 

“Hurt you? He practically strangled you until you lost consciousness a week ago.” Thorin said a little angry at the words Thranduil spoke.

  
“To protect me from myself and to protect you…he did that for my own good and I fail to see how you actions did me any good at all.” Thranduil sighed and locked gazes with Thorin for a moment. “I will never be able to convince you of his worth Thorin but he is valuable to me and that is all that matters.” He said looking away.

  
“I had hoped our meal could be spent a little more …lightly and not upon matters of the past which seem to always come up when we are together, can we not speak of something different?” Thorin asked.

  
“We know very little about one another Thorin, our only common ground is that night, I really have very few memories that concern you and none of which are pleasant memories…in all those reminiscences it is either you or it is I who betraying the other in one way or another. Our past is a rather sordid tale, and for the life of me I cannot understand your attraction to me despite all this, I truly thought you hated me.” Thranduil said.

  
“I thought I did too…wanted to hate you as that would be so much easier on both of us if I did, but I simply can’t, it was easy to take vengeance upon you because at that time I thought you deserved it, but I don’t think I hated you even then. I was crippled with the desire for you to repent and when you refused that desire turned into something evil and that was more intoxicating than anything you can imagine. I know my apology means nothing to you but I will never forgive myself either so I suppose it is only fair in the end.” Thorin paused for a moment looking at Thranduil intently; he did love Thranduil no matter the circumstances they were faced with on a daily basis. “Its thin line between love and hate, is it so hard to understand my love for you?” He asked seriously.

  
Thranduil stood up not wanting to continue their talk or their time together. When Thorin said things like that it always made Thranduil extremely uncomfortable and it made no true sense in his mind, and at the fragile state his mind was in he did not need more confusion. “Please Thorin...do not say such things.” He said before walking away.

  
Thorin sat in his position for a long time actually a little stunned, he had expected Thranduil to yell at him to never speak to him of love or affection ever again but he hadn’t. Thranduil had looked a little uncomfortable at Thorin confessing his feelings but that was to be expected, however his reaction was not anticipated. Thorin truly thought he would have been angry but he wasn’t he just looked a little lost…Thorin wasn’t sure if this was progress or not but it seemed like it nonetheless.

  
***

 

Sorry this chapter was a little shorter and so terribly late, I’m still working on my ‘Various Thranduil’ and my ‘Innocence and Responsibility’ fictions so don’t worry about those ^_^

  
I really wanted to flesh out Aldewin’s character a little more so sorry about this chapter not being more exciting although it would seem Thranduil is starting to become less afraid of Thorin and willing to at least listen to him although unsure about what to do with what he hears. Please let me know what you think, questions or expectations? Let me know!

  
Comments and Kudos are always appreciated and responded to!

  
Just a minor side note, when Aldewin was thinking I used the word hapless, do not mistake it for helpless, as they are two different words with different meanings, thanks!

 

 


	14. Shattered Pieces – Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 14  
Chapter: 14 of 15  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OMC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: SO SORRY for this late update!

 

***

  
_‘Thranduil growled at him in defiance. “I pity you.” Thranduil whispered softly._

  
_Thorin stopped all his actions against Thranduil and looked upon him utterly confused. “I think you need to reanalyze your situation, you should feel misfortune for yourself.” He said beginning to unbuckle his belt._

  
_“Why do you allow your anger to hold such dominion over you? What do you think this will accomplish? I already told you I will not yield I will not beg, and yet you continue and even if you did reduce me to surrender…would that satisfy you?” Thranduil asked, the fact of Thorin removing his clothes not lost upon him.’_

  
Thranduil awoke with a start his eyes wide and his mind reeling at the remembrance of that brief moment with Thorin, a new memory that came to him in his dreams this time with no assistance needed although he clearly remembered that moment, it was right before Thorin had…he had asked Thranduil one last time if he would apologize but Thranduil had doubted the sincerity of Thorin’s words and simply could not allow his conviction to be compromised and so he was soon subjected to Thorin’s carnal desires.

  
_‘Most basic satisfaction will be the first.’_

  
Yes, Thranduil remembered those words so well and it still chilled his heart somewhat although recently he found himself finding more profundity in Thorin than he had before.

At first he had felt Thorin was nothing more than a black abyss, void of compassion or emotion, and held nothing but hate and cruelty in his heart, suffering from much more than just gold sickness…but that simply wasn’t true anymore, over the course of two days and the time they had spent together there was depth to this dwarf with complex feelings and emotions that he had never noticed before, never cared to notice in all honesty as it was easier to think of him as nothing but a cruel and violent being although Thranduil was becoming unable to keep on thinking of Thorin in such a way the more time he spent with him, especially when they were in a neutral setting.

  
Thranduil sighed deeply before falling back into bed his mind calming down considerably after a few moments, Aldewin would be arriving in the early morning and Thranduil was surprised at how elated that knowledge made him as he had not felt such happiness in so long. Once Aldewin was here Thranduil felt he could start again with recovering more of his memory with Thorin, and afterward he could take comfort in Aldewin and would no longer need to take upon this task all alone. Thranduil truly felt all things would work out in the end, that he would be okay…but even with Aldewin’s soon to be arrival Thranduil’s thoughts kept on drifting back and forth between Thorin and Aldewin. It pained Thranduil to think that Thorin actually held some type of love for him, twisted as it may be, Thranduil actually did believe him when he spoke those words so heart-breakingly that it did stir compassion in Thranduil’s own heart for the dwarf, no matter how much Thorin had hurt him he still couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pity for him regardless. He hated feeling this way, even if Thorin was truly repentant what did it matter? Nothing could ever change what he had done, what he had made Thranduil feel all these years without a moment respite from his inner pain…a pain that Thorin had caused him and nothing could ever change that between them. Also there was, of course, Aldewin. Even in these moments he was still surprised at how easily he had given in to loving him, Aldewin had been by his side always, Aldewin had been nothing but warm and emotionally available, he supported Thranduil in everything he did, and nurtured him like no other could…he truly cared about him and loved him, and Thranduil only truly felt safe when he was near. Thranduil also knew he loved Aldewin in return however, the more and more time he spent with Thorin the more confused he became about the dwarfs intentions with him and his own manners when they were together…he was so thrown and unsure how to proceed.

  
***

  
Aldewin sighed when he was met at the gates of Erebor and immediately shown into a room by one of the servants who practically ordered him to await a visit from the King, normally this would not be an unusual request but Aldewin had already assessed what Thorin wanted to speak to him about. Aldewin already knew Thorin held nothing but animosity toward him, in Thorin’s mind he was the one obstacle in his way of gaining Thranduil’s attention and even his affection although Aldewin wasn’t really worried about that. Thranduil was not in love with Thorin no matter how much the dwarf wished he was, Thranduil belonged to him now and while he continued to draw breath he would never let that dwarf hurt Thranduil…even if he and Thranduil were not lovers he could still never abide Thorin daring to touch him again, the mere thought made anger pulse deep inside him as he still wished to extract revenge upon Thorin. For the moment Thranduil needed Thorin and that need kept him safe from Aldewin’s wrath but may all the gods protect him when that need was no longer there.

  
His thoughts were interrupted when Thorin very confidently walked into his chamber, seeming to be sizing Aldewin up immediately upon entering. Most would probably be uncomfortable under such scrutiny, by a King no less, but it hardly bothered Aldewin for if Thorin truly thought of him as some type of competition then let him take a good long look at why exactly it was a lost cause for him to even try and break the bond he and Thranduil had.

  
“I’m sure you are anxious to be reunited with your King but I thought it best you understand a few things about this situation first.” Thorin said trying not to become angry. “You are only here because Thranduil requested it and apparently thinks he needs you and I promised I would help him in his endeavor toward recovery so I have granted this request however, I need you to understand you are hardly a welcomed guest in my home if it was avoidable I never would have allowed you to come her…but for Thranduil I have allowed it. While here you will follow my rules…” Thorin was about to speak but Aldewin cut him off.

  
“Be silent! Do not tell me what to do as if you have any control over my actions whatsoever because you simply don’t, I didn’t come here to aid you in this pathetic attempt of yours to gain Thranduil’s favor I came because *he* wanted me, he needed me to be here for him, I have no intention to follow your so called rules either.” Aldewin growled wanting to throttle Thorin but held back. “I despise you, everything about you, and this twisted little game with Thranduil is abhorrent and I need you to understand I am not under your command, I might be under your roof but I am not exactly a willing guest of yours.” Aldewin watched for a reaction from Thorin but it changed very little. “I see you have roomed us far from one another, do you intend to tell me where he is or must I fine out for myself?” He asked.

  
Thorin growled under his breath, he hated this elf’s arrogance toward him, this was his kingdom and he would be damned if he allowed this *guard* to speak to him so brazenly and without respect. “You will watch your tone with me elf.” Thorin said a deep rumble in his throat. “It is only by my good graces that you are even here within my kingdom at all, I would have never invited you had I any other option.”

  
Aldewin scoffed at this. “Oh…and what a grand kingdom it is, while a rapist sits upon the throne.” Aldewin spat as he brushed past Thorin toward the door his words seeming to have more of an effect upon the dwarf king than Aldewin initially intended and wasn’t expecting, it was if his words had actually pained Thorin somewhat which forced Aldewin to take a moment’s pause and look upon him curiously at the unexpected reaction. He had wanted this reaction but thought nothing he said could affect Thorin as he seemed so cold and void of sentiment, but he was certainly displaying emotion now.

  
While the dwarf wasn’t facing him Aldewin could see the way his back was tense and his hands balled into tight fists and a slight side glace upon his face showed the firmly closed eyes and tight jaw, and when those eyes opened they looked moist and saddened…it was almost as if Aldewin had upset him, which threw Aldewin completely off guard. The last time he saw Thorin he saw nothing but a pathetic arrogant dwarf King that cared nothing for anyone or anything and simply wished to manipulate and control Thranduil once more for his own sick obsession…but now he seemed remorseful.

  
“Thranduil is in the west wing, I’ve told my guards to allow you to pass but that is not a privilege always granted…I still have every intention to regulate your time with him.” Thorin said trying to brush away the guilty feeling that crept over him when Aldewin called him a rapist…although it was the truth it still hurt.

  
The elf wasted no time as he turned on his heel sharply and left Thorin alone in his room undoubtedly heading for Thranduil. Thorin still felt that he shouldn’t have a allowed this, after all Thranduil was finally giving him a moment of his time and their insulting banter had now settled into a type of tolerance and Thorin would hate that the arrival of Aldewin would only undermine all the headway he had made with Thranduil…he allowed it only because Thranduil truly seemed to need him and it did allow Thorin to gain more attention from Thranduil in the end but nevertheless he was still incredibly threatened by Aldewin and with good reason.

  
He was defiantly a worthy advisory to Thorin’s intentions toward Thranduil, and although Thorin realized he could never have Thranduil the way he desired part of him still did not want anyone else to have him either, if he was to be alone why should Thranduil find love and solace in another? It simply wasn’t fair, as life always tended to be, and it forced his body to burn in jealousy at the union of Thranduil and Aldewin…if they wished it their love could last for eternity and Thorin would only have one simple moment that he could call his own and it wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory. He wanted desperately to wash away the sins of his past and start with a clean slate but Thranduil was no longer focused on forgetting, no he was trying urgently to remember those terrible moments and in doing so Thorin was forced to remember over and over the ruin he caused Thranduil’s body and mind…and exactly why he could never call Thranduil his own.

  
The type of devotion Aldewin held for Thranduil still bewildered Thorin somewhat, their relationship hardly seemed equal as Thranduil was still his King and has complete control and command over Aldewin’s actions, he had a few days prior ordered Aldewin to return home to guide his son and he had done so, even thought he hadn’t wanted to he had obeyed nonetheless. Even so with their distinct status gap Aldewin didn’t seem bothered by it in the least, perhaps he was simply used to it but Thorin suspected it was something more…something deep within Aldewin that forced him to bend and bow to Thranduil’s command which was why he loved him so gently and thoughtfully, why he was so much more suited to Thranduil needs than Thorin was. Someone that would never hurt or betray him, who would sooner die before he allowed anything to befall Thranduil ever again, in fact it would seem he would even be grateful to die for Thranduil, to willingly give his life in service to his King and his love would be the ultimate sacrifice that he could make, his life was for Thranduil after all…his devotion could so easily be his downfall.

 

***

  
It didn’t take long for Aldewin to find Thranduil’s room and no sooner had he entered he was embraced immediately by Thranduil, their bodies so close, arms wrapping around one another, one would think they had been separated for years the way they clung to one another so tenaciously. However, they simply loved one another, and whether it was one second or one hundred years it was too long a time to be separated.

  
“I missed you so.” Thranduil whispered softly in Aldewin’s ear. “Forgive me for sending you away, but my main concern at the time was for Legolas, I could not do anything until I knew he would be all right and you are the only would I could trust with him.” Thranduil said loosening his hold but not letting go.

  
Aldewin sighed and pressed a gently kiss to Thranduil’s forehead. “You need not explain, I understand your reasoning behind it all although I think you underestimate Legolas…he will be a great King someday, one you and Mirkwood can be proud of.” He said with a gentle smile. “He is worried about you though, you sent him a somewhat cryptic letter with hints of your pain and recovery ambitions but no explanation as to what those things were…he was almost set on forcing me to stay in Mirkwood unless I explained things to him.”

“Did you?” Thranduil asked before Aldewin could continue as he pulled away from him.

  
“Of course not, that is certainly not my place to say anything to him about it, I told him I would speak to you on his behalf but if he lied to you saying I was still needed that I would resign my position…thankfully it had not come to that but nothing was going to keep me from your side.” He said cupping Thranduil’s cheek lovingly. “Although…when this is finished, when you come back home I believe it would do you well to speak to Legolas about what has happened…even if you don’t want to confiding in your family could be therapeutic for you in the end, allowing yourself to trust others again will be an important step for you.”

  
“It’s been hard without you here to lean upon; my sessions with Thorin are becoming a little more difficult as we delve deeper into that night and I had no one to sooth me as Thorin certainly is not able to provide that…and the extra time he insists we spend together is confusing and I wish he would simply tell me what I need to know and be done with it but it’s me who is throwing up the blockades.” Thranduil said sitting upon the bed beckoning Aldewin to join him.

  
“Spending time with him? Are you certain that is wise?” Aldewin asked concern quickly sweeping his features.

  
“It was the condition he stipulated if I was to bring you back to me…I was slightly concerned at first but not anymore, I see a slight change in him now, I believe he is truly trying to repent in some way for his actions, while I do not know if I will ever be able to forgive him if I was to deny him at least the chance, the opportunity to try, for that I could not forgive myself…and he has changed he does regret his actions of that I am certain as our sessions together are just as hard upon him as they are on me, he does not revel in the time retelling me each thing he had done all that he made me feel, I dare say he hates it even. I want him to regret it, I need him to truly be repentant for what happened and I think he is.” Thranduil said enjoying the gentle embrace from Aldewin, not realizing how much he missed the warmth from the other.

  
“You are much more compassionate than myself, I could care less about his supposed regret, he should pay for what he has done to you but this mountain palace shields him from retribution. Valar help him should he ever leave.” Aldewin seethed.

  
Thranduil smiled only slightly at this, he knew Aldewin spoke in such a way merely because he was so fiercely protective of him and if it ever came down to it he also knew that this elf would kill for him just as he had done so in the wars they fought together in…but he would not kill Thorin, no matter how much he might want to, he wouldn’t execute a member of Erebor’s royalty and possibly trigger a racial war. Aldewin was no fool and knew the repercussions would be immeasurable aside from the fact he could easily wait this out and time would take care of the problem itself…but he wanted to kill him, and truth be told he had never *wanted* to kill anyone or anything in his entire life, war was different because then it was a matter of survival, but he was not at war with Thorin…at least he didn’t think so.

  
Both Aldewin and Thranduil simply lay in bed together neither speaking or moving, just enjoying one another’s warmth and touch, the steady rhythm of their heart beats with slow even breaths, completely relaxed while they were together although this serenity wouldn’t last.

  
“I’m meeting with Thorin to try and recover some of what I have lost…it seems close to its end so soon I can fully process this and move forward with my life.” Thranduil looked intently at Aldewin as he planned moving forward with this elf at his side. “Stay here until I return, I would like your company afterward.” Thranduil said hoping having Aldewin close by afterward would limit the trauma of reliving the rape.

  
“I’ll be waiting, don’t push yourself too hard though, give yourself as much time as you need and I will always be here for you, never forget that.” Aldewin said with a sweet smile.

  
Thranduil smiled before walking back up to him planting a gentle and heartfelt kiss upon the others lips, allowing himself to linger a moment before he opened his mouth to allow the kiss to deepen and add a little more passion to their encounter. Thranduil did find it a little odd that at this moment, right before he was about to relive his worst nightmare, all he wanted was to be taken into Aldewin’s arms and made love to…but he couldn’t, Thorin had specifically asked that they don’t have sex while they were here and the last thing he wanted to do was make Thorin angry as he had been extremely amicable toward him recently and if Thorin was to change his demeanor Thranduil wasn’t sure if he could handle that, the only reason he was able to handle this entire situation was because Thorin wasn’t behaving anything like he was that night. So after a moment Thranduil reluctantly pulled away.

  
“I’ll be careful.” Thranduil said before he left the safety of his lovers arms to walk right into Thorin’s bedroom.

 

***

 

Thorin watched Thranduil closely as he looked around his chamber once more as if he needed to study it each time before they progressed and began to speak, Thranduil tended to stay a little bit away from the bed but he had moved closer to it this time looking at it closely.

  
“Did you change the color of the sheets?” Thranduil asked curiously. He remembered them being darker but not much else as his attention wasn’t really on the décor at the time.

  
“Yes actually, I was bored with the dark colors so I exchanged them for these.” Thorin had exchanged the dark midnight sheets and silver highlights with light brown and real fur throws; it was defiantly more comfortable as he loved the feel of fur against his skin.

  
“It’s nice.” Thranduil said running his hand across the soft fur. “I had a dream last night…I had told you how I pitied you and I asked why you allowed your anger to hold such dominion over you, did I really say that to you?” Thranduil asked curious if that was something that actually happened or if was just a dream.

  
“Yeah I remember that, it pissed me off so much…at the time anyway. I understand why you said it now though…you were right too I let my anger rule me so completely and it was part of the reason why I hurt you, nothing mattered to me but my own selfish vengeance.” Thorin said watching Thranduil but keeping his distance.

  
“Tell me what happened after then, I remembered you saying that the most basic satisfaction will be first.” Thranduil said looking at Thorin, their eyes meeting for a moment.  
“I asked one last time if you would apologize to me, I wanted you so badly to say that you were sorry…but you refused me, you thought it wouldn’t have made a difference no matter what you said to me.” Thorin said.

 

“Would it have? Would you have stopped if I simply apologized to you?” Thranduil asked.

  
“I don’t know, I was so angry with you and your conviction just made me even more furious with you…I couldn’t stand it any longer.” Thorin swallowed thickly before he continued. “I slapped you and I…I tore the ginger root from inside you out and then forced myself inside you, I remembered you screaming, it wasn’t as if I had prepared you or anything so I know it must have hurt so much…and I am sorry.” Thorin said.

  
Thranduil looked at him for a moment although Thorin’s eyes were closed as if he was trying to block away memories from that night; Thranduil remembered doing the same thing. “I do remember the pain; it seemed like the only thing I could focus on…”

  
“Oh, how I was hoping this would hurt you…to see your tears and hear you scream is a privilege, I will enjoy every second of this misery I am causing you.” He growled close to Thranduil’s ear. “But I can be persuaded to stop; you need but say so…”

  
Thranduil gripped his head at the remembrance of those words…he had wanted to hurt him, to make him scream, make him cry, and Thranduil wouldn’t say he was sorry and wouldn’t lose his resolve so it only continued. “I hadn’t lain with another for so long before then; it wasn’t even slightly bearable for me…was it good for you?”

  
Thorin looked up at him at that point, it was such an odd question and he honestly didn’t feel like answering it but at the same time he had promised to help him through this. “Yes…I did enjoy myself…I thought your body felt so marvelous that I should share you with my friends and family, and still you did not yield and did not break under my threats or all the pain I was causing you….” Thorin gritted his teeth. “You know I raped you, must I give you a play by play explanation of exactly how?” Thorin said shaking his head.

  
“If that is what it takes then yes, tell me everything…how it felt for you, what I seemed to be like for me…some of it I remember like how you took me first on my back then my stomach, I remember that…I remember my arms being freed later though, did you release me?” Thranduil asked seeing how much this was hurting Thorin.

  
“Yeah, after I had finished inside you…I knew you didn’t have the strength to fight me off anymore, they had cut so deeply into your skin by that point that I literally had to cut you to remove them…after that I pushed you to the floor upon your knees and backhanded you, you fell down but I brought you to your knees again only to hit you once more…I did that several times before I punched you and kicked you…” Thorin stopped almost feeling sick, saying everything out loud was different and it truly sickened him that he had been so cruel.

  
“Why did you find it necessary to beat me? You said I had not the strength to fight you anymore at that point so what was the point of such cruelty?” Thranduil asked.

  
“There was no point to it…there was no point to any of it!” Thorin walked away from Thranduil. “I wish I knew *why* I did any of it but I simply don’t know anymore what possessed me to be so spiteful toward you that night…your conviction made me burn with such anger and I can guess I just wanted to vanquish that fire any way I could, as if breaking you would make a flood gate open and douse those flames, but nothing worked.” Thorin had paused for a long while. “When I stopped hitting you I brought you back to your knees…” Thranduil spoke next which gave him the small favor of not having to say it.

  
“You had me perform oral sex for you….I couldn’t breathe, I remember the burning sensation in my lungs and you shoving me back to the floor to take me again…” Thranduil said remembering that much. “Did you really want me to die?” Thranduil asked.

  
“At that time yes I did, but honestly all I want now if for you to live, I don’t want you to suffer anymore and I want you to find some peace.” Thorin said. “I took you a few more times that night but it was nothing different really, and you didn’t fight me anymore so I grew bored and let you go…you left for home not long after…leaving your crown and your robe behind.” Thorin said.

  
“So that’s it then? That’s everything that happened that night…strange that I somehow, I actually feel a little better but I think I need to be with Aldewin now.” Thranduil said feeling the need of his comfort right about now.

  
“Of course…if you need any more details don’t hesitate to come to me, I’m here to help.” Thorin said although he prayed Thranduil would not ask for more detail, he wasn’t so sure he could take it.

  
“And you have helped me…I appreciate that, I really do.” Thranduil said leaving Thorin alone to go back to the one person he truly felt safe with.

  
***

  
“Tell me you love me.” Thranduil said while he was lying in bed with Aldewin wrapped in his tight embrace.

  
“I love you…and don’t fret too much, it’s over now, and if you wish it you never have to see Thorin again. He’s told you everything you needed to know, he has received all the supplies he wanted for his people so there really is not much more of a need to stay here.” Aldewin said rubbing Thranduil’s back with firm even strokes.

  
“I promised to stay until he said otherwise…but maybe he’ll consider letting me go although it seems like he has more things to talk about before he’ll let me go.” Thranduil said feeling Aldewin’s grip around him tighten. “Don’t worry love…we’ll go home soon and be together. I will not allow anything to tear us apart.”

 

***

  
That night Thranduil’s mind was plagued with vivid nightmares and moments from his assault, Aldewin had awoken more than once to Thranduil’s screams and although he wanted to wake Thranduil and chase away those terrible dreams he knew it was better for Thranduil to wake up on his own. Thranduil’s mind was trying to repair itself, to recover completely what it had lost; this was what was supposed to happen as it was simply part of the process of his recovery and Aldewin hoped it would work…there was no guarantee that remembering was better for Thranduil. Some elf’s who had been assaulted had sailed to the Valinor or simply faded, the experience taking such a toll on their lives they could not longer continue. This was a risky road his King was taking and in all honesty there was no other option, trying to forget was no longer working and was seeking release at all times so the only other avenue was to try and remember instead…but this could destroy Thranduil and that was something that Aldewin himself could not survive.

  
***

  
I know I say this all the time but I’m sorry for the late update, holidays, medical stuff, and a million other reasons *why* but yay! Only one more chapter to go now! I hope I haven’t lost too many of my readers and you continue to enjoy!

  
Comments and Kudos are always appreciated and responded to!

 

 


	15. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 1  
Chapter: 15 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: I know! It’s been a long while and I can’t apologize enough for the delay! I hope you guys like this as it was really hard for me to get down for some reason but things are drawing to a close and that always seems to be the hardest part for me, anyway enjoy!

 

***

  
The night after everything was revealed had been terrible for Thranduil, dreadful flashes of images of his assault in much more detail than anything he ever spoke about with Thorin. He could remember the smell, the pain, and the shame that breathed through him like the most chilling winter wind. Withstanding the rape alone was in itself a feat, each day a grueling task to simply go about his daily life as if everything was normal, only to collapse into bed at the end overcome with tears…these vivid nightmares were one of the reasons he had tried so desperately to forget what happened, why he spent so much time in meditation rather than sleeping, his own fatigue making it difficult to dwell upon the memories and when sheer exhaustion overtook him it was a blissfully dreamless sleep. Would he go through the same thing again? Would all these memories simply be too much for him like before? Or would he finally be able to actually process this pain, to move past it, would he be able to come back to himself once more…or would he fade away?

  
It all seemed like such a good idea at first, processing the memory and moving past it all to overcome it ultimately in the end but he had failed to realize that not only would he remember he would also be reliving the experience as well and being stuck in Erebor where the event took place was not helping matters. Aldewin had stayed with Thranduil well into the morning, when Thranduil had awoken from a particularly vivid nightmare he saw Aldewin not in bed beside him but rather in a chair had pulled up close to the bed and he was hardly asleep, it seemed like he had been watching him the entire night actually.

  
Thranduil took a moment to clam himself down a little before speaking. “What time is it?” He asked sitting up fully.

  
“Early, the sun just rose a few minutes ago…you’ve had a rough night, how are you feeling?” He asked not wanting to come close just yet, he wanted to gauge Thranduil’s mood first as he might not want to particularly be touched right at this moment, he certainly hadn’t last night.

  
During the night Aldewin had awoken to Thranduil’s cries from nightmares, he knew it was better to not wake him and he needed to work through these memories and he tried to embrace him to calm him a little but that hadn’t helped it only seemed to make Thranduil more frantic, and when the youthful King had thrashed in his sleep as well Aldewin simply opted for the chair, he knew well enough while Thranduil was suffering he couldn’t possibly sleep. It was hard to watch Thranduil in such turmoil but for the moment there was really nothing he could do, and again he felt almost completely helpless…Thranduil was the only one who could ever make him feel so insecure. He wanted to hold him and sooth his worries and chase away all these nightmares…but it was actually better he was working through some of his demons through sleeping, even if it was torture to watch him struggle so much.

  
Thranduil shook his head, he wasn’t feeling anything good at the moment, a sickening feeling creeping over him…was this what he would feel like? Would he feel like this for the rest of his life? Even when he was being held by Thorin he didn’t feel like this, he had remained strong and clutched tenaciously to his sense of pride but it all seemed to slip through his fingers at this moment and he felt weak and shamed, not the proud strong King he once was.

  
Thranduil was startled when a warm hand was placed gently over his own although he relaxed seeing the gentle and good intent in Aldewin’s eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” Aldewin asked not sure what he could do for Thranduil except be here for him, be his pillar of strength, but if he needed something more Aldewin wanted to make sure that Thranduil knew he was here for him.

  
“I…I am unsure how to proceed now with this recovery now. I now know everything that I managed to forget but now what?” Thranduil asked.

  
“I’m sure it’s terrifying to finally accept the truth about what happened to you, but hiding it was only going to make things worse. It would help to talk about it, even if you’re not ready to do that now I hope you will be one day, still if it’s not me who you talk to. That’s another step I believe you will need to take.” Aldewin said, remembering was only part of it there was more he needed to do to fully recover.

  
“Time…I have all the time I need…but I cannot do this here.” Thranduil said standing and going over to the armoire to change into more suitable attire. “I suppose my main question is will Thorin allow us to leave here now? I agreed to stay with no stipulation on time.” Thranduil said as he began to dress.

  
Aldewin gave a heavy sigh. “I actually would like to think he would, he seems almost…remorseful of what has happened between you two, maybe he finally cares enough to let you go.” He said walking up to Thranduil and wrapping his arms about Thranduil’s waist.

  
“I should see him alone, he doesn’t like you much, and actually I think he doesn’t like you at all.” Thranduil said looking behind his shoulder at Aldewin. “Aside from the fact you should get some rest, you’re exhausted.” Thranduil said giving him a chaste kiss before walking to the door. “Promise me you’ll rest.”

  
Aldewin nodded ‘yes’ to the request. “Very well, come to me after?”

  
“Of course.” Thranduil said before leaving the room and Aldewin went to his own respective chamber.

  
As Thranduil walked down the cold hallways of Erebor this thoughts drifted back to the prospect that this might truly be the one thing in his life was simply too much to bear, he knew about a few elf’s that had suffered what he had and they had been unable to bear the disgrace so they eventually sailed…or worse yet faded and died. At that thought though Thranduil stopped walking and furthered his brow at the thought of leaving this world one way or another. He wanted to stay; it was the first time in a long time that he actually wanted to live, he wanted to stay in Middle Earth, he wanted to see his son grow up into a strong and powerful King, he wanted to explore this new love with Aldewin, and he wanted once again to become a strong and powerful King for his people. This new realization and feeling enveloped him like a warm shawl in the cold wind, he could survive this…he *would* survive this.

  
***

  
“I don’t care!” Legolas shouted angrily at the council standing to his full height and allowing the fire in his eyes to dare anyone to say another word against him. “It has been folly for us to simply sit here and wait while my father, your King, is practically being held hostage in that god forsaken mountain!” He yelled glaring at the various council members.

  
“We have sent them a generous amount of supplies thus far my King.” One council member meekly offered. “I’m sure that your father will return soon, and he has Lord Aldewin by his side, you know no harm would befall him thusly.” The elf reasoned.

  
“Is that supposed to comfort me in some way?” Legolas said. The letter his father had sent had Legolas deeply concerned and worried for his father’s safety, he knew that his father was losing a little bit more of himself every passing year and Legolas would be damned if he allowed this Dwarf to take even more away from him.

  
Of course it didn’t help matters that Thorin had practically deceived and kidnapped him, practically blackmailed his father into staying in Erebor and Aldewin refused to speak of what was actually going on, leaving Legolas in the dark. Of course Legolas felt that a more drastic measure needed to be taken to rescue his father even if he had to go out on his own…he would do anything to save Thranduil.

  
“This is my father’s Kingdom, he belongs here and I will not allow Erebor to so brazenly threaten his life and well being. We cannot stand for this kind of offense! It is a true matter of honor and service that we act and bring him back home.” Legolas said firmly.

  
“But…we have not received any word from his majesty or Aldewin that he was in any immediate danger, why would they find is prudent to not inform us?” Another elf said.  
“We have yet to receive *any* word, good or otherwise, from Erebor. Why would they allow any ill news to come to us? They are still relying on us for goods…and that’s how we will be able to act.” Legolas said already having devised a plan.

  
“What do you propose King?” a few elves’s asked supporting their new Kings decision.

  
“I am not proposing we wage war against the mountain, that’s the last thing I believe should happen between our Kingdom’s and could potentially be hazardous to my father’s life and Aldewin’s. So instead we will send out best archers and soldiers to deliver the next shipment of goods, this will give them unhindered access into the mountain, and thus far they have allowed our people a day respite before returning home, they can get to my father I am certain.” Legolas said.

  
“What if they run into trouble while they are there?” One asked.

  
“Then they will be authorized to use any means necessary to bring him home. I don’t care if they have to slay Thorin himself…I will have my father back home.” Legolas was pleased that the council was quite now; he truly wished he didn’t have to take these types of measures, but this travesty had gone on long enough, and he simply could not tolerate it any longer.

 

***

  
Thorin was currently pacing in his chamber, his thoughts were consumed by Thranduil, he and Thranduil would not longer need to discuss what happened to him so the elf would no doubt want to return home soon and then he would be lost to Thorin forever. Thorin and Thranduil had made such progress; he could actually stand to be in his presence again! He didn’t seem to fear him like before; it was all going so well and now it was all going to be for naught…Thorin knew he had to let him go, there really was no getting around it any longer. Thorin did truly love Thranduil even if no one believed it. Though Thorin was becoming to understand what he had done could never be fully repaired he still could hardly withstand the thought of never seeing Thranduil again, never being near him again, it was too painful to even phantom which was why he practically black mailed him into staying in the first place. He had allowed his lover Aldewin to join him but that was really just another ploy to make him a little more secure in staying longer. He would need another excuse in keeping Thranduil here in Erebor…but he simply had none.

  
Thorin heaved a heavy sigh as he looked about his room a deep depression washing over him as he did so. He almost wished that Thranduil had never come back in the first place, it only made Thorin realize he actually had feelings for him and come to terms with the fact that he had hurt him almost to the point to where he would never recover…and part of Thranduil probably never would and it killed Thorin to know that he was the cause of it. Thorin didn’t want to feel like he did, he hated it and before Thranduil came back he had looked upon that memory fondly although it only made him feel nausea now. Thorin sighed again and went into his adjoining bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror staring at his image long and hard until he couldn’t even bear the sight of himself any longer.

  
How could his love had leaded him to this? To giving up completely, surrender Thranduil to another in the end? Was this what loving meant, that if it was a true love that you would let them go? Thorin sighed deeply finally realizing that in the end he really had no choice, and this was the end after all.

  
Thorin was startled from his musings when an attendant knocked upon his chamber door, gruffly he answered. “Enter” he said not really caring one way or another.

  
“Forgive the intrusion my Lord but I thought it best to inform you that another shipment from Mirkwood had arrived. How do you wish to proceed with distribution?” the young dwarf asked.

  
“For now send it to the caves and I will come to inspect it later today. Do not fret, we will all survive this famine, our people can survive a few more hours.” Thorin said knowing his people were strong .

 

***

  
Aldewin had bathed and dressed in clean clothes and just as he was stepping back into the bedroom he was almost tackled by Thranduil who threw his arms about him and was now hugging him strongly, almost a crushing embrace. At first he was concerned that yet something else had happened to his King, but a soft almost contented sigh that escaped Thranduil’s lips immediately relived Aldewin and he returned to embrace the two simply holding one another until Thranduil decided that it was time to part.

  
“I had an epiphany.” Thranduil said. “Everything suddenly makes sense in my mind and my body, I feel good, truly good…I cannot remember the last time I felt like this. I think to remember everything was actually the right decision, I was so scared when I first woke up, I had thought everything might have been a mistake.” Thranduil said looking intently at Aldewin.

  
“And now?” Aldewin asked wanting Thranduil to talk.

  
“I was going to go see Thorin, I wanted to talk to him about leaving, about going home, but as I walked I was reflecting on the few I knew that had suffered the same violence that I had, they had sailed and others had actually faded and as I thought about it I realized without a doubt I wanted to stay here.” Thranduil said seeing that brilliant smile spread across his lovers face. “I want to stay, I want to live my life with you by my side and see my child one day become a great King…I believe this is a great step in the many I am sure to take during my recovery, but I want to live.” Thranduil said smiling, the sensation almost foreign to him but it felt good to smile once more.

  
“That’s wonderful.” Aldewin said bringing Thranduil into his arms to hold him again. “I will always be by your side Thranduil…this I my promise to you.” He said leaning forward to kiss him.

  
Thranduil practically melted into the kiss, at that moment he wanted nothing more than to embrace Aldewin, to take him to the bed and make passionate love to him but he had given Thorin his word that they would not do that while here…it was a silly promise Thranduil knew but still, he had given his word. Bedsides he wanted their next time to be in Mirkwood anyway, where he would be surrounded by family and friends, and purely and simply where he was safe and among his kin once more.

  
“I’ll go and speak to Thorin now, I just wanted to see you first was all.” Thranduil said as he gave him one last hug and left Aldewin. “I’ll meet with you after.” He paused for a moment. “I think I’m going to forgive him…” Thranduil said trailing off a little.

  
“Forgive him.” Aldewin said disbelievingly. “Are you sure?” He asked.

  
“Yes…I think I need this too, to no longer be his victim…by forgiving him I erase all his responsibility as well as my shame, forgiveness is divine and it will wipe away this stain on both of our lives. I cannot live forever with never giving myself closure with the two of us; I believe this is the right choice.” Thranduil said.

  
Aldewin nodded slowly. “You are much more pure than I give you credit for. Only you could find it in your heart to forgive someone who had wronged you so much.”  
Thranduil gave him another smile and kiss before he left to go in search of Thorin.

 

***

 

“Are we ready?” an Elvin soldier asked as he looked at his men, his archers seeming prepared as the stood without a waver in their steps. “We have gathers enough information to know that King Thorin and his majesty King Thranduil will both be in the dining hall soon, and at that time I think it best we make our move.” He said.

  
“We can be in position in no time at all…should we wait though? We have not been able to speak with King Thranduil or Lord Aldewin about the situation, we should not act brashly.” One archer said.

  
“I have tried to see them both many times already since our arrival but have been deterred every time, we have probable cause to eliminate any threat to King Thranduil’s life, if need be we will eliminate King Thorin and rescue the King and bring him home just as Prince Legolas ordered us.” The soldier said about to walk out to door. “I will be in position just in your line of sight and when I give the signal I want you to shoot, we will have little time after that moment so quickly get yourselves outside and head for Mirkwood immediately I will handle the King.” He said as they moved out to carry out their mission.

  
***

  
Thorin sat alone in the dining room nursing a glass of his favorite ale. After he had made a decision regarding Thranduil he had immediately went to the supply room to check the supplies before giving the orders of distribution and most of his men had gone to carry out the task as there was much to do. Although this didn’t bother Thorin really, he would rather be alone anyway and he walked the quite corridors of his palace until his feet had carried him to the dining hall where he had eventually served himself a drink and now sat completely alone contemplating the inevitable that he so dreaded.

  
“You look troubled…” Thranduil said seeming to startle Thorin out of his reverie. “Now you look surprised, but we did have an arrangement to meet once in a while so I don’t see why.” Thranduil said sitting down across from him trying to gauge his mood.

  
“You never were to the one to seek me out though unless you needed something…I figured by this point you needed nothing else from me and I know you are probably wanting to go home now.” Thorin said standing and walking a little bit away not shocked when Thranduil followed.

  
“Is that so wrong?” Thranduil asked taking a cautious step closer to Thorin. “I mean…you know I wish to go home and it seems like as good a time as any to do that.” Thranduil said seeing a sadness cross Thorin’s features.

  
“Is it so wrong that I want you to stay?” Thorin countered looking into Thranduil’s bright blue eyes. “We never decided on a time frame.”

  
Thranduil sighed. “No we didn’t, but I cannot stay here forever. Me being here will only serve to torture the two of us all the more…and I’m sure Mirkwood is already becoming concerned with my absence and I fear that will cause an incident, you still need supplies and I am more than happy to supply them as such.” Thranduil said.

  
“I know all that…but nevertheless while I stand here trying to force out the words that will let you leave I simply can’t seem to say it!” Thorin said grabbing Thranduil’s hands in his own as he pressed his lips into Thranduil’s palms.

  
Thranduil tensed at the gesture, he still wasn’t exactly relaxed with Thorin showing him such affection, partly because what he had done to him and partly because he never really had shown him such fondness before, every day he had spent here Thorin displayed a little more care for Thranduil but it still made Thranduil uncomfortable and fumbling with the situation. Thranduil swallowed thickly before slowly removing his hands from Thorin’s who seemed so reluctant and conflicted Thranduil actually felt a little pity for the dwarf rather than contempt from Thorin actually being very selfish.

  
“Mirkwood and Erebor will still need to communicate regularly…we will still be in contact with one another, I said before that I will not allow you to seek me out ever again and that all matters concerning out respective kingdoms would be communicated through others but in all honestly that is an unrealistic demand. Even if I wished it I would still have to correspond with you…so why not let us do that? If I agree to correspond directly with you and open our trade routes once more would that satisfy this urge you have to stay in contact with me? Will you let me go home?” Thranduil asked knowing it was far less that Thorin wanted but the longer Thranduil stayed the more likely he would recede the opportunity.

  
“You would correspond with me directly then? And when I write to you, you will respond…even if my letters are of a more personal nature? Thorin asked with hope.

  
Thranduil paused. “I suppose…but that is something we might have to work up to Thorin. I’m still recovering from what happened and I need time, I think it best I spend time away from you for a little while at least. You claim to wish to help me and right now it would be a great help if you were to let me go.” Thranduil said.

  
Thorin sighed deeply trying to gather the courage he needed. “You…you have my leave to go.”

  
Thranduil smiled at him and thanked him as he stayed for a moment, this would be the perfect time to forgive him, but before a could get the words out scream tore through the air and he now stood in pure shock at the scene splayed out before him.

 

***

  
Aldewin was walking down the corridors simply wanted to get out of his room for a change, stretch his legs and contemplate things. He was truly happy that Thranduil seemed to actually be better after everything, remembering and processing the experience had had a positive effect which was a relief to Aldewin personally and obviously to Thranduil as well. Thranduil was supposed to be speaking to Thorin right now, requesting that they leave today with the men that came to deliver the shipment of goods, it was the perfect opportunity to do so and the timing was perfect so hopefully Thorin would simply let them go, it was simply too much to be asking Thranduil to stay any longer than he already had.

  
Aldewin had walked by the main dining hall and he saw both Thorin and Thranduil talking, Thorin seemed frustrated but it also seemed he might just be dealing with the emotions of Thranduil leaving, no matter the circumstances Aldewin knew Thorin did love Thranduil regardless of everything he really did love Thranduil…hopefully that love would give him the strength to finally just let him go.

  
He was about to walk away but a glint of light in the corner of his eye made him stop and he looked up at the rafters of the dining hall taking a few steps inside the room, both Thorin and Thranduil blissfully unaware of his presence just yet. Aldewin narrowed his eyes scanning the area where the source of light was coming from. It was then that he saw it, an arrow, more than one, barely catching the light in the room but he knew what this was for they were aimed squarely at Thorin and without a doubt ready to fire at any moment. Both Thorin and Thranduil will still talking, it wasn’t finished yet! So he acted almost without any thought and shoved Thorin out of the way with a shout just as the arrows were released.

  
***

  
Hello again! Obviously while I intended to finish this with 15 chapters it appears that there will be just one more! This would have ended up far too long for one chapter if I continued on any more, besides I like to leave cliffhangers!

Happy birthday to me! This update was my gift to you guys, being loyal fans is greater than any gift I could ever receive otherwise! Thanks for putting up with me ^_^

  
Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated and always responded to!

 

 


	16. Shattered Pieces - Chapter 16

Title: Shattered Pieces – Chapter 16  
Chapter: 16 of 16  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Aldewin(OC)/Thranduil, Thorin/Thranduil  
Rating: NC-17 / R  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma, references to rape/non-con

Authors Note: I know! It’s been a long while and I can’t apologize enough for the delay! I hope you guys like this as it was a little difficult to wrap everything up but I FINALLY did it, so I hope you all enjou the final chapter to “Shattered Pieces” and Part II of my “Survival Series” ^_^

 

***

 

Aldewin was unsure what came over him as he slumped to his knees in pure shock at his own actions, his body had reacted without even thinking lunging forward and pushed that blasted dwarf out of the line of fire…he had protected Thorin and he wasn’t sure as to why. He held no good intentions toward Thorin, he would even go as far as to say he hated the Dwarf King, at some point he had even considering killing the damned dwarf to avenge Thranduil yet he couldn’t bring himself to so such a thing even if was what he deserved…but Thranduil…Thranduil was about ready to forgive him, forgiving Thorin was a monumental step in his recovery giving that forgiveness would help him not hold any type of grudge or animosity toward Thorin, he would not be so focused on the one responsible anymore and simply focus on getting better…Thranduil *needed* to forgive him.

  
Probably why Aldewin had reacted to the scatter of arrows that came rushing toward the dwarf, not to save him exactly, but to save Thranduil and this dwarf still had one last purpose to serve in Thranduil’s recovery. A warmth spread across his hand as he looked down as blood began to seep through his clothing in various places where arrows had pierced his skin, a copper-like taste filling his mouth, he couldn’t seem to feel any pain, but all the strength in his body seemed to disappear and he fell to his knees, he turned his eyes to Thranduil who stood still in obvious shock at the scene before him, Thorin in a similar state of shock.

  
Thorin heard a shout and before he could react he felt himself knocked aside a good few yards as Aldewin shoved him dangerously hard and sent him halfway across the room. Thorin was ready to sling curses at Aldewin for so unexpectedly thrusting him, until he realized that the action hadn’t been in malice, on the contrary…Aldewin had just saved his life. He noticed a few elf’s on the alcove above slowly lowering their weapons in shock as well. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t believe what had just happened. Apparently someone had sent a rescue party to retrieve their King, even if that meant killing Thorin it seemed as though they were prepared to do whatever was necessary, they surely didn’t count on Aldewin willing to give his own life to save Thorin’s it was ridiculous in his own mind that this had just really happened. Thorin glanced at Thranduil who by this point had rushed to his lover’s side catching him in his arms and holding him close near tears.

  
For the briefest of moments, Thorin felt a surge of jealousy and envy at the two. Thorin knew Thranduil would never cry like that for him; never hold him like he was holding Aldewin, but at the same time he really couldn’t wish himself in the elf’s place either…Aldewin had made this situation himself in the goal of saving Thorin’s life, this was his place.

  
“…Aldewin…” Thranduil said placing one hand over his blood soaked chest wound , the other hand he used to hold Aldewin up and look at him intently. “What were you thinking? Why would you do such a thing, how could you?” He said his voice holding a tinge of anger. His voice held anger but his eyes were full of tears not sure if he wanted to cry or scream, probably both as these wounds…was there anything they could do?

  
“For you.” Aldewin said summoning as much strength as he could to try and explain to Thranduil why he had done it.

  
“You promised me! You promised that you would never leave my side!” Thranduil yelled.

  
Thorin swallowed thickly as he listened to Aldewin’s words. He had thought this many times before that Aldewin’s sheer and unwavering devotion to Thranduil would be his downfall. It made sense that for some reason, in some way, saving Thorin was in a way helping Thranduil…this action was not to do Thorin any favor exactly but to serve Thranduil, in the end it really had nothing to do with Thorin at all. Thorin shook himself out of his stupor as quickly as he could.

  
“Attendant! Fetch my healers at once and send them here immediately!” He shouted seeing a dwarf come and go quickly to carry out his orders.

  
Thranduil could see some blood slip from Aldewin’s lips as his heart felt as if was shattering into pieces with each struggled breath his lover took, he looked up to see two elves approach and a third one from behind, he knew these elves they were actually members of Aldewin’s elite guardsmen…they had come to execute Thorin, and no order such as that could be given unless by the King, or in their case their acting King Legolas…Legolas had to have been the one to order this, he was probably just worried about his father and would have never expected this to happen.

  
“Thranduil…” Aldewin said softly.

  
“No…shhh, it’s all right, the healers will be here soon and everything will be all right.” Thranduil said trying to assure himself as much as he was Aldewin.

  
“It is all right.” Aldewin said with a somewhat sad smile. “My life has never been my own, my life, heart, soul, it all belongs to you and I gladly give in it service to you…my entire existence has lead me to this point and is somewhat gratifying that I can make the ultimate sacrifice for you as it has been my desire to display unwavering devotion.” Strangely it was somewhat his life goal to give his life to his King, he was heartbroken and fulfilled at the same time.

  
“You are not finished! I will not allow you to leave me just yet! You will obey!” Thranduil screamed at Aldewin as he saw the healers rush in and immediately began to examine Aldewin. He felt one of his own people try and pull him away so they could properly treat him and although he resisted vigorously he eventually allowed the others to take him aside as Aldewin was moved to the medical wing.

  
***

  
Thranduil was sitting down outside the medical ward, he had sent his soldiers outside the gates of Erebor and to await further instruction, had had considered punishment but his judgment was too clouded with worry and urgency for Aldewin. Thorin was sitting down across from him, he had assisted the healers when they moved Aldewin and just like Thranduil now had blood stains on his clothes.

  
“Even if you don’t believe me I am sorry for what happened to him…also thankful.” Thorin said catching Thranduil’s gaze for a moment.

  
“He didn’t do it for you…” Thranduil said shaking his head. “You and he both hold not even the slightest of affection for one another; he would sooner see you die than save your life.” Thranduil said his voice choked with tears.

  
“…I know…” Thorin said after a moment. “I checked with the medic’s I made sure that they will do everything in their power to save him.”

  
“You don’t understand! Even if we weren’t lovers Thorin I would never be able to live without him! He has been by my side since I was born, he has been the only one who has loved me completely and unconditionally since I was conceived, I love my son and I know he loves me but it’s still different and I would never be able to duplicate what me and Aldewin have! If he was to die…” More tears began to stream down Thranduil’s cheeks.

  
Thranduil swallowed thickly. “Nothing in my life, even with every terrible thing that has *ever* happened to me, the possibility of losing him terrifies me more than anything else.”

  
“He will not die, not even these injures will take him from your side. He cares for you far too much to allow this to defeat him…even I realize that.” Thorin said taking a seat next to Thranduil. “Try not to be too overcome with worry, my healers are well skilled and will do everything in their power to make him well again.”

  
“I know you hate him Thorin, there was a time once I believe you would allow him to die simply so he would not longer be in your way. Are you saying now that you would rather he live and stay by my side?” Thranduil asked.

  
“He did save my life Thranduil, even if the act was primarily for you, which alone is enough for me to want to save his in return. And it’s true I’m not particularly fond of him but he’s so important to you, you need him more than you will ever need me and that doesn’t burn me like it used too…I do love you…but as you said what the two of you have is different and it’s what you need.” Thorin said.

  
Thranduil looked at Thorin a moment and upon seeing the sincerity and decency in Thorin’s eyes he felt some of his concern lift and felt a little better although still worried. “He saved you for me…do you know why you still being alive it more a benefit toward me than his own life?” Thranduil asked.

  
Thorin tilted his head to the side. “I wanted to ask…but didn’t think now was the right time.”

  
“Because if you were willing to let me go home, let *us* return home…I want to forgive you, if you were to die than I would never be able to do that.” Thranduil said looking into Thorin’s eyes.

  
“F-forgive me?” Thorin said in disbelief. “How can you even think of forgiving me?” Thorin asked not sure how this could even be possible, he had dreams Thranduil would forgive him but over the last couple of days he had given up hope of such a thing.

  
“I felt it was important. There is no sense of logic in punishing you or myself any longer over this. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice…and if they repent forgive them,” Thranduil said taking a long pause to allow his words to sink in. “I forgive you Thorin.”

  
Thorin could swear to that moment his heart had stopped, was their anger and hatred toward one another finally over? Were they both finally free of one another? “Thank you” Thorin said after a moment and the two Kings sat for a while in silence simply looking at one another.

 

  
***

 

It seemed as if it took days for the healers to finally allow Thranduil into the medical ward to be by Aldewin’s side, the arrows had been removed and although he had lost a tremendous amount of blood it seemed that his condition was now stabilized at least for the time being. Aldewin was unconscious now and it seemed it would be some time before he woke up again.

  
“While he is steady we cannot keep it that way for long, he needs stronger medicine and Elvin healing otherwise I don’t think he will survive much longer.” The healer said having done as much as possible.

  
Thranduil looked to Thorin for a moment. “Let me take him home, if he needs my peoples healing I need to get him home as soon as possible.” Thranduil said.

  
Thorin nodded although he was still concerned.”Is it even safe to move him though? I’m not trying to discourage you from going home but…is it safe?” He asked glancing at the healer.

  
“There is nothing more we can do for him here frankly, a few elves have arrived with a caravan of supplies, they could easily transport him with that. It might aggravate his wounds some but in all honesty the sooner he gets home the better. Brining Elvin healers here is not practical.” He said.

  
“Very well.” Thorin said. “What preparations do you need to make?”

  
***

  
It didn’t take long for Thranduil to gather the few things he had and prepare the convoy elf’s for the journey home, he would reprimand them later for their actions right now he wanted the focus on Aldewin and making sure he survived the journey home, regardless of what the healer said it was still a rough road to be taking someone seriously injured upon, if there was a different option he would take it. They had supplied Thranduil with enough medical supplies and had placed Aldewin in a drug induced sleep so that his movement would be kept to the barest minimum.

  
When Aldewin was safely resting in the carriage and they were about to depart Thorin walked up to them wringing his hands slightly as he approached Thranduil. Thranduil swallowed a little nervously as he looked to his guards.

  
“Get everything ready, we’ll leave in a moment.” He said basically telling them to give him and Thorin a little privacy. “We need to get him to Mirkwood as soon as possible…you understand.” Thranduil said.

  
“Yes, I know all that…and I know how important he is to you but there will always be some part of me that desperately wants you to stay, even if you stayed though I know it’ll never grant me the results I want.” Thorin said feeling a terrible sadness at the fact Thranduil was leaving, finally he would be taken away from him.

  
“Thorin…” Thranduil began but was stopped almost instantly.

  
“You don’t need to say anything else, it’s all right…I just wanted to say goodbye, and that I will miss you…more than you will ever know.” Thorin said the last part almost inaudibly but Thranduil of course heard it.

  
“Goodbye Thorin.” Thranduil said a feeling of compassion washing over him and before he turned and left he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Thorin’s cheek, quickly and softly as a summer’s breeze. “We both need to move forward Thorin; I hope you can find your own happiness.” He said before climbing in the back of the carriage to sit beside his lover.

  
Both Thorin and Thranduil kept eye contact with one another until they could no longer see the other off the horizon, both of their hearts were heavy and there was still damage between them that needed to be healed but they were able to get away from one another and Thranduil had found much love in another and hopefully one day Thorin would find his own love and live his life.

  
***

  
Thankfully they returned home without incident, Aldewin had lost more blood but he had no infections and his various wounds were not worse than when they started the journey and although Thranduil did not wish to be separated from Aldewin but his guard was immediately taken to the apothecary and Thranduil was swarmed by council members, attendants, and a million others that kept him from overseeing Aldewin’s treatment although one he didn’t mind seeing and that was Legolas. In the back of his mind he was still angry at Legolas for acting so rashly and sending a team to execute Thorin but Thranduil also felt a little responsible for that too because he had kept so much from Legolas when he should have felt secure enough to confide in him. Because Thranduil had kept so many secrets was why Aldewin had been hurt, he should have spoken to Legolas, written him a letter explaining things, something to ease his sons worry but he hadn’t too wrapped up in his own problems to take notice of his child’s anguish and it tore at Thranduil insides. He walked up to Legolas and drew him into a strong embrace not caring about the unusual display of affection and the quite mummers of on lookers and he simply held him tight to his chest for a long while and any other in the vicinity seemed to take the hint to leave the King and prince alone for the time being.

 

“Father…My King.” Legolas said looking up at his father. “We received no word that you would be arriving.”

  
“There was no time; Aldewin needed medical treatment so we left as soon as possible. Those foolish guards you sent shot him.” Thranduil said letting Legolas go putting a little distance between them. “Why would you send an assassination squad without at least asking me about it first? Was a letter too much to ask before you took such drastic measures?” Thranduil asked unable to keep himself from asking.

  
“At the time I didn’t think so, I had heard no word from you and before Aldewin left he was so cryptic of what was going on with you and Thorin and for all I knew he was keeping you against your will and doing terrible things to you…and you had already been acting so strangely, I was so worried and a little overwhelmed with my responsibilities…I think I just, I needed my father and my King to come back home.” Legolas said feeling a huge relief that his father seemed all right. “Beside all that Aldewin was not to be hurt in the first place.”

  
“It was an accident but it happened nonetheless…” Thranduil looked at Legolas and gave a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, I should have written to you at least but much has happened over the past few weeks…and I think that maybe I’m ready to talk to you about it.” Thranduil said as he motioned for Legolas to follow him.

  
They went to his bedroom after Thranduil informed an assistant to inform him immediately when Aldewin could be seen and to also have a very hot bath drawn up and cancel all council meeting that might be scheduled that day and lastly that unless he was bringing the information about Aldewin he and Legolas were not to be disturbed for any other reason. Thranduil he sat down near the fireplace in his room feeling much better to be in the comfort of his home again as he motioned for Legolas to come and sit next to him.  
“Much has happened ion and I must ask you forgive me for not confiding in you for all these years. There are things I must tell you and it’s not the kind of things you’ll like I’m sure it will entice anger and a million other emotions just as it did for me…do you still wish to know?” Thranduil asked.

  
“Yes Ada…you can tell me anything and if you ever need to talk I am here for you, I’m your son and I would never judge you. You can trust me.”

  
“Good.” Thranduil took a deep breath. “It started a few years back during the celebration in Erebor…”

  
***

  
Thranduil took a deep breath as he sat in bed silently with his beloved child asleep upon his chest, Thranduil had shared everything about what had happened to him while in Erebor, how he had been assaulted, how he and Aldewin had started their relationship, his road to recovery, he had shared everything with Legolas and his dear son listened and offered only a few words of support and never judgment and Thranduil felt a huge weight lifted from his chest that he hadn’t even realized was there until he was able to breathe more easily again. He could talk to Legolas whenever he needed and that was more comforting than he thought possible, he no longer had to face his problems alone anymore, he had a wonderful lover and a wonderful child to help him.

  
Thranduil himself was about to drift off as well but a soft knock to his door alerted him. “Enter.” He said softly as the young attendant from earlier spoke.

  
“Lord Aldewin is now resting comfortably in the medical ward, the healers say he should make a full recovery soon. You may see him now if you wish.” He said with a slight bow.  
Thranduil as gently as possible removed himself from Legolas’ side before leaving the room to go and see Aldewin.

  
***

  
When Aldewin awoke he almost immediately noticed where he was, the was in the medical ward of Mirkwood, he was home again…and most importantly he was alive, he breathed a sigh of relief although a sharp needle like sensation filled his lungs and was a little startled when he noticed Thranduil sitting right beside him when he spoke.

  
“You really are a fool.” Thranduil practically growled. “If you ever scare me like that again I will never pardon you for it.”

  
“…We’re both home again…are you all right?” Aldewin asked as he tried to sit up but Thranduil only pushed him back down.

  
“You need to try and rest, you are still healing. And yes we are both home and safe, the healers in Erebor were able to remove the arrows, stop your bleeding mostly, and stabilize your condition although you would need stronger medicine soon and they were ill equipped to provide it. You needed Elvin remedy and healing so we used the caravan to take you back home, you’ve been asleep since the journey began and thusly for over two weeks…and I’m fine, you needn’t worry about me right now, just work on getting better.” Thranduil said more gently this time.

  
Aldewin nodded his head but still needed to speak. “What about Thorin?”

  
“I forgave him…and once we were certain that you were stable enough for the journey he let me go without any resistance. The elves responsible for trying to assassinate Thorin and accidentally shooting you were only following Legolas’ orders so no punishment was given, although since they are part of your regiment they are dreading the day when you are back on your feet.” Thranduil said knowing Aldewin would want some type of revenge against them, even if it was an accident.

  
“We are still sending Erebor supplies and I have agreed to correspond with Thorin, but I think everything will be okay now.” Thranduil said taking Aldewin’s hand in his own kissing it softly.

  
Aldewin smiled back before reaching up to pull Thranduil a little closer for a more intimate kiss their lips meeting tenderly for a lingering passion.

  
***

  
…Two months later…

Thranduil sat in his study once more going over correspondents and letters and came across one from Erbeor. For a moment he flipped the letter over in his hands even glancing at the fireplace in the room while considering burning it like he had done in the past with all and anything that came his way that had been from Erebor…but after a moment he took a deep breath and opened it.

_King Thranduil of Mirkwood,_

  
_As Thorin King under the mountain of Erebor I thought it best I send a personal letter of gratitude and thanks’ in regards to all the aid you have supplied us, without your generosity many of our people would have perished due to famine but now that is no longer a fear. I also appreciate you sending some of your best farmers to educate us in growing a more substantial food source of our own and hopefully this will provide us with better trading in the future. As another gesture of thanks I have had a shipment of gems, fabric, and wine as this will hopefully be a ample payment for the good you have given, which of course you may renegotiate later if you wish, the shipment will probably take a fortnight to reach you after this letter._  
_As we have discussed you agreed that I could write you of more personal nature as well as formal about our mutual kingdoms. I was glad to hear that your friend Aldewin has made a full recovery and the two of you are continuing your relationship, I was also glad to receive news of your own health being well. Regardless of everything I still find myself thinking of you from time to time, for now I cannot seem to move on with my life but I have hopes that I will be able to one day in the future, although I am happy you have moved on and that you are home, happy with someone you love and a loving son. I do hope this letter reaches you in good spirits and not discarded like so many others prior to our reconciliation._

  
_With warm regard and affection._  
_King Thorin under the mountain._

 

Thranduil sent the letter down and leaned back in his chair with a small smile gracing his features, he was able to read the letter, he didn’t throw it away or burn it he was actually able to read it and it hadn’t sent him into a feuded state. He took a deep sigh and placed it in the received pile, the letter had also added a small list of requested items and Thranduil would consider them once the shipment Thorin mentioned had arrived and he would write back as well….writing to him didn’t seem like a bad idea after all, it was an easy way to be in contact but not in a hostile environment, this was good for him in the long run. After he filed away more letters and issues Aldewin entered the study with a smile, looking as if he had just ran a marathon covered in dust and debris.

  
Thranduil raised an eyebrow at his disheveled appearance. “It would be nice if you were to clean yourself up a little before visiting me, you look awful.” Thranduil said standing up to greet Aldewin.

  
“I’ve been running a few of my men a little roughly lately and I’m trying also get myself back into shape as you had practically confined me to the medical ward for almost a month.” Aldewin complained never having been laid up that long in his life. “But I wanted to come see you once it was finished would you rather I bathe and then come back?” Aldewin asked with a smile knowing the answer.

  
“You had been shot Aldewin, several times I might add…and you are already here so stay for a little while.” Thranduil said wrapping his arms about his neck and giving him a chaste kiss. “I take it those few men are the ones responsible for your injuries in the first place.” Thranduil said.

  
“Yes, them and I asked Legolas to join them in training took a little persuasion but he agreed…although I’m sure he is now regretting it he will see it through to the end.” Aldewin said as he had left them with much more to do before they would come back to the palace, they would be looking much worse than he did once they returned.  
Thranduil shook his head at Aldewin’s somewhat underhanded technique in exacting revenge on those who had wronged him no matter or not if it was an accident or not.

“Training indeed.” Thranduil said. “So we are alone for a little while then?” Thranduil said pulling his lover closer for a more passionate kiss, no longer caring about Aldewin being a little soiled.

Usually Thranduil was never disturbed often but with his return Legolas had been checking up him almost constantly so it was hard to be alone sometimes.

  
Aldewin smiled as Thranduil and himself had not made love since that time in Erebor and so much had been going on since their return that they had hardly enough time to even share one another’s beds much less be intimate with one another, and as to Aldewin’s own personality he was never one to ask and certainly never push as Thranduil was still healing no matter the couple of months it had been already.

  
“You sure?” Aldewin asked always the ever cautious one where Thranduil was concerned.

  
“I’m sure.” Thranduil said as he moved backward urging Aldewin to follow him.

  
Thranduil stopped once his back hit the desk behind him and Aldewin almost instantly lifted him up so he could sit upon it and the two were of a more even height and their mouths opened to deepen the kiss.

  
“I love you.” Thranduil said softly embracing Aldewin in a comforting hug. “Everything seems to just be falling into to place now, and I can’t remember the last time I was so happy.” He said softly.

  
Aldewin smiled softly rubbing Thranduil’s back soothingly. “It might be a long road yet, but I’m here to support you and so is Legolas, you are surrounded by friends, loved ones, family, let that sooth and heal you.” Aldewin said kissing his forehead.

  
Thranduil smile dot himself. “I am no longer shattered.” He said with fulfillment.

 

~FIN~

OMG! I actually finished it! I was a little curious if I would ever be able to wrap this up! Yay me ^_^ and I can now focus a little more on my ‘Various Thranduil’ one-shot fiction. I hope everyone enjoyed this and thanks to everyone who stuck with me until the very end! Thanks for taking this journey with me!

  
The comments about forgiveness are actually from Ephesians 4:31-32 and Luke 17:3-4 these are just words that I truly believe in myself and it felt appropriate to the tone of the fiction and Thranduil’s feeling in concern to forgiving Thorin.

  
Special thanks to all those who have commented, given kudos, and bookmarked this fiction!

  
Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!

 


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